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  #1  
June 2nd, 2008, 11:41 AM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Most of us who have been around the debate boards know better than to bring our personal lives into the debates. However, for those that do, is it okay to call someone out on their inconsistancies?
For example -
Someone says that they hate gay people, however, in the sex board this same person said they had a homosexual experience.
OR
Someone says that they would never have multiple children with multiple men yet you know from TTC board that their 14 kids are from 14 different men.

So, should you call these people out on this board or let is slide?
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  #2  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:00 PM
Tiffers's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If they're putting someone else down for the same decisions they make, then heck ya I'd call them on it.
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  #3  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:06 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
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Well, I think it depends on how personal and potentially traumatic the information might be.
The example about 14 different kids with 14 different men would be fair game to me, however, the person saying they hate gay people may be saying that to compensate for trauma from a homosexual experience they are having a hard time coming to terms with. (Not because homosexual experiences are inherently traumatic, but because of society's stigma.)
So I wouldn't bring it up in that case.
I guess my answer is dependent on the individual situation and the subject discussed.
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  #4  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:08 PM
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It would really depend on the situation, and how I came by the knowledge. But generally speaking, yes, I'd call them on it because I abhor hypocrisy. You'd have to keep in mind though that at that point it would become really personal and ugly and would it really be worth it?
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  #5  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:25 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Call it out. You can seriously think you can post messages on a board, no matter what thread they are posted in, and not expect others to read them and use them in debates, ESPECIALLY if they are in opposition to what you are stating currently.
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  #6  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:26 PM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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I think that if they use themselves as an example they should be held accountable for it. They made the choice to put themselves out there.
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  #7  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:26 PM
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Any arguement worth arguing can be argued on its own merits without bringing anything personal into the debate.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Weird Al's song "Jerry Springer")</div>
Quote:
Guest :] Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
[Gal Guest :] Oh? Well, which one?
[Guy Guest :] All of them
[Gal Guest :] Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
[Guy Guest :] Yah? Well, well me too!
[Gal Guest :] Oh!
[Guy Guest :] And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
[Gal Guest :] Woofie, you b-tch!
[Gal Guest :] Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
[Guy Guest :] That goat doesn't love you![/b]
Any one of these things can be argued as wrong on an absolute level and could be argued as such with no need to mention any of the other things.

But it's a free country, my opinion is that one can go that way, I just don't see it as preferable or necessary.

I'd also add that the guidelines for this debate forum in particular discourage personal attacks.
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  #8  
June 2nd, 2008, 12:59 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sure. Using someone's own specific words to point out how incredibly hypocritical they are is an attack. I can totally see how posting someone's own words can be attacking them

It also makes the argument of the other person, thus the debate between people incomplete, dishonorable and fallacious
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  #9  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:13 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't have a problem with questioning someone on the board on their inconsistencies.
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  #10  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:28 PM
LaLaRose3's Avatar My brand of heroin.
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I think it depends on the circumstance, really. I wouldn't go searching in a support board for something they said. I think thats going a little too far. Maybe I am mistaken, but dredging up posts for use in a debate is frowned upon, is it not?
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  #11  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:45 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I"ve certainly done it, ESPECIALLY when I know the entire argument someone is building about themselves in the debate is completely false (hence they also can be a troll when there are many inconsistencies). You'd never even know how many trolls are discovered just because of the debate boards that havent been pointed out anywhere else

I know in the past we ALL dredged up old debates and old posts when it calls for it. If you know someone is flat out lying, the only way to prove it is with their own words
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  #12  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:49 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think it depends on the circumstance, really. I wouldn't go searching in a support board for something they said. I think thats going a little too far. Maybe I am mistaken, but dredging up posts for use in a debate is frowned upon, is it not?[/b]
I don't know as anyone would go searching just for the fun of it but in a debate where someone might say "I'm against xyz" , it might ring a bell with someone else that they saw them say something totally opposite in another forum. I don't see a problem with looking for it and questioning the person on it.
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  #13  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:53 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I think it depends on the circumstance, really. I wouldn't go searching in a support board for something they said. I think thats going a little too far. Maybe I am mistaken, but dredging up posts for use in a debate is frowned upon, is it not?[/b]
I'd say that it's in poor taste. However, many of us here know each other from other boards, so we may already know info about that person that conflicts with what they have recently posted in a debate.

I think it's fine to bring up any inconsistencies, as long as it's done with a degree of respect. A simple choice of words can be the difference between a personal attack and an impersonal debate. Also, the person being questioned should be respected if they change their opinions. Everyone changes to some degree or another, whether it's from personal experience or a simple broadening viewpoint.

Quote:
I"ve certainly done it, ESPECIALLY when I know the entire argument someone is building about themselves in the debate is completely false (hence they also can be a troll when there are many inconsistencies). You'd never even know how many trolls are discovered just because of the debate boards that havent been pointed out anywhere else

I know in the past we ALL dredged up old debates and old posts when it calls for it. If you know someone is flat out lying, the only way to prove it is with their own words[/b]
lol! Not me! I don't even know how anyone can have the time to do that! I have to stay out of more debates than I wanna because I don't have time to look up sources. B)
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  #14  
June 2nd, 2008, 01:57 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Change of opinion, yes. Thats completely normal and fine. Thats, IMO, the point of debates - to educate and process new ways of seeing things

To lie however is another
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  #15  
June 2nd, 2008, 02:20 PM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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As others have said, I guess it depends on the situation and the thread.

I agree, people can have a change in opinion due to having read things or learned things along the way, but if it's a simple matter of outright lying, ie. two different threads in different parts of the board having completely opposite statements, then yes, I think it's fair to point that out.

I guess it also depends on the individual's M.O. ... if they are being very aggrssive and attacking on their viewpoints, then I'd say they're fair game for an aggressive volley in return. But if someone is just putting in two cents, and it's not really affecting the thread or derailing things, then it's probably not really worth the effort of tracking down old stuff.
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  #16  
June 2nd, 2008, 07:31 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I think if the person didn't bring up their personal life in their debate response no one else has the right to either. I also don't think anything that was said on a private area of a board should be brought up for everyone to see. For instance if someone admitted in the love/sex forum that they had a homosexual experience I wouldn't think it was right for someone to bring that up on the debate board.
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  #17  
June 2nd, 2008, 07:36 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So then by that accord, on ANY other thread on JM, we should never ever reference something said by that person in the past? If they didnt bring it up, then neither can we. Never reference pregnancy, birth, lifestyle, quote, loss of someone, statement, age, job... I can keep going. If its not in THAT thread, then we can't bring it up either? Ridiculous! it doesnt apply to any other section of JM or for life in that matter!
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  #18  
June 2nd, 2008, 07:53 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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#1, anyone using absolutes is just asking for trouble "I would NEVER." or "I ALWAYS." Fair game if someone dredges up an old thread disputing said statement.

#2, it is completely acceptable for someone to change their opinion, and a quote from 2 years ago that opposes a current opinion should most likely be disregarded. For example, there may be anti-circ moms who have a circumsized son, and have since been converted to the non-circing "side."

#3, Most moms on this board who have changed their opinion are quite honest about it, "I used to be of the opinion that xxxxx, but upon reading (study) and (study), I've since realized that I was wrong." It would be pointless for someone to go dredge up past quotes from this person that contradict their current opinion/stance.

#4, in general if someone brings their personal life and situation into a debate, they open themselves up to having their personal life debated. If you don't want your personal situation debated, don't bring it up.
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  #19  
June 2nd, 2008, 09:44 PM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm confused. Was the OP a hypothetical question or does it refer to some back history that *some* of us must be unaware of or someone specific??

I thought it was a genuine hypothetical question, but perhaps not ...
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  #20  
June 2nd, 2008, 09:50 PM
Just Nana's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I'm confused. Was the OP a hypothetical question or does it refer to some back history that *some* of us must be unaware of or someone specific??

I thought it was a genuine hypothetical question, but perhaps not ...[/b]

I am confused also
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