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Are there really more abusers now?


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  #1  
July 8th, 2008, 12:00 PM
LorieB's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 699
Christina's thread got me thinking about whether or not there are more abusers today than in the past. We hear so many more stories now but is that only because more victims come forward and we have access to more media to hear about these stories? Or are there just that many more abusers out there?

As I mentioned in the other thread, I often watch "Intervention" and I would guess about 90% of the addicts featured suffered from at least one form of abuse. And these addicts are in their 20s, 30s, 40s so we are talking several years ago. And then I think about women in and around my grandmother's age, several of whom were abused by their spouses but never said anything as they didn't want to break up the home. Today's society is a lot less tolerant of abuse so we tend to hear more about stories but then I factor in that there are that many more victims who haven't spoken up yet. Also, it seems as though the acts we hear about in the news seem to be that much worse and vile.

Do you think there is more abuse now or is it just that we hear/read about it now that we have media access?
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  #2  
July 8th, 2008, 12:23 PM
eleanor rigby's Avatar Supreme overlord dictator
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Funny, I was just talking to my mom about this. I think the rate of abuse is pretty consistent (I have no stats to back me up though LOL) but more victims have come forward. I also think that our attitude toward abuse has changed, whereas in the past it was "just something that happens" we now don't have that kind of attitude. I could be totally off my rocker, though, and can be convinced that I'm wrong.
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  #3  
July 8th, 2008, 01:57 PM
Gracey and Evan's Ma
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I think we just hear about it more.. because we arent as tolerant. I know that a family member of mine was KIDNAPPED as a toddler..when she was found, her father supposedly "handled it" with the guy.. I dont know all the details of what happened, I just know that her mother never spoke to her about it and basically told her to just forget it. This was about 40 years or so ago, and apparently, back then-you didnt talk about things like that. It was "shameful" to the family. I know when I was molested, my grandmother told my sis that she wished Id never said anything to anyone and that I would have JUST told HER... then she could TALK to me and the relative (the molester) about it, and no one else would have to know. She never said anything to me about it (not that I WANTED her to talk to me about it.. it was just that she almost acted as though I was to blame.. and she began to favor the molester after that) and I sort of felt like I was an outcast when I was at her house after that (in the last few years though, they have been wonderful about the OTHER aspects of my life). My DH's uncle and his uncles cousin were molested by DH's grandfather and great uncle (the cousin's dad). They used to "swap" sons and take turns molesting them. I only know because my sis used to be BFF with DH's aunt (the sister of his dad and uncle) and she'd overheard her parents arguing about it or something. They never told anyone. No one ever said anything, and nothing was ever done. DH, fortunately, was never allowed around his grandfather-but he still to this day doesnt know why and I dont have the heart to tell him that dear ol gramps is a huge nasty perv! Ive actually tried telling him, but I dont think he wants to know.. He always complains that his parents kept him away from his grandparents and when I try to tell him that they have their reasons and that they are GOOD reasons, he gets all huffy and tells me he doesnt want to hear about it.

I guess its just really hard to accept it when your family has a bad apple.. or a perverted apple. But as long as ppl dont talk about, and those ppl dont get put away or SOMETHING, I think the cycle will continue. I hope that maybe as ppl start speaking out about it and seeing that they cant get away with it.. maybe sickos will start thinking before they act.
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  #4  
July 8th, 2008, 07:11 PM
Tofu Bacon
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In years past, people were more likely to turn the away if someone was being abused; it was considered a "family matter"
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  #5  
July 8th, 2008, 07:27 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
As I mentioned in the other thread, I often watch "Intervention" and I would guess about 90% of the addicts featured suffered from at least one form of abuse. And these addicts are in their 20s, 30s, 40s so we are talking several years ago.[/b]

maybe we should just go ahead and lock up abused children in mental hospials scence most likely they are just going to turn into abusers them selfs
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  #6  
July 8th, 2008, 07:49 PM
LorieB's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
As I mentioned in the other thread, I often watch "Intervention" and I would guess about 90% of the addicts featured suffered from at least one form of abuse. And these addicts are in their 20s, 30s, 40s so we are talking several years ago.[/b]

maybe we should just go ahead and lock up abused children in mental hospials scence most likely they are just going to turn into abusers them selfs
[/b]
Yes, that is EXACTLY what I was implying. Without trying to sound too harsh here, it's great that you have been able to overcome your abuse past but not everyone is that lucky. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you but I don't think you should be participating in debates you take too personally. Nobody has said all abused children will mess up their lives or anything else you are getting all defensive about. I don't even know where you are pulling your comments from since I was talking about addicts commonly having a past of some form of abuse, I don't see anywhere where I said anyone should be locked up or will automatically 100% become an abuser.

Here's a small statistic for you:
Quote:
Child Abuse: At least two-thirds of patients in drug abuse treatment centers say they were physically or sexually abused as children.[/b]
Source

National Institute on Drug Abuse
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  #7  
July 8th, 2008, 08:03 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I think society has changed. People are more likely now to come out and speak against their molesters. Years ago things like that were considered shameful family business that was not to be discussed.

We are also living in a society that is bombarded with news in one form or another. It's much easier to spread the word around now.
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  #8  
July 8th, 2008, 08:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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you dident say it directly but just ammited that, thats what you wher implying, and becoming a drug addict is different than becoming a child abuser yourself, and what about the only 1/3 who dont use drugs. they should be prejuged because they are more likely to use

and if noone debated in debates they feal stronly about or take personally this bord would be really borning
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  #9  
July 8th, 2008, 08:35 PM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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To the original OP, I think that *some* kinds of abuse are probably happening at the same rate they were 20 or 30 or 40 years ago. Incest, for example, or the "family friend" who molests the little girl. As others said, it was more hush-hush and taken care of "in the family" ... I know in my mom's family there was that one uncle that everyone knew about (he tried to rape my grandmother and did bad things to who knows how many of the kids) but it wasn't something anyone went to the police about - they just made a point to not be alone with him, and not leave their kids near him.

But I think other kinds of abuse are on the rise because some things are easier to do now, given the internet. It sounds disgusting, but I'm sure the "supply and demand" theory must apply to kiddy porn. There is a market for it today (online) that there wasn't 40 years ago. I think the internet has made it easier for some people to do things/look at things that if they were living 30 years ago they might have just had sick fantasies in their heads.

Three Toed Sloth: no one is saying that all kids who are abused go on to become drug addicts or horrible people or anything. There are many healthy and happy people who have suffered abuse at one point or another. But it's well documented that people who have suffered abuse are more likely than those who have not, to experiment with drugs, suffer psychological issues such as depression, etc. That's not an indictment on anyone who has been abused - actually it's an indictment on the damage that can be done to innocent children. Would it be better if the medical and health community said, "well, look, there's lots of folks who turn out just fine, so let's not worry about helping those who have been abused - that would be unfair of us to assume that they're GOING to have problems, so why would we help them now?"
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  #10  
July 8th, 2008, 11:53 PM
LorieB's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
you dident say it directly but just ammited that, thats what you wher implying, and becoming a drug addict is different than becoming a child abuser yourself, and what about the only 1/3 who dont use drugs. they should be prejuged because they are more likely to use

and if noone debated in debates they feal stronly about or take personally this bord would be really borning[/b]
I never admitted anything as I was never trying to say anything. I was using one single television show that has abuse mentioned on almost every episode as an example of abuse in the past. You are looking at these threads from the wrong side of the fence: nobody is saying bad things about victims of abuse. The statistic I posted proved that addicts are commonly victims of abuse, NOT that victims of abuse will become addicts. You are misunderstanding the statistic as it's 2/3 of drug addicts were abused, the other third were not abused. Nobody is saying or implying that abuse victims will become addicts or will abuse themselves. If you want to start a thread about how you feel victims of abuse are treated then go right ahead but you need to stop going off on these tangents as they have nothing to do with the original debates, especially since you are trying to prove something that was never there in the first place.

It's alright to debate subjects personally if it doesn't negatively affect the debate. You are taking things way too personally and reading implications that were never even made. You aren't even debating really, you are just trying to pick fights with people who are against abuse just like you are.

And thank you, Christina, for your explanation also.
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  #11  
July 9th, 2008, 07:14 AM
stardusthealer's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 642
I don't think there is more abuse now a days I think that it is just that people are more open to discuss it. I think there is more information out there and its less of a dirty little secret". I think its wrong to make children who have been abused feel ashamed when they haven't done anything wrong. Children who have been abused are more prone to drugs and other addictions or so I was told by a counsellor. I think if Children are allowed to talk about what happened to them and they get counselling as well as the family then the percentages drop a bit.
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