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December 29th, 2009, 08:09 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 43
I'm 15 weeks pregnant and current talking to an adoptive family who will potentially be our baby's parents. I'm just feeling so many emotions right now and since I met the couple, I am extremely emotional. I guess it all just hit that this is really happening. Is there any other birth moms here who can give me some advice? Words of wisdom? How do I know when it's the right family.
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January 3rd, 2010, 10:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I'm not a birth mom but I can offer you some advice on the adovtive parents thing. When it's right you'll know I know that seems kind of general but it's true. My bio Dad said that when he met my adovtive parents he knew they were the right parents for me.

Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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January 5th, 2010, 03:31 PM
Claysgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 823
Go with your gut feeling. As soon as I found out about open adoption, I knew deep down it was the right choice for my little girl. Over the course of my pregnancy I would always second guess myself, but in the end I realized I needed to trust my gut. The decision is about what is best for the baby, not for you, and sometimes it's hard to always think that way. It's a long, hard road, but it's so worth it in the end. My birth Daugther will be 7 in April (hard to believe!) The last 7 years I've had many ups and downs, but I'm in a good place now. I have a beautiful 8 month old son, and now that I am a Mom I know I made the right choice. I couldn't have provided my daugther with everything she needed when I had her (I was 17).
Please feel free to ask any questions, here or through PM.

Oh, and another bit of advice - if you are having an open adoption, and want to create a good relationship with the A parents - start now. I didn't meet my A parents until I was in my 3rd trimester, and was to scared to really try to start a friendship with them. I regret that. We now have that relationship, but it took us a while to get there. I wish I would have also discussed how we would communicate, and what was okay and what wasn't. We didn't really do that, and I was always scared to try to schedule a visit, or send letters because I didn't want to seem like I was pushing the line. Now, I can call them whenever I want, we are friends on Facebook etc, and I'm sure all that would have been fine from the begining, but I was too scared to find out!
Momma to Matthew 4-15-09
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January 6th, 2010, 04:49 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
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Welcome! I am Jen, host of the board. My birth daughter Olivia just turned 11( soooo fast!!) and I have 2 year old Leila and 5 month old Owen at home with me. I hope we are able to give you the words of wisdom, comfort, and place to work out your thoughts with time. We are a bit slow so please forgive us.

I do think everything Katie said is exactly right. I want to add though that I didn't meet Olivia's mom(I placed her with a single mother...I was raised by one and feel strongly that they have just as much to give as a couple and deserve to be a mom just as much.) until after Olivia was born. I was just so unsure about who I would place her with. In spite of that we have a GREAT relationship. I think what makes it so is that all of us shoot straight. If we have something to say or something that is bothering us we say it...no bars held. It seems to work well.

I guess what I am trying to say is look for one that makes you feel like ahhhh. THIS is right. It doesn't have to be right away...you have a little time. Make sure it feels perfect.

Please ask any questions or even just come vent, share, post pictures, whatever you need/want to. We all have been there and are not here to judge.

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!

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