Log In Sign Up

Gov. Aid & Large Families


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 20th, 2006, 07:51 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
Am I the only one who is bothered when I see a family on welfare(who already has like 3-4 kids) pregnant with another one? I've seen people go on welfare after the first kid, then they continue to have 3 more kids. I mean, if you can't afford the kids you've got, go on birth control, don't have more!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 21st, 2006, 04:39 AM
syncere
Guest
Posts: n/a
Believe me you are NOT the only one.. I am all for getting the help if you need it.. But, like you said if you cant afford the child you have dont get pregnant with more.. But, sadly that is what a lot of people do.. They get paid more every month per child.. they just sit on their butts collecting welfare popping out babies... I personally think there should be a cut off point.. Like maybe a time limit on the amount of time you are eligible to sit on welfare.. Now the people who are truly disabled or whatever wouldnt go into that..
Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 21st, 2006, 07:15 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Angelo, Texas
Posts: 3,274
I see people like that nearly every day where I live. I feel so bad for judging them, but you seriously ask yourself "Why the heck don't they stop having kids so they can provide a better life for the ones they already have?" My fiance and I actually saw a lady at my doctor's office a few weeks ago that was just like that. She had 4 kids with her in the waiting room (all very misbehaved) and she was pregnant with another one and they all looked dirty (like hadn't taken a bath). It's just very frustrating to me.
Amanda
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 21st, 2006, 07:18 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
It's a difficult situation; we have to respect the right to sexual choices, that right doesn't go away when you fall below a certain income line.

But we could try to alleviate the issue by getting more states to carry brithcontrol through low income programs (these programs face A LOT of controversy, I know....but it will cost you less to pay for BC than it will for you to pay for that child to be raised on welfare).
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 21st, 2006, 07:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Posts: 717
Frustrates me.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 21st, 2006, 07:58 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
It does bother me alot...I know women who do that, who keep having babies even if they can't care for the ones they already have...I think it's so irresponsible, and these are the women who create the negative sterotype of a welfare mom.
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 21st, 2006, 08:10 AM
Deb's Avatar
Deb Deb is offline
I'd rather be in Forks
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,919
It does bother me - but again, you have to look at the "why" behind it.

I have a very good friend who has 5 kids. She and her husband were taking fabulous care of them, they were very very happy and doing great financially. Unfortunately, her husband was a truck driver, and was killed in an accident. She's now in a bad spot financially. He did have life insurance, which she used to purchase a home outright so they'd at least have a house to live in - but now, she's stuck with the choice of trying to work and pay for childcare (and still needing aid, while not spending the time with her kids) or staying home on total state support to take care of her children. She's made the choice to live off of state aid so she can at least be there for her kids, who are going thru a hard enough time with the loss of their dad. Slapping them all in daycare and causing them to "lose" their mom too would be devastating. She and I have an arrangement - I go to her house late at night and sit with the kids while they're sleeping so that she can go to Wal-Mart to do her grocery shopping without the comments she gets when she and her kids go together and then she pays with food stamps. I feel so bad for her, because she's one of the ones who's using the aid the way it's supposed to be used - people who are in a very very bad situation, and trying to make the best of it, but she's being tarred with the same brush as sit at home and pop out a kid a year welfare moms, and it's very hard for her. It makes a very rough emotional situation even rougher, and because of her, I've learned that I don't always know what the situation is, so I don't make judgements anymore.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 21st, 2006, 08:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
If the state offered free birth control I think this problem would go away, or at least be greatly reduced.

But around here for instance not only is it not free, you would have to drive an hour to another city, just to go to a low-income clinic which has birth control on a sliding scale. Because if you're really poor, you can't afford to go to a private doctor and have it prescribed to you.

So the poorest people, who need it most, are probably not going to be able to get there because they don't have cars and there is no bus back and forth to this other city. Just an example.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 21st, 2006, 11:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: *queen city* of North Carolina
Posts: 9,497
I think BC should be aviable threw medicaid or other programs. It'd without a doubt help alievate some of the unplanned pregnancies due to lack of funds for proper protection. Of course though, sex leads to possible pregnancies, no matter how well you may be trying to protect against it.

I've heard women being told, to get pregnant so they can remain on welfare. That is wrong on so many levels. Why bring another child into the world, for that reason, of all reasons.

I worked at a daycare. There was a mom, she is PG w/ #6 [#1 lived with bio-dad in another state]. All the children, are on welfare, mom does work though, but these kids -- its just sad. Their clothes are always dirty, their hair is never done. The youngest is 3, he's still potty training [he's daytime trained, just not during nap/night], his clothes smell like urine. One day, he was holding his pencil, as if he was smoking a pipe or something, and his older brother says the BF does drugs in the house. When they ate at the center, they ate as if they don't at home. The mom, is really nice, and she's trying hard to make a better life for them [she works from 8am to at least 6pm at a minimum wage job]. But, i'm sure if there was more aviable as far as BC options for low-income families, she wouldn't be in the position she currently is.
__________________
Proud Mommy To My Princess (5)
Watching over us -- August 2005, March 2010, October 2010, July 2011
Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 21st, 2006, 11:05 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
Seriously, its possible some of these families hit hard times AFTER having their 4 kids.

My grandmother had 4 kids. One was terminally ill from birth. THen her husband became terminal. He died at age 34, leaving her with 4 kids, one who would be COMPLETELY dependent until he died at age 52.

I know its hard not to judge or feel frustrated, especially when all we actually hear about is the abuse of the system. But I have to believe these programs are in place for a reason, and for the most part, I'm glad they are
__________________


<div align="center"></div>
Agatha Christie</span>
Reply With Quote
  #11  
June 21st, 2006, 12:19 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
I wish it wasn't that way too but this is reality.. Those kids didn't ask to be here and they don't want to starve. We don't know "why" it just is. (You ladies from the abortion boards KNOW I agree with state medical care.. and free birth control so...) Now back to work I go...
Reply With Quote
  #12  
June 21st, 2006, 12:25 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
I don't like to see anyone living off the government and having more kids. If you are on assistance then you should wait until you are better off to have more.

I have 5 kids, and we are hoping to get pregnant again. I can provide everything they need and then some, without help. If something happened to my DH, he has enough insurance put away for me to buy off the house, van, and go back to school(with daycare costs, and living expenses included). I wouldn't need the government thankfully. I know I would be okay, and he has enough insurance on me to do the same(he is currently in college furthering his career).

I feel bad for large families that are caught in a bad spot like some mentioned above. You don't have a large family thinking your spouse wont be there to help.

Quote:
It does bother me - but again, you have to look at the "why" behind it.

I have a very good friend who has 5 kids. She and her husband were taking fabulous care of them, they were very very happy and doing great financially. Unfortunately, her husband was a truck driver, and was killed in an accident. She's now in a bad spot financially. He did have life insurance, which she used to purchase a home outright so they'd at least have a house to live in - but now, she's stuck with the choice of trying to work and pay for childcare (and still needing aid, while not spending the time with her kids) or staying home on total state support to take care of her children. She's made the choice to live off of state aid so she can at least be there for her kids, who are going thru a hard enough time with the loss of their dad. Slapping them all in daycare and causing them to "lose" their mom too would be devastating. She and I have an arrangement - I go to her house late at night and sit with the kids while they're sleeping so that she can go to Wal-Mart to do her grocery shopping without the comments she gets when she and her kids go together and then she pays with food stamps. I feel so bad for her, because she's one of the ones who's using the aid the way it's supposed to be used - people who are in a very very bad situation, and trying to make the best of it, but she's being tarred with the same brush as sit at home and pop out a kid a year welfare moms, and it's very hard for her. It makes a very rough emotional situation even rougher, and because of her, I've learned that I don't always know what the situation is, so I don't make judgements anymore.[/b]
I think what you're doing is great! I bet she really appreciates you!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #13  
June 21st, 2006, 12:25 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 4,435
Quote:
I wish it wasn't that way too but this is reality.. Those kids didn't ask to be here and they don't want to starve. We don't know "why" it just is. (You ladies from the abortion boards KNOW I agree with state medical care.. and free birth control so...) Now back to work I go... [/b]
Yes Michelle, back to work you go! *shaking my finger at you* I agree that if we had more access to birth control, this might be easier to deal with. Good luck with that though.
__________________










Angel~9/12/05~with us for 5 weeks</span></span></span>
Reply With Quote
  #14  
June 21st, 2006, 12:29 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
I wish it wasn't that way too but this is reality.. Those kids didn't ask to be here and they don't want to starve. We don't know "why" it just is. (You ladies from the abortion boards KNOW I agree with state medical care.. and free birth control so...) Now back to work I go... [/b]
Yes Michelle, back to work you go! *shaking my finger at you* I agree that if we had more access to birth control, this might be easier to deal with. Good luck with that though.
[/b]
(I shouldn't be here because I should be at work.)



AND TO ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PEOPLE ON THE SYSTEM:
~ QUIT JUDGING WOMEN WHO THEN GO HAVE ABORTIONS!!!



Why do you girls think I don't have kids? I need the life insurance, job and security so if something happens to me or dh our kids don't suffer!!! I understand life happens and that's why I'm just glad that these systems are here. I can't be 100% prepared for everything so I ever do get lucky enough to have kids and we "forgot" something, we have a system to rely on...

k, now I go back to work.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
June 23rd, 2006, 02:09 AM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,497
I'm not on welfare but some could be like me and have birthcontrol not work!! This baby is a depo baby and my last two are pill babies. Their great though so I guess I can't complain. We figured out the problem this time around and plan on getting my tubes tied.. hopefully that works
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #16  
June 23rd, 2006, 08:00 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,383
People on welfare are able to take care of their children they aren't all brats or dirty! Is that why you thought this lady was on welfare because her kids were unkempt and misbehaving?!?!
I agree woman should all have access to Birth control but being poor is no exuse for abortion!
I have been lucky to live in MA my whole life and have access to MA HEalth which is for low-income families not just people on welfare. Now that I am in NH it is a whole new ball game. I am eligible for Medicaid till KAE is one and that is it so I have no clue what we will do. I am thinking I will get a IUD beofre she turns one.

Also almost all states have a family cap law that stops you from "popping out a kid a year" to stay on welfare.

This is from IL but pretty much somes it up for other states as well.
http://www.povertylaw.org/news-and-events/...view/2002_11_21

http://www.clasp.org/publications/family_cap_brf.pdf
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #17  
June 23rd, 2006, 08:24 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
Quote:
Also almost all states have a family cap law that stops you from "popping out a kid a year" to stay on welfare.

This is from IL but pretty much somes it up for other states as well.
http://www.povertylaw.org/news-and-events/...view/2002_11_21

http://www.clasp.org/publications/family_cap_brf.pdf[/b]
I'd never heard that. That's interesting.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
June 23rd, 2006, 08:31 PM
ladyellise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 6,128
It bothers me too!
__________________
<div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #19  
June 23rd, 2006, 09:22 PM
kadydid
Guest
Posts: n/a
I have to wonder why they are having all these kids. Is it for religous reasons? Some people can't take BC for religous reasons.

Basically I worry more about the child than the actual welfare money that is being spent on them. Welfare is not a great way to provide for your kids. I don't think they would get enough being on welfare long term.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
June 24th, 2006, 12:09 AM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,497
There is this women in our town.. she just had her 11th child. She told me this was her goal because with 11 children under 18 she is now tax exempt. All I could say was OMG and look at her like she was nuts.
__________________




Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:00 PM.