Log In Sign Up

Gender specific toys


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 15th, 2008, 03:07 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
Would you or do you let your child play with toys that are aimed towards the opposite sex?

I ask this because I am getting my son a toy kitchen for Christmas, and a few of my distant relatives told me that toy kitchens are "a girls' toy, only girls are supposed to cook!" I was honestly appalled that people still think this in this day and age. I also let my son play with my old Barbie dolls. I don't believe in gender specific toys.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 15th, 2008, 03:48 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
When my littlest brother was born I saved up my allowance and bought my younger brother a doll so he could have his own baby. Two years later they each got one for x mas and slept with them for over a year. They also played with my barbies because they wanted to play with me. No harm in it, they both seemed to have turned out alright.

I had a tonka truck and dinky cars. Ha.. I ran my cousin's barbie's over with the truck!

I don't believe in gender toys. Sure, there are some things that are really not meant for boys (let's face it peeps.. dress up clothes dresses, while can be cute, are not really meant for boys).
__________________
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!


Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 15th, 2008, 03:57 PM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: B.C., Canada
Posts: 7,832
I bought my son a "baby doll" when he was about six months old. He was fascinated by the dolls - why wouldn't he be, they have big expressive eyes, and smiles. A lot of people rolled their eyes about it, but I didn't care. I truly believe that boys have far fewer opportunities to develop and express empathy and nurturing, and if a few "girly" toys allow them to do that, then it's a good thing. My husband did mildly question it, but quickly agreed it was the right thing and there was absolutely no reason not to.

Having said that, I'm obviously not immune to the "gender-typing" of toys... when I bought the baby doll, I made sure it was a boy doll (it was wearing a blue outfit). And when I recently bought him a walker/push toy, the one I wanted was in stock in a purple/ivory/pink version, and I waited until they had re-stocked the bright red/blue/yellow one. I didn't even think about how hypocritical it was of me till later.

I think it's hard for us to break free of those assumptions about toys ... but I think, if your son is going to have fun with it, then go for it! My sister loved Hot Wheels when she was a kid, and my parents bought her a hot wheels garage and the whole nine yards. I think it's easier to let girls play with "boy" toys but for some reason people get weird about boys playing with "girl" toys.

Anyways, it's a kitchen play set .... if anyone gives you a hard time, point out how many rich and famous MALE chefs are out there!!


ETA: Whoops, your post came up while I was writing my response, I just have to say I totally disagree with the last point about the dress up clothes (bolded below). Dressing up is about play, imagination, having fun. Is building an imaginary fort ok for boys? Then why wouldn't it be ok to dress up??

Quote:
When my littlest brother was born I saved up my allowance and bought my younger brother a doll so he could have his own baby. Two years later they each got one for x mas and slept with them for over a year. They also played with my barbies because they wanted to play with me. No harm in it, they both seemed to have turned out alright.

I had a tonka truck and dinky cars. Ha.. I ran my cousin's barbie's over with the truck!

I don't believe in gender toys. Sure, there are some things that are really not meant for boys (let's face it peeps.. dress up clothes dresses, while can be cute, are not really meant for boys).[/b]
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 15th, 2008, 04:25 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
Quote:
ETA: Whoops, your post came up while I was writing my response, I just have to say I totally disagree with the last point about the dress up clothes (bolded below). Dressing up is about play, imagination, having fun. Is building an imaginary fort ok for boys? Then why wouldn't it be ok to dress up??

Quote:
When my littlest brother was born I saved up my allowance and bought my younger brother a doll so he could have his own baby. Two years later they each got one for x mas and slept with them for over a year. They also played with my barbies because they wanted to play with me. No harm in it, they both seemed to have turned out alright.

I had a tonka truck and dinky cars. Ha.. I ran my cousin's barbie's over with the truck!

I don't believe in gender toys. Sure, there are some things that are really not meant for boys (let's face it peeps.. dress up clothes dresses, while can be cute, are not really meant for boys).[/b]
[/b]
I didn't say boys can't dress up. I specifically said dress up DRESSES are not meant for boys. My brothers were definitely able to find enough non dresses in my dress up clothes to get along quite well. But we put my brother in dresses all the time! However, I do not know if I would encourage it in a son of my own. At the same time I wouldn't prevent it.
__________________
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!


Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 15th, 2008, 06:50 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
I was just telling DH that I want to get a toy kitchen for our son for Christmas! I don't see anything wrong girls playing with "boy" toys and boys playing with "girl" toys. The kitchen sets are the ones I find the funniest. I don't understand why people think that is a girl toy. Most of the famous chefs are MEN!
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 15th, 2008, 07:49 PM
aprilmomto3's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 342
I see nothing wrong with it, my daughter sometimes play's with my boys toys and vise versa.
__________________

Thanks to aprilmiracle for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
July 15th, 2008, 08:49 PM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
I got my son a kitchen as well. It seems pretty common! I got a few comments about it but I think its ridiculous. Men cook too! Look at all the top chefs! They are all men.

I am not into gender specific toys and I really hate how they will make all the Dora stuff pink and girly for example. My son wants pink Dora sandals and how do you explain to a two year old that it is unfortunately not socially acceptable lol

I don't think you need to raise boys to be boys and girls to be girl you just need to raise children to be children and who they are. Let them play with what they want a figure out what they like.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
July 15th, 2008, 09:21 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Green-Vegas South Carolina!
Posts: 4,805
Ok, I'm on pain meds so hopefully this will make sense...


I read a book recently by Allen and Barbara Pease called Why Men don't Listen. And Women Can't Read Maps. It's ostensibly a relationship book, one of those things I picked up and started reading out of lack of anything else to read, but I was surprised by it. They compiled a great deal of research and brain mapping data that confirms what most people observe. G E N E R A L L Y, men and women's brains are mapped completely differently. Gender is a biological construct, we are G E N E R A L L Y born wanting dolls and boys are G E N E R A L L Y born wanting trucks and action things. When they scanned the brains of Homosexual Men, Homosexual Females, and Transgender male and females, they found that Homosexual men's brains MORE resembled the scan of a female's brain, Homosexual Females had brains that MORE resembled the male's brain, and that Transgender males and females had essentially the opposite gender's brain in their bodies. Gender and sexuality seems to be centered in the Hypothalamus, and that's where they found the most marked differences between all the brains. They found that the hormonal cocktail that is released in the mother's womb in utero tends to affect the way the brain develops. More estrogen given to a woman during her pregnancy with a boy, and the more "feminine" that boy develops and the more "feminine" his brain looks in scans, and Vice/Versa. I believe based on all this research, that gender is primarily a biological construct, and is only reinforced, not created, by societal stereotypes.

That having been said, I think parents and society should nurture the person their child is, rather than what they think the child should be. While I believe that gender is primarily biological, I don't use that information to discriminate against more "feminine" boys or "masculine" girls. I understand that it is simply the makeup of their biology that makes them so, and that biology has many variables. So if your son enjoys dolls and kitchen sets, by all means let him. Same with girls who want to play with action figures and trucks.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/99390.php
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/...80303120346.htm
This Wikipedia article is a good jumping off point for studies and findings.
__________________

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
Reply With Quote
  #9  
July 15th, 2008, 09:54 PM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: B.C., Canada
Posts: 7,832
I think there is a lot of truth in what you've said Torrie - I think a large part of our personalities and preferences come from "nature" versus "nurture", and particularly as it relates to gender preferences. I have laughed a few times at the fact that, despite the doll and gender neutral toys, the first time DS (who is a week shy of one year old) saw a firetruck toy, he want crazy over it, "driving" it back and forth and even making "wrrrrr" noises like he was pretending the engine was going. There truly are a lot of natural leanings in one direction or another.

In my original post, I had a line saying something like "I don't think people should push opposite-sex toys simply for the principal of it, but if your child likes playing with something that falls outside the typical range of boy or girl toys, then go for it" but I removed it because it was getting lengthy ... in other words, I do think boys can play with girl toys and vice versa, but if they don't enjoy playing with, and their natural leaning is towards something else, then run with that.

(As an aside, the brain mapping studies was what convinced me pretty early on that sexual orientation is, the majority of the time, the way someone is born ... and not a "lifestyle choice".)
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #10  
July 15th, 2008, 10:11 PM
Mommy2jnd's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 506
Both my kids play with whatever they want. I don't let their gender get in the way of them having fun.
__________________







Reply With Quote
  #11  
July 15th, 2008, 11:46 PM
Theo's Avatar Fall Down, Go Boom
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,591
I think it's totally fine to let them have whichever gender toys they want. I like it that I see my daughter playing with bugs or kids' chemistry kits instead of Barbies and Disney Princess stuff. I don't want her to grow up with the idea that all she should strive for is the "perfect" (no such thing) body, lots of material goods, and to get married.
That actually is something that really bothers me. So many toys for girls, dolls especially, perpetuate the ideals of 100 years ago - women should all want children, should cook and keep house, and strive for the "perfect" (impossible) body and looks, in order to attract a man to marry. I have no problems with women who CHOOSE that, as I've chosen some of that myself, but I don't think it should be an indoctrination.
Conversely, I don't like militaristic toys (guns, soldiers, tanks, etcetera) for boys either. I keep both of those groups of stuff out of my home as much as I can.

Cars, insects, trains, dinosaurs, rocketships; ponies, play ovens, dolls (Barbie and Bratz excluded ) and art kits; and everything in between are all fine for either gender, in my books.
__________________
Mum of Cat (18.06.04), Cecily (04.01.07) Remi (18.07.08) & Saoirse (15.10.08)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
July 16th, 2008, 09:32 AM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
Theo - I completely agree with you on girls toys! I hate all the Disney Princess nonsense. I don't want my little girl to be waiting for Prince Charming lol My SIL really pushes my niece to be "girly" and it really bothers me. I don't like when she tells my son that something is for girls or boys only.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
July 16th, 2008, 09:58 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 170
My son got a barbie doll from a garage sale...its one of his favorite toys. And he has one of those little play kitchens, he's so cute with it. He likes to make breakfest with daddy, so he'll go to his little play kitchen to make his breakfest while daddy makes ours. Its too cute! Of course, he loves to play with his cars too.

I don't think toys are for girls or for boys, their for kids (and kids at heart). I like to buy my son a good mix of toys and have him play with whatever he darn well pleases.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #14  
July 16th, 2008, 11:10 PM
pixie_punk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,842
Quote:
I think it's totally fine to let them have whichever gender toys they want. I like it that I see my daughter playing with bugs or kids' chemistry kits instead of Barbies and Disney Princess stuff. I don't want her to grow up with the idea that all she should strive for is the "perfect" (no such thing) body, lots of material goods, and to get married.
That actually is something that really bothers me. So many toys for girls, dolls especially, perpetuate the ideals of 100 years ago - women should all want children, should cook and keep house, and strive for the "perfect" (impossible) body and looks, in order to attract a man to marry. I have no problems with women who CHOOSE that, as I've chosen some of that myself, but I don't think it should be an indoctrination.
Conversely, I don't like militaristic toys (guns, soldiers, tanks, etcetera) for boys either. I keep both of those groups of stuff out of my home as much as I can.

Cars, insects, trains, dinosaurs, rocketships; ponies, play ovens, dolls (Barbie and Bratz excluded ) and art kits; and everything in between are all fine for either gender, in my books.[/b]
I agree, I hate all that Disney Princess junk (and don't get me STARTED on Bratz dolls), but to be fair... Barbie IS quite the career woman! (although now it just seems like all the new Barbies are fairies or something).

I was actually glad to find out I was having a boy so I wouldn't have to worry about all that stuff. But realistically, if he wants to play with dolls he's gonna play with dolls. My parents tried to push me to be 'girly' (I'm the only girl out of 5 kids) and got me dolls and Barbies and stuff, but I was having none of that. I did like my Cabbage Patch Kids, but other than that I preferred my brothers' Batman action figures to Barbies. I even preferred He-Man to She-Ra.

One of Lennon's favourite things right now is one of those Disney books where you push buttons and it makes noises. It was mine when I was little. It's The Little Mermaid... a "girly" one, but he LOVES it. Sure it's Disney Princess and it's "girly," but the only reason I would consider taking it away from him is because those stupid noises drive me insane sometimes.

I really don't like the way Toys R Us is set up in Boys and Girls sections. Zellers Toyland just breaks up the toys by Action Figures, Dolls, Building toys, etc. Categories, not genders. I like that better.
__________________
<div align="center">

There are two girls with whom I've known longer than anyone, and my debt to them is lifetime. The gathering of boys I rely on know exactly who they are and I would build their protection with bloody hands. - 36 Crazyfists
</div>
Reply With Quote
  #15  
July 16th, 2008, 11:56 PM
MissTorrieIfYou'reNasty's Avatar Co-Host of Heated Debates
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Green-Vegas South Carolina!
Posts: 4,805
Quote:
I preferred my brothers' Batman action figures to Barbies. I even preferred He-Man to She-Ra.[/b]
You don't know what you are talking about. She-Ra could totally kick He-Man's butt.
Now, Batman, I'm with ya there. Been a Batman fan since I was smaaaalllll. (The Dark Knight midnight showing tomorrow. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) He could kick Barbie's butt.
__________________

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
Reply With Quote
  #16  
July 17th, 2008, 12:12 AM
Theo's Avatar Fall Down, Go Boom
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,591
Ha, I totally feel you on the parents pushing you to be girly! I have 7 brothers and only one sister, so my mum took extra care to make sure we were girly! I liked it up to a certain point, but I'd scream bloody murder if my mum came near me with anything pink and lacy.
__________________
Mum of Cat (18.06.04), Cecily (04.01.07) Remi (18.07.08) & Saoirse (15.10.08)
Reply With Quote
  #17  
July 17th, 2008, 03:54 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 170
Quote:
Ha, I totally feel you on the parents pushing you to be girly! I have 7 brothers and only one sister, so my mum took extra care to make sure we were girly! I liked it up to a certain point, but I'd scream bloody murder if my mum came near me with anything pink and lacy.[/b]
Ok, off topic, but I had one of those "OMG" moments when I saw you posts. I've got 7 brothers too! Two sisters though. My aunt tried to make us "girly" but that wasn't until I was 13 (one sister was 12, the other 14), so we were lost causes by then. I liked hockey, guitars, and fixing cars. There was no saving me at that point.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #18  
July 17th, 2008, 04:02 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 170
Quote:
I really don't like the way Toys R Us is set up in Boys and Girls sections. Zellers Toyland just breaks up the toys by Action Figures, Dolls, Building toys, etc. Categories, not genders. I like that better.[/b]
Oh, that drives me nuts at Toys R Us. I went shopping for my friend's daugther's birthday, and I couldn't figure out what to buy her. I mean, the kid gets a ton of loot, especially clothes, so I had no idea what to buy her. And I see one of those helpful people who work there, so I asked for some guidence on buying a birthday present for a three year old (could she have small parts now? spencer is still on the no small parts list, I was in over my head here), and the next words out of the woman's mouth were "Are we shopping for a boy or a girl?", uh, does it matter? She's three. Aren't toys just toys?

I ended up getting her this music kit thing, because her mother got Spencer some little noise maker for his birthday. It was revenge. The kit included a drum.

She is actually pretty girly. But I didn't think make-up was apporiate for a three year old, and she has tons of dress up stuff already. Its pretty funny she's so girly, cause her mom, is so un-girly. We dont' know where she got it from.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #19  
July 17th, 2008, 10:35 PM
pixie_punk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,842
Quote:
Quote:
I preferred my brothers' Batman action figures to Barbies. I even preferred He-Man to She-Ra.[/b]
You don't know what you are talking about. She-Ra could totally kick He-Man's butt.
Now, Batman, I'm with ya there. Been a Batman fan since I was smaaaalllll. (The Dark Knight midnight showing tomorrow. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) He could kick Barbie's butt.
[/b]
Well I did have a She-Ra sword that glowed in the dark, that was cool. But I mostly liked the green tiger He-Man rode.

I'm jealous, you're seeing The Dark Knight RIGHT NOW! I wanted to go to a midnight showing but that didn't work so well with everyone's schedule, so we're all going tomorrow at 7:30. There's like 12 of us and we already have tickets, so it was no small feat getting everyone organized. But then again we've been planning it for over a year.

I wish Lennon was older so I had an excuse to buy the action figures. Not that I think it's an appropriate movie for kids anyway, judging by the previews...
__________________
<div align="center">

There are two girls with whom I've known longer than anyone, and my debt to them is lifetime. The gathering of boys I rely on know exactly who they are and I would build their protection with bloody hands. - 36 Crazyfists
</div>
Reply With Quote
  #20  
July 22nd, 2008, 05:27 PM
.*.H&HMomma.*.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Posts: 13,080
DH and I have been talking about getting him a toy kitchen as well. I NEVER thought that was girlie!
__________________


Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:44 AM.