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Wanted to let you guys know what was going on with me...(off topic)

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December 7th, 2011, 01:59 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My MIL has always been very healthy (we always joked that she would outlive us)...in October, she went in for hip transplant surgery (not mandatory, but she wanted to be able to move around better), and nothing has been the same since...we visited her on Wednesday (11/16) and she looked bad, but she was so so happy to see us, and we were able to tell her about the baby then as well...thank goodness...

I took my 14 week picture on Tuesday (11/22)...that day we found out that my MIL was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia, but she was getting medication and we thought that she would be ok...then Wednesday (11/23), she had a lot of trouble breathing...went to the ICU, had to have a tube down her throat to help her breathe...we rushed there on Thursday morning...she was critical but stable, just had to wait till the pneumonia cleared up in her lungs...we stayed there till Sunday, they said at the time that she had improved a bit and should be off the ventilator within the next 2 days...Monday, her condition deteriorated - fast...in the morning, her kidneys, by the end of the day, it was all her organs - failing...they rushed her up to the hospital near us to see if anything could be done...but nothing could...by Tuesday morning, we got the call that because she had a do not resuscitate order, if we wanted to say goodbye, we had to go immediately...we rushed there, and within 2 hours she passed away...

It has been incredibly rough around here...Matt and I were very close to her (even though we complained a lot because she could be pretty bossy, but, we have a ton of good memories, and there was absolutely no doubt about how much she loved and cared about us - and especially Kaiden) and have wanted nothing more than to make sure that her wishes were followed...but his brother (and fiancee of like a month - who she had never met) were not...they got here too late (we are in Florida, they are in California) and blamed us for not telling them soon enough along with a host of other things...it has been absolutely horrible - a nightmare...and on top of grieving the loss, dealing with a cranky toddler who wont sleep and can sense the tension, getting no sleep, and handling all the arrangements that have to be made (she was not expecting to go anytime soon either)...we have had to deal with being accused of everything under the sun and been judged and yelled at for trying to follow her wishes...

I have been hysterical for almost the whole week, and what makes it worse is knowing that I'm hurting the baby on top of it...

Because she passed away in a different county then the funeral home, we are unable to get the remains until next week...thank goodness they left, but the nightmare continues for at least 2 more weeks until the funeral is over...this has been the worst few weeks of my life.

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December 7th, 2011, 02:25 PM
Lyz's Avatar
Lyz Lyz is offline
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I have been thinking about you and was considering yesterday messaging you on facebook but I saw someone say their condolences so I wanted to wait. I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. I'm glad she got to know she was having another grandbaby though! As for your BIL.....someone has to blame someone when there is death so it's only natural from them to take it out on you (typically it's their guilt talking, especially since they lived so far away). I hope it gets better for you quickly. The baby is ok, you are the pne suffering because the baby is getting all the nutrients from you they need.

Big HUGS Tonya and I'm always around if you want to talk (message me on facebook though). <3

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December 7th, 2011, 02:50 PM
Jennifer-Jacob's Mommy's Avatar Mega Momma
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hugss sorry girl that you are going thru this. PLease know you are in our thoughts and prayers throughout this horrible ordeal. May she rest in peace and you treasure all the good memories you are able to share with Kaiden and the new baby to be on what a great nanny she was ! HUGS

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December 7th, 2011, 04:28 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was just going to pm you to see how you were doing this evening. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss and all the stress and tension you are going through. So glad you all were able to say goodbye and tell her the wonderful news about baby number 2. I bet that even though she was struggling, that that bit of news gave her a sense of peace. If you need anything at all, please let us know. You have been a rock for so many of us; let us be your rock now. Keeping you, Matt, and Kaiden in my thoughts and prayers.

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December 7th, 2011, 04:46 PM
rmarie9509's Avatar Liam's Mommy
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So sorry my FIL passed away unexpectedly alot like that 2 years ago and although we didnt have the extra stress of sibling trouble, it was horrible and I know how you all must be feeling. Ill be praying for you all.

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December 7th, 2011, 05:05 PM
baby:mama's Avatar Veteran
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I am so sorry for your loss. It is so strange how a death can bring out the worst in people. I hope the next two weeks are quick for you and that you and your family can find some peace. Sending you good thoughts and prayers
Add me on Facebook!

Thanks to Kiliki for my siggy
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December 7th, 2011, 07:15 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry, Hugs!
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December 7th, 2011, 09:10 PM
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KDD KDD is offline
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I'm so sorry for all that you've been through.

Missing our Angel since April 11, 2008
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December 8th, 2011, 09:32 AM
JessMitch's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Tonya I am so sorry you are having to go through all this I'm sure its near impossible, but try as hard as you can not to listen to those downing on you and definitely don't take it to heart. Your BIL is probably just taking out his sadness and anger on you guys because its easier than dealing with the loss of his mother. But you have to keep yourself healthy for that baby bean of yours! Your MIL would NOT be happy if she knew you were neglecting yourself to deal with her arrangements and such. So take care of that baby!!!

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December 8th, 2011, 01:27 PM
Dóchas's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss darling. Please know that you and your family are in my T&P.


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December 8th, 2011, 04:33 PM
Micksbabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Alberta, Canada
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Omg tonya! Big hugs coming your way. How horrible that you are being treated like that, it wasn't your fault and you did everything you could. Prayers for your family in this hard time

Thank you Bokkechick for my gorgeous siggie

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December 8th, 2011, 06:59 PM
JustLiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My MIL watches Des for 2 hours every day and I am becoming very close to her. I can't imagine what you are going through. {{hugs}}

Thank you Vicki!

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December 9th, 2011, 07:59 AM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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December 9th, 2011, 10:25 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for yalls loss. Sometimes these things bring out the worst in others and I really hope they leave y'all alone so that y'all can grieve.
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December 9th, 2011, 06:16 PM
karenwalter's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry Tonya. I know how hard it can be for everyone when there's a loss, especially when there are family issues o top of it. I hope things settle down for you quickly so that you have time to grieve yourself too. Hugs.

. Thanks .hOOdihoo.this. for another beautiful siggy!

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December 18th, 2011, 08:37 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm just now seeing this. I'm soooooo sorry about your MIL and all the stress that followed. I hope things have been starting to look up. I'll be praying for you sweetie.

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