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  #1  
June 24th, 2008, 10:42 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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A woman lies about it being her fertile time of the month to her DH so he'll have unprotected sex with her. She wants to conceive now but he doesn't because of financial reasons. He knows that within about a year they will be in a much better situation and he wants to wait until then.

So she gets pregnant and he isn't all too thrilled.


Do you think it was his responsibility to wear a condom anyway even though he was told she wasn't ovulating?


Do you think what she did was selfish/wrong?


Does he have the right to be angry?
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  #2  
June 24th, 2008, 10:48 AM
MamaBx3
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A woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle. . She doesn't have to be ovulating.

He has every right to be mad -- but ultimately it's his own fault anyways.. he should have known to use protection.
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  #3  
June 24th, 2008, 10:57 AM
Jessikaylee22's Avatar Super Mommy
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Do you think it was his responsibility to wear a condom anyway even though he was told she wasn't ovulating?

I almost always say that it is the mans responsibililty to wear a condom. EVEN if a woman says that she is on the pill, he still needs to protect himself just in case. However since this is his wife (who he obviously trusts) that changes things a little bit. I'm kind of undecided on this one.

Do you think what she did was selfish/wrong?

Yes the fact that she outwardly lied to him to get pregnant is extremely selfish and wrong.

Does he have the right to be angry?

Of course he has a right to be angry since he was lied to/tricked. However only to an extent since the "birth control" they were using isn't as effective as other methods.
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  #4  
June 24th, 2008, 11:06 AM
Just Nana's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you think it was his responsibility to wear a condom anyway even though he was told she wasn't ovulating? It was his wife he thought he could trust her but I think in the future he should always wear his rain coat.


Do you think what she did was selfish/wrong? Yes I do


Does he have the right to be angry? Yes I think he has every right to be angry yes their are accidents with a condom but she did this on purpose had he known she might be ovulating I am sure he would have worn it. If she had gotten preggo while he was wearing the condom then no he would have no right to be mad.
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  #5  
June 24th, 2008, 11:09 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
A woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle. . She doesn't have to be ovulating.

He has every right to be mad -- but ultimately it's his own fault anyways.. he should have known to use protection.[/b]
Of course but obviously chances are increased during ovulation. She knew she was ovulating and wasn't truthful about it.
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  #6  
June 24th, 2008, 11:09 AM
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It was very wrong of her to do. Her baby is being brought into this world based on a lie. That is not ok. DH really does have the right to be angry. If they are using NFP as a method of birth control, and she is nowhere near her ovulation time, they would have been fine. She knew she was ovulating and did the deed anyways. What she did was very selfish and she should be ashamed of herself.
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  #7  
June 24th, 2008, 11:12 AM
Julka
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A woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle. . She doesn't have to be ovulating.[/b]
A woman cannot get pregnant at any time during her cycle. The egg and sperm both live a certain amount of time before they "die". There is an infertile part during a cycle as well. If you chart, you can track it down.

I think conceiving a child should be a mutual decision that has been discussed by both partners. I don't think I'd ever want to be in a relationship with someone who would try to conceal something like this, or lie about such a serious matter.
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  #8  
June 24th, 2008, 11:15 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
Quote:
A woman can get pregnant at any point during her cycle. . She doesn't have to be ovulating.[/b]
A woman cannot get pregnant at any time during her cycle. The egg and sperm both live a certain amount of time before they "die". There is an infertile part during a cycle as well. If you chart, you can track it down.

I think conceiving a child should be a mutual decision that has been discussed by both partners. I don't think I'd ever want to be in a relationship with someone who would try to conceal something like this, or lie about such a serious matter.
[/b]

I'm wondering if maybe she meant that you can't always know for sure when in your cycle you will get pregnant. My cycles are completely crazy. Sometimes they are 30 days sometimes 40 other times they've been as long as 90. I didn't always know exactly when I'd be ovulating.
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  #9  
June 24th, 2008, 11:57 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm wondering if maybe she meant that you can't always know for sure when in your cycle you will get pregnant. My cycles are completely crazy. Sometimes they are 30 days sometimes 40 other times they've been as long as 90. I didn't always know exactly when I'd be ovulating.[/b]

If you're evaluating your signs of fertility daily, you can know for sure on any given day whether you are potentially fertile or not - no matter how long the overall cycle ends up being. But unless you're doing that (and have training to know what it all means), then it's just a guessing game.
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  #10  
June 24th, 2008, 12:18 PM
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IF the couple has agreed together that they are using NFP as their form of birth control, then he would have no reason or need to wear a condom. Should he also be tracking her cycle along with her and be familiar with her chart? Yes. But ultimately, in a marriage, he should be able to trust her when she states that she is in her infertile period.

What she did was absolutely wrong, and he has every right to be angry. BUT, he could have prevented this by tracking her cycle along with her and taking a more proactive part in their chosen birth control method.
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  #11  
June 24th, 2008, 12:28 PM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Do you think it was his responsibility to wear a condom anyway even though he was told she wasn't ovulating? If they are married, no. He should be able to trust his wife, right?


Do you think what she did was selfish/wrong? Yes, extremely


Does he have the right to be angry? Yes ... considering she was deceitful.
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  #12  
June 24th, 2008, 12:32 PM
irishxrose
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IF the couple has agreed together that they are using NFP as their form of birth control, then he would have no reason or need to wear a condom. Should he also be tracking her cycle along with her and be familiar with her chart? Yes. But ultimately, in a marriage, he should be able to trust her when she states that she is in her infertile period.

What she did was absolutely wrong, and he has every right to be angry. BUT, he could have prevented this by tracking her cycle along with her and taking a more proactive part in their chosen birth control method.[/b]
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  #13  
June 24th, 2008, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
IF the couple has agreed together that they are using NFP as their form of birth control, then he would have no reason or need to wear a condom. Should he also be tracking her cycle along with her and be familiar with her chart? Yes. But ultimately, in a marriage, he should be able to trust her when she states that she is in her infertile period.

What she did was absolutely wrong, and he has every right to be angry. BUT, he could have prevented this by tracking her cycle along with her and taking a more proactive part in their chosen birth control method.[/b]
I agree completely. Although she could still have lied even if he was proactive. Aside from taking her temperature himself or searching her physically for signs of ovulation, he would still be taking her word that the charts and notes she takes are indeed correct.
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  #14  
June 24th, 2008, 01:40 PM
LaLaRose3's Avatar My brand of heroin.
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Quote:
IF the couple has agreed together that they are using NFP as their form of birth control, then he would have no reason or need to wear a condom. Should he also be tracking her cycle along with her and be familiar with her chart? Yes. But ultimately, in a marriage, he should be able to trust her when she states that she is in her infertile period.

What she did was absolutely wrong, and he has every right to be angry. BUT, he could have prevented this by tracking her cycle along with her and taking a more proactive part in their chosen birth control method.[/b]
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  #15  
June 24th, 2008, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm wondering if maybe she meant that you can't always know for sure when in your cycle you will get pregnant. My cycles are completely crazy. Sometimes they are 30 days sometimes 40 other times they've been as long as 90. I didn't always know exactly when I'd be ovulating.[/b]

If you're evaluating your signs of fertility daily, you can know for sure on any given day whether you are potentially fertile or not - no matter how long the overall cycle ends up being. But unless you're doing that (and have training to know what it all means), then it's just a guessing game.
[/b]

LOL the there are people like me who know EXACTLY when they ovulated, abstained and still got pregnant.. because I ovulated twice. The second time with no signs.

Anyway, I think he does have a right to be irriated but Esp in NFP it is both parties who are responsible. NOt saying thats what they were using.
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  #16  
June 24th, 2008, 01:45 PM
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I agree with the other posters on this completely.
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  #17  
June 24th, 2008, 01:47 PM
MamaBx3
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What I meant was , sperm can live for 5-7 days inside a woman. So even if she wasn't ovulating at the time of ejaculation, she can still get pregnant.

I'm not saying it's the right thing for her to do -- But I think that it's also the man's responsibility to know about conception
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  #18  
June 24th, 2008, 01:56 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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LOL the there are people like me who know EXACTLY when they ovulated, abstained and still got pregnant.. because I ovulated twice. The second time with no signs.[/b]
What makes you think you ovulated twice? When double ovulation occurs, the second ova is released within 24 hours of the first one - it's physiologically impossible for ovulation to occur again outside of that window. There is no scientific evidence to prove that multiple ovulation is even possible. All studies on the matter have revealed that the process of ovulation can only occur once per cycle - although more than one ova can be released at that time.

Conception can occur from intercourse that occurs any time cervical mucus is present in the week prior to ovulation. The mucus keeps sperm cells alive up to 5 days, or even as long as 7 in some rare cases. Once ovulation is confirmed by mucus or temps, the 3 days afterwards are also considered fertile - intercourse at that time can result in conception because of the possibility of double ovulation occurring within 24 hours of the first one, and then the 24 hour life span of the second egg released.

Some women do ovulate without signs though (no cervical mucus). But when this happens, conception is not possible because sperm cells cannot survive in the acidic environment of the vagina long enough for conception to occur. The absence of cervical mucus at the time of ovulation is a condition of infertility because sperm cells require it in order to survive. You can only know about those symptom less ovulations through daily blood draws and ultrasounds though.
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  #19  
June 24th, 2008, 02:22 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
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Do you think it was his responsibility to wear a condom anyway even though he was told she wasn't ovulating? Yes.


Do you think what she did was selfish/wrong? Yes.


Does he have the right to be angry? Well, sure, but when it comes down to it, he needed to wear that condom if he wanted to be sure.


OK, now I'll actually read the thread.

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  #20  
June 24th, 2008, 11:34 PM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Shauna said everything i woudl have lol. You can ovulate at any time, and get pg when yorue not ovulating, but you cannot get pregnatn when you are not fertile.

In a marraige, i dont think any man would have a "responsibility" to be so involved with her chart with NFP as the determined bc method (which is as effective as any method when used properly, just the same as othe rmethods only being effective when used properly) that he would somehow lose his say so.

Simply put - if he wants to wait, it shouldnt really matter how involved he is - she should respect that for multiple reasons. They both have an obligation to be honest, and being decietful is never excusable.

He would have every right to be angry.

Sad thing is - this happens all the time.

Lala...
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