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I need some help ...advice

Forum: Christian Parenting


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October 25th, 2012, 09:48 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
I have neigbours that we have became friends with because they are our age and have kids our age. There is 3 familys and us...2 familys are sister in laws.

2 of the sister in laws are always fighting and back stabbing. The The one(Sue) she is sweet as pie to you but totally rude behind your back. And she is running our sunday school at the small church I finally seen that these were people I did not want to class as friends. At this time I was also teaching my girls about GOOD friends and took a look at my friends and started making some choices. So I started putting distance between us. The other couple are very close with Sue's family, so I thought that was fine I don't really want to be involved in any of that.

2 of the familys HS, They have girls the same age as DD#2, They do some things with the HS group but alot together. Our girls are friends and invite each other to their birthday partys and things. So we still have contact.

Here is my issue...... I feel left out, jealous, rejected when they don't include us Even though I don't want to be friends with them

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October 25th, 2012, 03:15 PM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
I would count it a blessing. Maybe the one girl senses your disapproval of her. I know it's no fun being left out but sometimes people just don't "click." Theres a girl I've known at church for years and we use to be close but our husbands did not click at all and our kids didn't really get along. Our friendship never really became what it could have been because of this. She is also one of those nice/nasty people and a HUGE gossip. My husband hated our friendship. She's somebody I really have to stay away from now. I know she doesn't understand. I love her but I can't be close to her. There are others who also complain about being left out...one that I can think of....we tried to include but the wife was constantly saying snotty, degrading things and wouldn't ever be open with any of us. She and her husband fight and have drama constantly but cover it up in public. Several (including us) have tried to include and befriend them but it just gets to a point where you want to be around people who are EASY, non-drama, not negative and that you naturally "click" with. There are a lot of young families at our church and we always reach out and try to include them at least a few times. Some have been extremely clingy, jealous and possessive.....some have been very negative, drama filled gossippers, some have even been extremely flirtatious and manipulative and send red flags up all over the place. Then there are those few families who I adore the wife and husband, my husband adores both and our kids get along well. They are mature and fun and EASY to be around. This is who we choose to spend our time with.

Don't let the devil use insecurity and jealousy to make you crazy. You could self-evaluate to make sure you are being a good friend and someone other people want around but unless you see it as a pattern with other people...it's probably just THOSE girls.
~ Ginger

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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October 25th, 2012, 07:00 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,420
aww..they are missing out! The whole "it's not you it's me"...this applies but honestly! If for some reason you don't "fit in" or feel as if you do that's a compliment to yourself. It sounds like these women are extremely caddy and that perhaps being less involved is better. Everyone wants to be approved of, even if they know the person who is approving is not worthy.

A true friend won't make you feel insecure and a true good person/friend to anyone won't do this to others. you are clearly a step ahead of them in the moral department. GOOD FOR YOU!!

I'm sorry these gals have got you down....you deserve better!! You are perfect and their behavior is a reflection of their shortcomings not yours.....xoxo. "Birds of a feather flock together."....you are of a different and BETTER feather....(sorry so corny)
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October 25th, 2012, 07:26 PM
Rae-of-Sunshine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,211
I think it is a natural human reaction to want to be included and to feel like you are a part of something. So it is natural to feel left out ... BUT .. from what you have said you know you are better off without them as close friends. I encourage you to focus on those friends that are good for you and your children. I know that is not always and easy thing though ...
"If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall Thy hand lead me and Thy right hand shall guide me."

Psalm 139:9-10
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October 25th, 2012, 08:22 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
That is totally it Marjorie !! I don't want to be friends with them, but find myself feeling left out when I hear them doing something with out me. But yet if i don't know I don't even think twice Weird I know

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