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  #1  
May 5th, 2008, 12:56 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok, so I read this article this morning:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24468808/

And it made me wonder...does anyone really still think this is wrong? I just kind of always assumed there were a couple old fogies out there who might look at it as wrong, but certainly no one really thought there was anything wrong with it these days! Right? It just totally blows my mind that there was actually a LAW against interacial marriage as late as 1965! I mean, thats only 43 years ago!

So....does anyone out there really think it is wrong for an interacial couple to marry and have children? I think the thing that struck me as wrong in this whole thing was that they started "courting" when she was 11 and he was 17!! No THAT I have a problem with, LOL.



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  #2  
May 5th, 2008, 01:04 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I have a son from an interracial relationship & I can attest that there are still a LOT of people, including a lot of young people, like even TEENAGERS, who have a problem with interracial marraiges, children, relationships, etc.

I find it astonishing when people dont realize that there are still people so against it. Its like there are people who are amazed that racism still exists. I Think only white people believe racism is gone lol.

I guess b/c its such a part of my every day life I see it more front & Center. *shrug*

Lala...
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  #3  
May 5th, 2008, 01:07 PM
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Yeah the article really jumped out at me when I got to the courtin part as well, but keeping in mind that in those days it was normal to be wed at a young age and bare children young.
I'm ashamed to say it, but yes, there are people who still feel this way about interacial marriages and dating. I think people need to open their eyes in order for futures to grow, in realizing there is no colour to love, and we should be free to marry who we wish to spend the rest of our lives with, and not worry about hate.

ETA: LaLa, I find it BS that white people think racism is gone. Sorry to say but I have a half Jamaican sister and see her go through it all the time, and an extremely racist father who doesn't believe in racial marriages or couples. I believe racism exists, I am white, but I believe it exists for silly reasons. I also see on shows like Tyra, black/hispanic/white women on there bashing their own culture and other cultures, saying things like 'white women are stealing the good black men' and this crap. It's poor attitudes like this that keep racism alive. Not ignorant thinking on white people.
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  #4  
May 5th, 2008, 01:20 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I certainly didnt say all white people are racist, but I find that in my day to day life that ONLY white people seem to be convinced it doesnt exist. And I have to disagree about why racism exists. I dont think its poor attitudes by minorities such as blacks. It is ignorant to be racist, and racism is nobodys fault but the racists. I cant see taking the blame off the racist saying its not their ignorance that it exists (nor do i think its ignorance on the part of all white people - just ignorance on the part of all racists).

Lala...
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  #5  
May 5th, 2008, 01:29 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I find it astonishing when people dont realize that there are still people so against it. Its like there are people who are amazed that racism still exists. I Think only white people believe racism is gone lol.[/b]
Hmmm.....well, I'm not really sure if I am supposed to be insulted or not.....because honestly it does still "astonish" me when I see that racism still exists. Its just something I can't wrap my brain around. I KNOW racist people, but I just always thought THEY were the minority, not me. I guess in my own little world here I must just be naive. However, I do think that the people that racism affects the most, see it a lot more than people who maybe haven't had it directed towards them so maybe it seems much more prolific to them. I dont think that made any sense as it was coming out of my brain and through my fingertips.........hmm........Ok, like, to ME, I just dont see the racism or hear about it much but then again, I have never been in the line of fire. To someone like LaLa, you probably see it much more than I do, and therefore to you it seems like it is still running rampant because you HAVE ben in the line of fire and it's something you are forced to deal with constantly. Maybe, in reality, it's not as prominent as you think, but much more prominent than I think? I dont know....


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  #6  
May 5th, 2008, 01:35 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ya it wasnt intended as an insult Just more of a "wow".

Maybe I pay more attention to it b/c I'm more in the "line of fire" so to speak... but even when Im out & about at work & such - around people that dont know me or the fact that I have an interracial child - the comments I hear. Not to mention, the comments my son comes home with. Hes light skinned, and a lot of people think hes hispanic. For a long time he was pretty "culturally confused" and had been in the "black kids are bad kids" mindset He also at a young age was learning from other kids that black boys arent supposed to like white girls, and that white boys arent supposed to like black girls - and they couldnt be girlfriend/boyfriend b/c they were too different. He also learned from other kids that black boys were only ever mean to girls. (talk abuot stereotypes).



Having that discussion with him that *he* was part black, was heartbreaking. It crushed him b/c hed been hearing little comments for so long & they just all came out in one day on the way home from school (in KINDERGARTEN mind you).

He hasnt got a relationship with his father or his fathers family, and although he KNOWS what his father looks like, he never "considered" him black. (Hes very black mind you lol). But tis the world of a 5 yr old.

Lala...
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  #7  
May 5th, 2008, 01:36 PM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LaLa, as a white person who has dealt with racism both directly and indirectly, I know racism exists in every culture. I certainly think it's ludicris to think that white people are blind to racism and that white people for the better part, believe it is gone.
I did not say that racism still exists because of poor attitudes from blacks. Racism does still exist for silly reasons. Not liking someone for the colour of their skin is not a justifiable reason, it is stupid. People making comments like I gave an example of above from a Tyra show, is stupid. To me there is no good reason why racism still exists. No one should hate anyone because of the colour of their skin, or stereotypes. But they do still exist, and an attitude like 'white people are the only race that thinks racism is gone' contributes to it. That is a stereotype.
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  #8  
May 5th, 2008, 01:43 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ya it wasnt intended as an insult Just more of a "wow".

Maybe I pay more attention to it b/c I'm more in the "line of fire" so to speak... but even when Im out & about at work & such - around people that dont know me or the fact that I have an interracial child - the comments I hear. Not to mention, the comments my son comes home with. Hes light skinned, and a lot of people think hes hispanic. For a long time he was pretty "culturally confused" and had been in the "black kids are bad kids" mindset He also at a young age was learning from other kids that black boys arent supposed to like white girls, and that white boys arent supposed to like black girls - and they couldnt be girlfriend/boyfriend b/c they were too different. He also learned from other kids that black boys were only ever mean to girls. (talk abuot stereotypes).



Having that discussion with him that *he* was part black, was heartbreaking. It crushed him b/c hed been hearing little comments for so long & they just all came out in one day on the way home from school (in KINDERGARTEN mind you).

He hasnt got a relationship with his father or his fathers family, and although he KNOWS what his father looks like, he never "considered" him black. (Hes very black mind you lol). But tis the world of a 5 yr old.

Lala...[/b]

That makes ME want to cry, I can't imagine how heartbreaking it has been for you as his mother. It just totally amazes me how cruel people can be.


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  #9  
May 5th, 2008, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Ok, so I read this article this morning:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24468808/

And it made me wonder...does anyone really still think this is wrong? I just kind of always assumed there were a couple old fogies out there who might look at it as wrong, but certainly no one really thought there was anything wrong with it these days! Right? It just totally blows my mind that there was actually a LAW against interacial marriage as late as 1965! I mean, thats only 43 years ago!

So....does anyone out there really think it is wrong for an interacial couple to marry and have children? I think the thing that struck me as wrong in this whole thing was that they started "courting" when she was 11 and he was 17!! No THAT I have a problem with, LOL.



Casey[/b]
FYI--Alabama had a law against interracial marriage until the year 2000. It wasn't enforced, of course, but it was still on the books.
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  #10  
May 5th, 2008, 01:49 PM
irishxrose
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Racism most definetely still exists. I am engaged to a Hispanic man. When I was pregnant and my DF and I would go out, I would hear all sorts of racist comments, and get plenty of glares. It was ridiculous. I don't get them much anymore, although I have had someone ask me if my DF is the father of my son, because Joshua is pale with blonde hair and Jason's not (which is a ridiculous comment since some Hispanics actually have blonde hair and blue eyes!!). It gets VERY irritating.

Lala, I know exactly what you mean. It sucks that there are still those stereotypes and mindsets out there. It makes me sad.
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  #11  
May 5th, 2008, 01:54 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Ok, so I read this article this morning:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24468808/

And it made me wonder...does anyone really still think this is wrong? I just kind of always assumed there were a couple old fogies out there who might look at it as wrong, but certainly no one really thought there was anything wrong with it these days! Right? It just totally blows my mind that there was actually a LAW against interacial marriage as late as 1965! I mean, thats only 43 years ago!

So....does anyone out there really think it is wrong for an interacial couple to marry and have children? I think the thing that struck me as wrong in this whole thing was that they started "courting" when she was 11 and he was 17!! No THAT I have a problem with, LOL.



Casey[/b]
FYI--Alabama had a law against interracial marriage until the year 2000. It wasn't enforced, of course, but it was still on the books.
[/b]

**I'd like to welcome you to my bubble...as you see there is no crime, discimination, or even hurt feelings...it's a perfect little world with perfect little me living a perfect little life...this is our national symbol: *****
LMAO......
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  #12  
May 5th, 2008, 02:09 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I believe racism still exists, it's still being ingrained into the minds of adults and children alike even today.

I grew up in an area where there may have been 5 black people TOTAL, and they were all in one family. There weren't any Hispanics, but there were several Asians (high international adoption rate), it was a huge culture shock when a little girl (I think she was 7) moved into the house at the top of my hill, and she was black. Didn't bother me, my parents kept their racial comments to themselves when I was growing up (but they loved her) and I listened to my teachers, but my 7 year old cousin, couldn't comprehend why I could talk to "the girl who needed a bath". Even at 9, I was saddened.

Even today at 24 I will admit I can be prone to being racist, even tho I don't mean to be. I don't like the "ghetto black" (that's the way it's advertized in stores too... ) way of dressing, it frightens me. It doesn't matter if the person is white, black or green, I'm automatically afraid of that person. The media, and past incidents, have made us "all" a little bit racist. I have black, white, hispanic, asian friends, and I love them all the same. When I was in university a girl from my home town roomed with me in my dorm room and the girls on my floor wanted to know where she was from. I responded with our home town name.. not taking into account she's asian and adopted... I just don't see her as asian, the same as I don't see the girl mentioned above as black. They're friends, people I've known my entire life.

I worked for Sprint (phone rep), and I absolutely loved how I could be as objective as possible on the phone with a woman, but as soon as she didn't get her way she'd pull the race card. "You pale little %^&^%$, you'd give it to some white ^&&&^& but because I'm black you're *&*&*&* with me!" From experience many black women we'd deal with would ask is if we were white or black, and hang up if we denied to comment (my favorite line was "I'm sorry Ma'am, I don't see how that will help you with your reason for calling") or said white. For some reason, I didn't have the same experiences with men, they didn't seem to care (the men cared about where my call center was located, because they didn't want to speak to someone in India).

I'm all for interracial marriages. If you love someone, you don't love them for the color of their skin, you love them for what they look like inside. And if I started cutting people open, guess what.. we all look the same! (yes being smart @ssed). I could not personally see me having one, but that's because I have yet to find a person of an opposite race that I would consider having a relationship with, and I've seen how hard it is for children of interracial marriages, and I don't think I would want to put my child through that. But I won't rule out one happening in the future, I like to take things one day at a time.
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  #13  
May 5th, 2008, 02:22 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
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LaLa, as a white person who has dealt with racism both directly and indirectly, I know racism exists in every culture. I certainly think it's ludicris to think that white people are blind to racism and that white people for the better part, believe it is gone.[/b]
Not ludicrous at all. (Ludicris is a rapper)
Perception=reality.
Because white people generally do not experience racism in our everyday lives, we perceive that it does not exist. You will never ever meet a black person who will tell you that racism does not exist. They cannot deny it because it is a facet of their everyday lives. Not so with white people. And of course I am not trying to say that white people never experience racism, just no where near the extent that other races do.
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  #14  
May 5th, 2008, 02:29 PM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No Torrie, I will agree that white people may not see racism hands on or be a direct hit of it nearly as much as other races, but that does not give anyone the right to say, imply or 'joke' (how anyone can put a LOL at the end of it...beyond me) "think only white people believe racism is gone lol" And to top it off, sit there and preach about stereotypes and rasicm, when that's a stereotypical comment and racist as well. We all know racism still exists, even though some of us will never ever experience it at all. Sorry, maybe I come from an area is different from where LaLa comes from, I deffinately do not believe that statement at all, and find it offensive that anyone can say that with an LOL at the end on top of it.
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  #15  
May 5th, 2008, 02:59 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think youre still somehow twisting what I said. There is a difference in "White people think racism doesnt exist" and "only white people think racism doesnt exist".

Kind of like the difference in "red headed kids like lollipops" vs. "only red headed kids like lollipops". The latter doesnt mean that ALL read headed kids like lollipops, just as the later statement re: whites & racism doesnt mean that all whites think racism doesnt exist.

There are whites that dont think racism exists & whites that do think racism exists. I have yet to meet a black person (though I'm sure one could argue they exist) that will claim racism doesnt exist.

But whatever, this will probably be lost in translation as well lol and is irrelevant to the original topic anyways lol... so lets proceed!

Lala...
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  #16  
May 5th, 2008, 03:18 PM
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I think when most white people express the sentiment that racism doesn't exist anymore, they mean that government-mandated racism doesn't exist anymore. You can't change what is in people's hearts and minds overnight. I think that most people of all races would agree that while racism still exists on an individual level, things have improved sigificantly from the days of rampant lynchings and beatings and visits in the night from men wearing white sheets. It's still not perfect, but it took a long time to build the rift and it will take a long time for it to heal.

Just because someone is white doesn't mean that they have never experienced racism. One incident (of many many that I have experienced) that really stands out in my mind--during a flu vaccine shortage I went to the county health clinic to get a flu shot (please no lectures about the flu vaccine). Believe me, as long as I have two nickels to rub together I will NEVER go to the county clinic again! I went in with my two kids and sat down. A few minutes later a black guy leaned over to his DW/GF/SO and said in a regular speaking voice "I didn't know that they let whitey come here." I pretended like I didn't hear him, and went about my business. I didn't want to be featured on the 6 o'clock news as a party in a "racial incident at the county clinic" because if I had had the unmitigated gall to respond, then I would look like the big racist in the whole thing. But it did remind me that there are racists EVERYWHERE.
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  #17  
May 5th, 2008, 03:49 PM
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I think when most white people express the sentiment that racism doesn't exist anymore, they mean that government-mandated racism doesn't exist anymore. You can't change what is in people's hearts and minds overnight. I think that most people of all races would agree that while racism still exists on an individual level, things have improved sigificantly from the days of rampant lynchings and beatings and visits in the night from men wearing white sheets. It's still not perfect, but it took a long time to build the rift and it will take a long time for it to heal.[/b]
You pretty much summed up what I was thinking. I guess I fall into that category. I know racism still exists, but I do have a hard time comprehending that people I would look at and see as a rational adult can still harbor feelings of racism. When I think of racists I think of rednecks and old farts. There are levels of racism. Someone can be in agreement that "separate but equal" was wrong, but still have a problem with interracial marriage. I can't comprehend how you could have a problem with it and I don't think I'll ever understand it, but I do know that it exists.
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  #18  
May 5th, 2008, 04:32 PM
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I agree with LaLa in the generalized sense. I also know what she means with the only white people vs all white people.

If I found a black/hispanic/asian person who thought racism in some aspect didnt exist, they live a VERY sheltered life. I think sometimes some white people shelter THEMSELVES to what is really going on. It is 1000% better than it WAS, but its got a long way to go. I get so upset sometimes though cause there ARE some minorities who encourage that racist thought. You only have to go to the areas of town that are strongly some minority, and you will see there are some people who FEED into the steriotypes. Its sad, and its a cycle that will be nearly impossible to fix on a universal scale cause people will ALWAYS judge. It all starts with each person trying to not THEMSELVES be dragged into that line of thought.

I think its sad that people dont agree with interracial marriage. Its easy to tell if someone is black or mexican, or asian and is marrying someone who isnt, but its NOT easy to tell if someone is French marrying someone who is English. Same idea though.

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  #19  
May 5th, 2008, 04:47 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Its easy to tell if someone is black or mexican, or asian and is marrying someone who isnt, but its NOT easy to tell if someone is French marrying someone who is English. Same idea though.[/b]
That's very very true. In fact in Canada (or at least around here), you'll see a lot of "you're marrying a frog?" Meaning someone who's English speaking is marrying someone who's French speaking (usually reserved for someone from Quebec rather than someone from New Brunswick or Acadian NS). I never really thought about the fact that it is racist.

I don't think it should matter what color your skin is, or what language you speak.. if you love each other, do what's right for you.
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  #20  
May 5th, 2008, 10:24 PM
Just Nana's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I personally dont care if you are green with purple stripes marry who you want to.
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