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August 11th, 2011, 03:15 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
so i am not quite sure if this is the right place, i couldnt figure out where else to post this.

i am an adopted child. I'm now 21 years old and just came into contact with my bdad for the first time since i was 2 on friday. we have talked every day since either emails or phone calls. I am so overwhelmed with emotions. But I'm not sure if i am doing this right. I know this forum section is for birth moms but i am hoping some of you may be able to give me some advice on what its like from your perspective. is there something I can do to help him? or to make this easier on everyone involved? I do not know where my bmom is, but he knows where her parents are and he is going to go talk to them when he gets a chance to find out if she wishes to be contacted by me. This is all so new and foreign to me and i am going into this completely blind. I am reading all i can find on the web but i just want to know what ever i can. Im sure this is a sensitive forum, i just was not sure where else to post?

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September 4th, 2011, 06:39 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
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Welcome! You are more than welcome to post here! You can provide us with the other side of the coin as well.

Honestly, I'd take things slow and just keep working at it. If she wants to have contact hopefully he can breach that gap. If not, offer up a phone number where you can be reached and have them give it to her/them. It is up to them to take further steps too and sometimes they just aren't ready.

I don't think there is anything you can do to smooth things over. It is a hard clumsy challenging situation for all involved! Just make sure you think of it openly. NO expectations, no demands and let things evolve as they will. It all can be so painful for all involved that in my experience the best way to approach it is with an open heart and willingness to wait forever. I always thought of it like no one can have too much love. I LOVE my birth daughter's mom, I LOVE my birthdaughter, I love their extended family. We are a forever and ever evolving shape of love...no one HAS to be left out. If they choose to sit it out for awhile, that is fine!

PM me if you want to talk more!

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!

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