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How close together between pregnancys is too close together


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  #1  
December 5th, 2009, 05:53 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Disclaimer
Of course sometimes accidents happen and women often find themselves pregnant just months after giving birth but I'm not debating that, I'm talking women who TTC.


We've all heard of women who have TTCed as soon as their child was born whether it be your aunty, friend, neighbor, cousin's, uncle's, brother's wife or on the net.

Do you think this is selfish? (as in not enough time for the body to recover equaling disadvantages for the pregnancy I.E raising the risk of complications such as premature births and low birth weight.)

Does it depend on the type of birth she had?
What number of births she had?
How healthy she is?
Whether or not she has fertility problems?
If she's an older mum with not much time left on her biological clock?
Or it just nobody elses business?

what do you think?
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  #2  
December 5th, 2009, 05:57 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sometimes it makes me cross my eyes - but thats mainly because it can be unhealthy to get pregnant so close together. But it's a womans prerogative and I can't say anything to the contrary.
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  #3  
December 5th, 2009, 06:02 PM
BonitaAppleBomb's Avatar ~African-American-Mommy~
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Everyone's circumstances and bodies are different. I know a few women in real life that have babies that are less than a year apart and I can't imagine doing that. Simply because I can hardly handle one 3 year old, let alone 2 at the same time, but I don't knock/nor judge them for doing it that way. Maybe they can handle it.

I just believe as long as your body can handle the pregnancy, then have them as close or as far as you see fit.
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  #4  
December 5th, 2009, 06:04 PM
**Badfish**'s Avatar Worth Saving
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I know someone who purposely got pregnant within a couple months of her c-section. That blew my mind a little. I just couldn't imagine intentionally put that much strain on a healing incision.
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  #5  
December 5th, 2009, 06:09 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess is Write View Post
I know someone who purposely got pregnant within a couple months of her c-section. That blew my mind a little. I just couldn't imagine intentionally put that much strain on a healing incision.

I have a cousin well she's my mums cousin but she's alot younger then my mum. She's had 3 children all by c-sections and they are all around a year apart. Her youngest is 4 months old now and she and her husband are TTC again. That I don't get... I mean its just so unsafe and its not like she's 45 she's only 26.

I personally don't understand why I have 2 children and they're 2 years and 2 months apart and when our third one is born it'll be 4 years apart from my Oldest and 22 months apart from my second and that sounds scary enough to me I can't imagine have 2 bubs in less then a year. I won't judge you because of it but I still can't imagine...

I think I only ever get judgmental when its not safe for the mother or child. Or also when the mother doesn't seem to be able to handle the children she's got and is more addicted to being pregnant...
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  #6  
December 5th, 2009, 06:10 PM
LorieB's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonitaAppleBomb View Post
Everyone's circumstances and bodies are different. I know a few women in real life that have babies that are less than a year apart and I can't imagine doing that. Simply because I can hardly handle one 3 year old, let alone 2 at the same time, but I don't knock/nor judge them for doing it that way. Maybe they can handle it.

I just believe as long as your body can handle the pregnancy, then have them as close or as far as you see fit.
I don't have anything to add to this, I just agree.
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  #7  
December 5th, 2009, 06:17 PM
Tersh's Avatar DD nurses her baby too!
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Like others have said, it's a woman's prerogative. I find the first 12 months so demanding, I can't imagine having them closer together than about 15 months (give yourself a short break!). I've also read it takes about 2 years for the body to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

My step dad and his brother were 10 months apart. My dad was 3 months early and had serious complications as a baby. Despite that, they managed to sneak off and do the deed and get pregnant right away. It blows my mind.
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  #8  
December 5th, 2009, 06:39 PM
BonitaAppleBomb's Avatar ~African-American-Mommy~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tersh View Post
Like others have said, it's a woman's prerogative. I find the first 12 months so demanding, I can't imagine having them closer together than about 15 months (give yourself a short break!). I've also read it takes about 2 years for the body to fully recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

My step dad and his brother were 10 months apart. My dad was 3 months early and had serious complications as a baby. Despite that, they managed to sneak off and do the deed and get pregnant right away. It blows my mind.
This is what I've read as well. I have 2 friends that had their babies less than 18 months apart and they both suffered PPD after the second one. I often times wondered if having their babies so close together contributed to their depression.
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  #9  
December 5th, 2009, 06:42 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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My first two are 19 months apart, and my second two will be 14 months apart, and if it had been up to me it would have been more like 12-14 both times. DH stopped me, arguing that "one of us has to be sane." Oh, and yes.. the second two were planned. Even though my second was a C-section, I didn't see it as that big a deal. And neither does my OB. Every woman heals differently, and I was healed up pretty quick (yes, even inside). Not ALL women need 9 months for the incision to heal.

I want my children close together. I actually loathe being pregnant. I definitely view it as a necessary evil, or a means to an end. I just want the kids that result at the end.

A friend of mine from high school had five C-sections, all 12-14 months apart. She did end up with a hysterectomy because of the scar tissue she amounted, but I have no idea if that's just the result of 5 sections, or if it has anything to do with the spacing.
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  #10  
December 5th, 2009, 06:49 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keskes View Post
My first two are 19 months apart, and my second two will be 14 months apart, and if it had been up to me it would have been more like 12-14 both times. DH stopped me, arguing that "one of us has to be sane." Oh, and yes.. the second two were planned. Even though my second was a C-section, I didn't see it as that big a deal. And neither does my OB. Every woman heals differently, and I was healed up pretty quick (yes, even inside). Not ALL women need 9 months for the incision to heal.

I want my children close together. I actually loathe being pregnant. I definitely view it as a necessary evil, or a means to an end. I just want the kids that result at the end.

A friend of mine from high school had five C-sections, all 12-14 months apart. She did end up with a hysterectomy because of the scar tissue she amounted, but I have no idea if that's just the result of 5 sections, or if it has anything to do with the spacing.
To the part I bolded first

I agree with you on the healing side of things as well. Some women don't need to wait others do. I got the Okay to TTC at 10 months we weren't interested then but my doctor said it would be fine. I healed extremley well and never have had an issue with my scar/uterus etc at all since my c-section. But a friend of mine has been told to wait for 2 or so years because another so soon would dramatically increas the risk of a ruptured uterus and not just during childbirth but during pregnancy.

to the second part I literally LOL'ed and I'm with ya there!! I hate being pregnant although I am enjoying it so far this time I guess there is a first for everything

and thirdly I would say possibly a mixture of both, I remember someone telling m whether it was a nurse or a doctor that with every pregnancy your uterus gets thinner and the scar tissue can get thicker. I think they only recommend 4 c-sections?
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  #11  
December 5th, 2009, 07:11 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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They recommend 3, but lots of women have more.

At my PP check up with DD, I asked how long I had to wait, and my OB said "well, we'd prefer you wait 18 months, but I doubt it's gonna happen so just come in for an ultrasound before you go crazy on us." He scheduled it that day, in fact. But I got my BFP a week before the day it was scheduled for.

Spacing the pregnancies less than 18-24 months increases the risk of rupture VERY marginally.. my risk is still less than 1% - I believe it's like .4% instead of .2%. It's not a massive concern for me. If it had raised the risk to like 5% or something, I would have waited.
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  #12  
December 5th, 2009, 07:38 PM
Jarheadwed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For me it would probably be a year or two if I'm TTC. I think women should wait until the recommended time that their doctor tells them, but if they want to risk it, no skin off of my nose.
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  #13  
December 5th, 2009, 07:41 PM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I think it is smart to give your body some time to recover. At least a few months. But, to each their own.

Now, if you have twins, I highly suggest you wait. Awhile. A long while! Actually my OB did tell me that he wanted me to wait 1 year if I wanted to TTC again. I thought maybe when the girls were 1 1/2 we'd start, but now they are almost 2 and there is no way I want to try right now.
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  #14  
December 5th, 2009, 07:41 PM
hannah79's Avatar A little bit wicked
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I had a c-section in February. Unfortunately, my son only lived for 13 hours after he was born. My doctor gave me the go ahead to ttc after three months. I am currently 12 weeks and we are not having any problems.
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  #15  
December 5th, 2009, 07:47 PM
BonitaAppleBomb's Avatar ~African-American-Mommy~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hannah79 View Post
I had a c-section in February. Unfortunately, my son only lived for 13 hours after he was born. My doctor gave me the go ahead to ttc after three months. I am currently 12 weeks and we are not having any problems.
i can relate....
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  #16  
December 5th, 2009, 10:34 PM
my_boys_are_my_joy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, if you show up to your post-partum check-up pregnant, that might be a tad too soon! lol But only for health concerns for the mother. If a woman is fine with it, then more power to her!

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I got pregnant with my oldest son like 2 weeks after having a miscarriage (no cycle in between). Some may say that's excessive. (FTR, I actually did have my dr's "go-ahead".) But he was fine, and he healed my soul.
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  #17  
December 6th, 2009, 07:13 AM
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We've all heard of women who have TTCed as soon as their child was born whether it be your aunty, friend, neighbor, cousin's, uncle's, brother's wife or on the net.

Do you think this is selfish? (as in not enough time for the body to recover equaling disadvantages for the pregnancy I.E raising the risk of complications such as premature births and low birth weight.)

To each their own. I guess I don't really care. It's not for me. It's not one I would make... I gotta guess hses hearing plenty from her OB or MW on to handle her pregnancies.

Does it depend on the type of birth she had?
If the woman had a c-section, I would really question the wisdom of getting preggers too soon after it. And I would worry about her.

What number of births she had?
Vaginal? No. C-section? Yes.

How healthy she is?
How do you measure this? I mean lots of unhealthy women get pregnant. I don't think it's the best idea if you are sick period. But if you mean unhealthy as in over weight, or doesn't excersize, or doesn't eat right... that describes most of the population lol. If you mean has cancer or something... well thats her choice. I'm sure she discussed it with her dr.

Whether or not she has fertility problems?
Nah. Not important.

If she's an older mum with not much time left on her biological clock?
I don't know. Doesn't seem relevent.

Or it just nobody elses business?
I think this is pretty much where I fall. I don't really care and I probably wouldn't even say anything unless the woman had a c-section and then it would be out of concern for her and the baby. If she told me to stuff it, I would. I mean my dr told me to wait a year after the c-section, preferably two. She said if I got pregnant within 3 months of the section there was a serious risk, it dropped off after that, but it was still high until a year and if I wanted a vbac I should wait two years.
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  #18  
December 6th, 2009, 07:23 AM
IAmMomMomIAm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilmom View Post
...

Or it just nobody elses business?
I think this is pretty much where I fall. I don't really care and I probably wouldn't even say anything unless the woman had a c-section and then it would be out of concern for her and the baby. If she told me to stuff it, I would. I mean my dr told me to wait a year after the c-section, preferably two. She said if I got pregnant within 3 months of the section there was a serious risk, it dropped off after that, but it was still high until a year and if I wanted a vbac I should wait two years.
I got pregnant 4 months after my section, and my doctor didn't complain at all. I had the U/S scheduled for five months after the birth, because I didn't really want to wait longer, and they were marginally okay with that. By marginally, I mean "yeah, we'd like it to be longer, but it's not a big deal." And I'm also good to go for a VBAC, even though they're only 14 months apart. What advice an OB gives on the matter seems to really depend on the OB. I was never told my risk would dramatically increase, just slightly increase. And .2% wasn't enough for me to worry about.
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  #19  
December 6th, 2009, 08:13 AM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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IMO-Its poor judgment When your doc AND second opinion doc both say "wait" and you go ahead anyway TTC. Then I feel like you're being irresponsible to your baby and to yourself and to your entire family if just waiting a few more months would erase that extra risk... ya know??

If the doc says full speed ahead- if you want to - more power to ya.

and if its just an oops-i mean, nobody should have anything to say. I was able to have sex at 4 weeks post baby and you bet I took it! we were careful but that doesnt mean it couldnt have happened to me!

I know that I healed incredibly fast after my first pregnancy, Its not always a bad decision. Any pregnancy has a chance of problems or complications. If youre doc says theres no added risk in trying earlier than "the norm" then i dont see the problem with it.

I mean, you really shouldnt enforce a law of when its ok to TTC-a friend of mine has high risk pregnancies...she knows that, but does that mean she has no right to TTC a family??
IF a woman miscarries 8 times but still tries to get pregnant again and again-is that wrong or selfish? I know a woman who miscarried 8 times and then had 4 healthy children later in life.

Last edited by Eowyn; December 6th, 2009 at 08:18 AM.
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