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Anyone else feel like this?

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September 17th, 2007, 08:06 AM
CO Mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Peyton, Colorado
Posts: 7,494
I always lurk in TTC #1, stalking the girls that I know and just watching all the others joining and such. When one of them posts about how sad they are about losing a little one, I want soooo badly to reply and try to comfort them, but I feel like it would be completely insensitive of me considering I'm almost halfway down with my pregnancy. Does anyone else feel like this?
Me: 28 DH: 33
DSD: 8y, DS: 7y, DS2: 2y, DS3: 14 months
Expecting 31 December 2015

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September 17th, 2007, 11:23 AM
Posts: n/a
Yes. It's hard to know what to do. I want to offer them comfort but I am afraid it can seem like "rubbing it in their faces" as well. I never know what the right thing is to do in those situations.
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September 28th, 2007, 05:57 AM
Kimber77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,256
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I completly know what you mean. At first I kept posting and when I was having problems I let them know whats going on but other then that I feel torn rather or not to comfort them. I didn't mind when you girls offered support to me when I was still in there because it gave me hope but I never know how others will feel. I do check in on them daily.

Big brother Gage welcomes Karli Elizabeth 7 lbs 14 oz 20 inches on 8/1/11

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September 28th, 2007, 09:20 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Yeah, I do now. And I did before too. I don't want to post in any loss threads now because my pregnancy is new, and I doubt I'll want to later because of the same reason as you.

Looking at it from the other side, yes, it hurt when I had to post in my DDC that I'd miscarried and all these still-pregnant women were telling me they knew how I felt! If they hadn't worded it that way, though, I don't think it would have hurt as much. I'm not sure the best way to approach it though. Even the ones who didn't say that hurt a little because it seemed kind of hollow, kwim? You're sorry but ... you're still pregnant. It's just a weird situation.

I guess what I would have liked best would have been, a PM later on, saying you noticed when it happened and were sad, but just didn't want to make me feel any worse. I can't speak for everyone but maybe that's a good compromise. Once they've had time to process it a little it might not sting as much and at that point, it's really nice to know someone is still thinking about you.
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