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April 28th, 2008, 09:45 PM
srs srs is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,421
I think we had unrealistic expectations that things would get better after Sally turned one, but we are having a rough time still with her 24/7 attachment to Mommy and not wanting Daddy unless she knows he's about to leave for work. Someone who has btdt, please tell me - when does this get better? I'm finding myself getting cranky because she's been so cranky and clingy and needy, and then I feel bad because we just moved and she's trying to learn to walk and still getting those teeth in and so it's rough for her too. And my Dh is beyond frustrated. He wants me to leave her with him and leave the house for bedtime so she has to go to sleep without me. Since we're in an apartment right now, I really don't want to do that to the neighbors.

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April 28th, 2008, 10:03 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh hun I wish I could tell you! For us it is still momma momma momma. I think we just fell into it because Dh would pass him off when he was upset & that's how it is. You just have to do what you feel is right with your family. For me - I just put him in the carrier & take him with me. I know you are home all the time though - so it's tough. I always tell myself DS does this because he misses me all day so I just try to go with it....not sure that is helpful. You should ask on the AP board too if you haven't already. Wish I could be more help - but please know I am right there with you! Half the time I am peeing with Ds on my lap - LOL.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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April 29th, 2008, 09:12 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,732
Another clingy baby mom here. I think you listed all the reasons that she's still really clingy: walking, teething, and a major move. Any ONE of those can make babies seek comfort, much less all 3 at once, and who better to offer that than the one with the yummy bbs?! Babies get a little independence, then come back for comfort, then gain more independence, then come back for comfort. This cycle exists the whole time children are growing up (my almost 7 year old still comes back to me for reassurance that I'm still there then heads off to climb a tree or wreck his bike trying a new trick...you know "watch me Momma", because he knows there's an element of danger that is less scary if Momma is watching).

I know it's hard right now. And it seems like it's been this way forever. But in the grand scheme of things, this really lasts for a very short while. Hang in there. If you need a break, then pick an evening or weekend day for you to leave her with daddy while you go do something for you. Just make it the same day every time, so she gets used to the schedule (i.e., after dinner on Thursday, mommy goes out). Before long you'll be posting on here that you're sad because she wants nothing to do with you because she's so busy and independent!
Do not sorrow; the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10
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April 29th, 2008, 11:54 AM
srs srs is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,421
Glad to know I'm not alone. I do like that I'm needed. And yes, I do need to get out more regularly. Since we moved, I kinda stopped doing that, and it's starting to get to me.

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April 29th, 2008, 10:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 2,423
Sara, I hate to say this but your DH is right. You have to just do it. Leave her with him and she'll be forced to do what she doesn't want to to. We had to use the tough love and show Nick who was boss. Ultimately, we get into a habit of allowing the children to control the situation and that is just normal but in the end everyone suffers for it. So you guys have to take back control and Sally just has to get used to it. So as the btdt mommy here I tell you that DH is right. The neighbors will get over it too She's a baby and she's not going to be happy but when she gets used to it you ALL will be so much better off.

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