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What's the proper thing to do??

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May 20th, 2010, 06:49 PM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,926
Okay, you look over and see some older kid pushing your child or being physically aggressive in another way, and their mom is obviously not paying attention or caring. What do you do?!!!!

Angels in Heavan.
Helena May, June 28, 2007 & Alexander Michael, October 11, 2007
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May 20th, 2010, 07:59 PM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070
Remove your child from the situation (since the other parent won't remove their child)? I dunno... that's what I thought of first. I guess if it is only slightly agressive, you could start with asking the kid "please don't push Hayden". If the child doesn't stop or the parent doesn't step in then, the only thing left is to protect Hayden by removing him.

There is a twin boy at our church who is very agressive and likes to push girls. Of course, when he pushes them, they fall down, so it can be dangerous. I'm VERY mindful when he is around to make sure I am protecting Makenna. Since she isn't standing on her own yet, she hasn't been a target, but I'm still very cautious. The mother always punishes him after he does it, so you know she doesn't want him doing it... I'm sure she is at a loss as well.

Don't know if I helped any....

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May 20th, 2010, 08:34 PM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,960
I would just say, "Oh! Be careful, he is still a baby"....or he is still little...or something that explains it to the child without sounding like discipline. Sometimes older kids will respond to that and hopefully that will prompt mom to step in. If it doesn't, I think you have to do what Sacha said and protect your child both from injury and from learning that behavior.

3 angels Feb, Mar, Aug of 2008
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May 21st, 2010, 12:43 AM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,926
Thanks ladies, I think both of your advice is very helpful, thank you. It's really hurtful to me when I see someone being mean to my son. I mean the look on his little face when that happens. And, then, the other mom just sits there. Argh! I am definitely going to say something next time, because if I just remove him(which is what I have been doing), I am not sure he is learning that the other childs behavior is the one that needs correction. Maybe he thinks he has done something wrong for me to be removing him, ya know? Anyhow, thanks for the feedback and being my sounding board!

Angels in Heavan.
Helena May, June 28, 2007 & Alexander Michael, October 11, 2007
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May 21st, 2010, 06:32 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I agree with Sacha and Kelly. I hope this stops happening to poor Hayden. That would break my heart, too. I would def say something to the child without being too forceful. At dance class, a little girl pushed Haley a while back. The mom didn't do anything. I was livid. I just simply told the girl to please not be pushing that it's not nice. The mom immediately jumped in and got onto her child. I guess she wasn't even paying attention

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May 21st, 2010, 12:06 PM
katiegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Indpls
Posts: 2,517
When David was little I was constantly telling the older kids at the parks to "watch out for the little kids", was sure to say it loud enough for the parents to hear but nice enough that they didn't think I was diciplining their child.
When they got a little old and Meghan was the little one I would just sit back and let David confront the bigger kids if they were mean to Meghan, and he would without hesitation. It worked because I knew the parents wouldn't yell at a kid that wasn't theirs but they would look up and notice that it was their kid being the thug. That is is so adorable to see him sticking up for his little sister.

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May 21st, 2010, 12:36 PM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
Awww this really sucks. Benjamin went through a huge period where he would let other kids pick on him and it really, really bothered me. He would stand there and let kids hit him or steal toys or push him and the look on his face showed that he upset but he wouldnt do anything. It was hard to watch. When he went through this period i never left his side. I always stepped in and stopped the other kid, no matter who they were. I would just say something like "No, no he is just little" in a nice voice and usually the other mom would step in at that point. I didnt want him losing confidence so I always stepped in and helped him. Now he stands up for himself and is way more confident. I hope that helped but what the hell do I know? LOL All I know is, if Hayden is getting hurt or you feel uncomfortable about the situation then step in. Its your child and your right so dont feel bad about it.
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May 21st, 2010, 01:44 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
my last experience with this was eons ago when i was part-time nanny in college...if you can address it without it sounding like discipline that's definitely best BUT i would absolutely say something if the other parent doesn't. Sometimes a well placed "if we're going to keep playing together then we need to be careful and not [fill in the blank with whatever the kid is doing]" but if that doesn't work removing him from the situation may be only choice.

I really, really don't look forward to this with Savannah 'cause i'm ALWAYS amazed at what some parents just tolerate from their kids....with my baby brother and with the kids I nanny'd for I was always on the look out for them playing too roughly (and sometimes they don't even realize they are) with the little ones...bullying I simply won't tolerate at all.

Savannah Stylin!

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