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marrying an unbeliever

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  • 1 Post By 2Corinthians10:4
  • 1 Post By Countrymom4
  • 1 Post By 2Corinthians10:4

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October 3rd, 2012, 03:51 PM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,400
what are your thoughts?
Is it impossible to have a healthy relationship when your spouse doesn't share your beliefs? Or have any belief in God?
What If they were respectful despite differences in beliefs?
I've heard some say it's a sin to do so.

I'd like to withhold my own feelings on this but I would really appreciate others thoughts and opinions or experiences. Imagine someone close to you was faced with this decision and asked for your advice or guidance.What would you tell them?
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October 3rd, 2012, 04:00 PM
2Corinthians10:4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 12,959
I am married to an unbeliever and do not think it is a sin. I prayed to God after Dh told me he was an unbeliever (3 weeks before we got married) and honestly felt that God wanted me to marry him. Is it hard? Heck yes! But I do not think it hinders my relationship with God or makes my marriage unhealthy. I do not badger my Dh about God, I do invite him to church and I pray for him but I know that he is not going to develop a relationship with God or see God through me if I am hounding him and nagging him about it all the time.

You say what if he is respectful despite his beliefs (or lack thereof), and I have to say my Dh wasn't always respectful or loving. It is because of that that we almost got a divorce before we had even been married 6 months and not because of his lack of faith. My Dh decided to change the way he was treating me though and because of that we are still together. I think if he was still unrespectful and unloving we probably would not have a good marriage but because he has changed we do have a good one.
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Thank you Kiliki for my beautiful siggy!

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October 3rd, 2012, 08:29 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
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Corrinhians2. We have a lot in common! I'm also married to an unbeliever. My story is a little but different bc I wasn't saved when we married. He is Jewish by culture but is an atheist. If this confused you lol well It's hard to explain haha. It def adds some speed bumps but there are some in every marriage. I'd like to think that sometimes people are brought together by GOD for the very purpose of one either being a testimony to the other or bc we can learn and evolve a lot from people who make us see things differently. My husband too can have a harsh tongue and be disrespectful but he knows this and is working on it. It is directed at my faith sometimes. I don't think that one should necessarily only marry one of like faith bc things are not that clear and dry and I don't believe that is GODS intentions. We are all his people and have the same opportunity to spend eternity with him.

However, having different faiths does complicate things but like all issues and differences in a marriage, with love, I believe they can be worked out.
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October 3rd, 2012, 09:32 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
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I can't personally imagine it. I know two here are living it and have already replied. I feel like it would complicate EVERY area of your life. I feel like you wouldn't hardly agree on anything and it would cause a lot of stress, tension and heartache.

2 Corinthians 6:14 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"

However....1 Corinthians 7 talks in detail about being married to an unbeliever:

Starting in verse 12 it says "If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must NOT divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But it the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound is such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them."

I also know God called Hosea to go marry a prostitute. So obviously she wasn't a believer.

I don't think it's God's perfect plan for us to marry a non-believer. He had a specific plan for Hosea but I don't think that was the norm. Obviously it happens,...thats why we have 1 Corinthians 7 telling us what to do with it. Paul doesn't say the believer is "sinning" or ought to be ashamed of themselves or anything like that. He simply tells them how to handle it and even says that you may be the one to bring your unbelieving spouse to salvation.
~ Ginger

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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October 3rd, 2012, 10:24 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
I love you Ginger You have soo much knowledge!!

I don't have much to say, I think the ladys have gave you some great info.
Welcome to Christian parenting
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October 4th, 2012, 12:51 AM
2Corinthians10:4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for your post Ginger, I too always leave your posts feeling like I've learned something I did want to give a little bit of personal insight though about where you said you thought it would complicate EVERY area of your life. I feel like you wouldn't hardly agree on anything and it would cause a lot of stress, tension and heartache. For me this isn't the case. Maybe it is because both Dh and I grew up in a very conservative southern culture so a lot of things we agree in I chalk up to the way were raised. For example Dh wants Dd to dress modestly and does not want her in two piece bathing suits, and neither do I, we both also feel very strongly about manners and respect. We want her to use good manners and say 'yes ma'am' 'no ma'am', open doors for others, etc. We just have different reasons behind them. For him it is the way we were raised, and for me it is that plus I see the biblical part behind it to.

My situation is weird though because Dh has actually expressed that he WANTS Dd to believe in God and have faith, he wants me to take her to church, etc. He just doesn't believe?
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Thank you Kiliki for my beautiful siggy!

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October 4th, 2012, 12:07 PM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,400
Thank you guys for your answers and sharing! I really appreciate it. It helped me get a little perspective!
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