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"Sweetie,"


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  #1  
May 15th, 2008, 12:20 PM
Gracey and Evan's Ma
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Is calling someone "sweetie," showing disrespect?

Obama apologizes to a reporter for calling her "sweetie," and says that he meant "no disrespect."


I know it wasnt the main point for his apology, but I have read that many were up in arms about it. Around here (in the South), everyone is "sweetie," "baby," "hunni," "sugar," etc... I just cant imagine being offended by being called that by anyone!

thoughts?
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  #2  
May 15th, 2008, 12:31 PM
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I wouldn't say it's universally offensive, but it is one of those things that drive me nuts. With the obvious exceptions of parents, DH, and very close friends, anyone else using "pet names" for me -- sweetie, honey, dearie, etc -- is displaying way more familiarity than I'm comfortable with. I have a name -- that's what you should call me.

Also, I think that a lot of people have a habit of using those names (yes, even on message boards like this) in a very condescending way... as if you're patting the other person on the head and smirking about how inexperienced and naive they are.

As far as Obama goes... I didn't see the interview; I have no idea how he said it; but I would find it hard to imagine that any candidate speaking to a reporter would intentionally be disrespectful or condescending, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
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  #3  
May 15th, 2008, 12:34 PM
Gracey and Evan's Ma
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i think there is a video on the linked page.

the reporter asked a question and he replies with "Just a second sweetie....." (or maybe it was "just a minute sweetie" or " hold on a second sweetie".. whatever, you get the gist.)

(apology for one handed typing.. feeding baby)
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  #4  
May 15th, 2008, 12:38 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont find it offensive....then again I'd probably be flattered if he'd called me sweetie. HAHA. I had the privlege of being at a town hall meeting he held in our town recently and if I remember right, he called a few women that while taking their questions, or sweetheart, something to that effect. I just kind of thought it was the way he talked and with his demeanor it just kind of fit....like he was just the kind of person that was comfortable with other people and refered to them in that manner. I dont think he was being condescending or rude, I think it's just the way he talks.


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  #5  
May 15th, 2008, 12:42 PM
Just Nana's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I dont have a problem with another female calling me sweetie etc. You know as on here when you post something and they respond back oh sweetie it will be ok something to that effect or in real life. I do have a problem with another man saying that to me that right I reserve to my DH. Is it disrespect I dont reallythink so I just know that it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I know we have traveled in the South and I know what you mean.
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  #6  
May 15th, 2008, 12:45 PM
Gracey and Evan's Ma
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I think most that expressed that they were appalled by him using the word, were very anti-obama ppl. Personally, *dont shoot* Im a McCain girl.. but even *I* wouldnt get offended if he called me sweetie. Maybe they view him as the enemy? If an enemy called me sweetie, I suppose I might take it as though they were trying to be all holier than thou.. or you know, kill me with kindness. But someone who I dont know personally, nope, not going to take offense. (odd, because most of the negative comments were ppl saying that you shouldnt call someone sweetie UNLESS you know them personally)
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  #7  
May 15th, 2008, 12:48 PM
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I don't find it offensive in itself, but it can be used in an offensive context. Sometimes in a heated debate someone will use it to dismiss what someone else is saying (in a context almost like they're addressing a child.) Just using it as a conversational filler or as name substitute like Obama did is not offensive to me. (Completely aside from the point of this post---I'm glad I finally found something that Obama said that DIDN'T offend me!!)
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  #8  
May 15th, 2008, 01:47 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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I don't think Obama said it in an offensive manner.

I do hate when other people call me "sweetie" though. It's just weird. I was at Pet Smart the other day, and the cashier was like, "You can put your stuff up here, sweetie." (meaning the counter). Weird weird weird...you don't know me, why are you calling me something my husband does when he's trying to put the moves on me? lol
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  #9  
May 15th, 2008, 02:17 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
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Quote:
I wouldn't say it's universally offensive, but it is one of those things that drive me nuts. With the obvious exceptions of parents, DH, and very close friends, anyone else using "pet names" for me -- sweetie, honey, dearie, etc -- is displaying way more familiarity than I'm comfortable with. I have a name -- that's what you should call me.[/b]
Don't get excited, sweetie.













































*runs*

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  #10  
May 15th, 2008, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
I wouldn't say it's universally offensive, but it is one of those things that drive me nuts. With the obvious exceptions of parents, DH, and very close friends, anyone else using "pet names" for me -- sweetie, honey, dearie, etc -- is displaying way more familiarity than I'm comfortable with. I have a name -- that's what you should call me.[/b]
Don't get excited, sweetie.
*runs*
[/b]
Yeah, you'd better run!
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  #11  
May 15th, 2008, 03:56 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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I wouldn't be offended by it. I understand how someone might not think its appropriate. But I think they were just looking for something to pick on him about. I guess thats the best they could come up with. I'm not an "Obama" fan - but im not not a fan, I just don't have a preference at this time.
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  #12  
May 15th, 2008, 05:01 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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It bothers me when a straight older man calls me sweetie. I have a lot of gay friends, and I'm just used to it coming from them.

It doesn't bother me when it's coming form another woman, as long as she's not using it in a sarcastic tone. That does bug me.

I use sweetie and hun a lot on here, and I would never ever ever use it in a context that wasn't meant to be consoling. I'm more likely to use your name if I want to be a brat
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  #13  
May 15th, 2008, 07:43 PM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is a wee bit unrelated, but it makes me laugh as it relates to this debate: the other night at work, I slipped up and called my female supervisor "babe". Luckily, we have a fairly relaxed work environment and we both got a laugh out of it. (It still makes me giggle, in fact!)

Honestly, as far as the Obama thing goes, it sounds like the reporter is just looking for something to slam. Lighten up, really. (And I'm not even an Obama fan!)
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  #14  
May 15th, 2008, 08:22 PM
whatever
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I think it depends on how they are saying it, I doubt he meant it in a misogynistic or derogatory way.
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  #15  
May 15th, 2008, 08:25 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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i dont think thats disrespectful at all.
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  #16  
May 15th, 2008, 08:32 PM
whatever
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i dont think thats disrespectful at all.[/b]
Well I have seen some women debate with each other and usually when they start pulling out "sweetie" I think they're trying to be disrespectful.
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  #17  
May 15th, 2008, 08:33 PM
Mia&Mattea'sMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just watched the video I don't believe the way he said was offensive at all. I believe it can be offensive depending on how it was said though.
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  #18  
May 15th, 2008, 09:23 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
i dont think thats disrespectful at all.[/b]
Well I have seen some women debate with each other and usually when they start pulling out "sweetie" I think they're trying to be disrespectful.
[/b]

In my area of the South, if "Honey" comes out of your mouth when you are angry, its MUCH worse than sweetie! Honey in a debate means the crap is about to hit the fan

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  #19  
May 15th, 2008, 09:44 PM
SammyNowell
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I don't find it offensive at all.
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  #20  
May 15th, 2008, 11:57 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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Quote:
Quote:
i dont think thats disrespectful at all.[/b]
Well I have seen some women debate with each other and usually when they start pulling out "sweetie" I think they're trying to be disrespectful.
[/b]

i do agree with you about this, ive seen girls do this a lot LOL
they think there tough sh*t.
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