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iNDEPENDENT Fundamental Baptist Church? Questions.

Forum: Christian Parenting


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February 24th, 2014, 07:37 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 725
My husband and I have been attending an IFB church for the last 3 years (since being married here). We are now starting to see some things in the church that are upsetting to us in regards to dress standards, and in regards to the accountability of our pastor. He has seemed to have changed over the last year and has become much weaker in his preaching. Has anyone else attended an IFB church and had problems with a "dictatorial" type pastor. This man has "owned" and run the church for the last 30 years and he does not want to preach against the sin feminism in the church and when confronted (in a private manner) he gets very defensive. Likely because the people who attend the church are mostly his own children and grandchildren. Has anyone else experienced these troubles in their church? Do IFB churches tend to be run this way in other parts of the US and Canada?

Thank You
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February 24th, 2014, 08:30 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
I don't know anything about IFB, I have been part of a church that was a close family and friends base. It seamed like no one wanted to ruffle feathers and call someone out on Oun Godly acts. There were Deacons that would be at the bar drunk the night before.

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February 24th, 2014, 09:37 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 725
oh my goodness that is terrible. Yes it seems the same tho here nobody is willing to ruffle any feathers! And when you bring a subject up to the pastor he gets angry and claims individuals are "critical" and should tithe 10 percent and evangelize more.
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February 24th, 2014, 12:57 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 559
I've never attended an IFB church either. As a young child I went to a Catholic church and since then have only gone to what would be considered mainline prodestant churches or military chapels. All have (for better or worse) had some accountability for the pastor outside of the individual church itself. But that doesn't mean some pastors still can't cause problems like what you describe. In my experience though, if enough of the congregation is upset about it, it won't be long before the pastor is "encouraged to seek another calling".
Fwiw, I don't think the size of the church or the number of family connections seems to matter much.

Btw... Welcome to the board. Glad you're here.
~Daughter of the Most High King
~Wife to my Best Friend
~Mother of Miracles

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February 24th, 2014, 01:53 PM
ZaydensMomma's Avatar Aaron Nicole
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,454
I have no experience but I want to welcome you to the board!

Age 36 with PCOS, poor ovarian reserve (.197), and blocked left fallopian tube.
We are TTC our 2nd blessing baby.
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February 24th, 2014, 04:00 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 725
thank you for welcoming me I appreciate it! Its nice to find a board where Christian believers and mothers can gather
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February 26th, 2014, 02:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
My family and I went to a baptist church throughout my teenage years. It's a smallish southern baptist church. At the time I was attending, it was about 150 people. No one really told me about anything there until I found some things out years later through ex church staff members. When we first started attending, the church was in the process of changing pastors. After several years, the new guy left (that's what it appeared to people not clued in to what was going on at the time, like me) just after I got married and moved. It turns out he was asked to resign because of accountability issues to put it simply. Then shortly after that, the church lost its worship leader and shortly after that, the main sanctuary was hauled away and demolished for "county building code violations" (quotations used because that was very fishy on their part to just come out of the blue after the church using that building with no problems for a lot of years). Church is now held in what was the fellowship hall, last I saw. The church is now slowly imploding since 90% of members are over the age of 65. They only just recently got a more permanent pastor, but I think the church will pretty much be dissolved within a few years and just be gone. Very sad and disappointing.

The church my husband grew up attending had its issues too and ultimately his parents decided to stop going there, but wouldn't go to any other churches.

My point is, this stuff isn't specific to certain denominations. Wherever people are, imperfection will be, too. That's just a fact. Now, if you see things in certain churches that just plain rub you the wrong way, be it the people themselves or the doctrine they preach, then keep looking! There's nothing that says you need to stay where you are uncomfortable.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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