Log In Sign Up

Teen Parents


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 21st, 2006, 07:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pluto
Posts: 1,257
Before I say anything about myself I would like to say...

To those who are not teen mothers, how can you judge?
To those who are teen mothers, how can you judge those who aren't?

You can't. You share the same experiences, but they're not always the same.


Hi, I'm Jessica. I'm an 18 year old, married (and NOT to my child's biological father), mother to one daughter (10/26/04) and another one on the way (1/9/07).

At the age of 16 I actually wanted to have a child. Why? I honestly don't remember. Perhaps I was lost in life and needed someone to depend on me. Or because I was an idiot. I first realized I was pregnant at 12 weeks, April 2004. My parents were upset but they didn't love me any less.

I dropped out of school two months before my 10th grade year was over. I got not one, but two jobs to try and support this child I had made. Before I go on, the boy who fathered the child also dropped out of his Christian school and did NOT work. Working those two jobs I probably wanted to kill myself. What a mistake I have made (that's what you're thinking, isn't it?)!

The months went on and I hated myself. I hated my boyfriend even more. "I want to help you out", "I want to wait until after the baby is born so I can be there", "I want to wait until we're married" (we were engaged two months after my daughter was born, that didn't last long). Are you kidding me? No, not all teens are cut out for being a parent - especially boys who want to wait to get a job and support their child.

I took maternity leave the first week in October. I was miserable. My water broke the day I was due. My then boyfriend was at home because he was sick. My mom, who is |----| that close to becoming an RN (May 4, 07) was working at a doctors office at the time and came home to drive my pregnant butt to the hospital. My boyfriend was also there.

I had my princess and months went on. We started school. GED school, that is. I worked. I worked A LOT after those precious 6 weeks I had with my newborn. I graduated a year early. I went to work full time (and then some), I stayed up all night when my little girl AND I went to school to accomplish a little something-something in life.

I am a mom.

I left my boyfriend a few months after our December engagement. Then I met my DH at work. He's 7 1/2 years older than I am.

I don't know exactly where I am going with this. I must be an idiot. I haven't gone to college yet, I'm not 30 and I don't have many experiences, you know.

I don't understand how OTHER MOMS can put down other moms because of there label. "Teen mom". Automatically it makes everyone think you're a moron. People around here don't know my age. On my good days I can look 25. "Oh, you're 18?" *walks away*

Do you realize how bad that makes the older, wise and more mature "mothers" look? Maybe you don't agree with having a child at a young age, but why! It's not you! I know a lot of moms my age that do a hell of a good job with their kid(s).

You can compare an 18 year old mom to a 35 year old mom. Let's pretend they're both SAHMs. What is the difference? Their age.. maybe their figure.. maybe one went to college (but you don't notice that just by looking at them)!!

I am bothered with people who look down at young moms. If their kids are happy and healthy, God bless them.

We all love our children unconditionally. Where is the difference there?

I hear "You could have done so much more with life" more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. What would you like these girls to do with their child then? It's already here.. drop them off at the next street over?

God bless all of the mothers. Young and old. Your love to them is all that matters.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 21st, 2006, 07:59 PM
Tanya G's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Quebec
Posts: 3,929
I didnt read the thread that got closed, and I am not sure exactly what you are looking for posting this but I have a few friends who were teen moms and based on their experiences and things they told me I would not wish that upon anyone. None of them said oh this was the ideal age to have my children, I am so glad I had them this young. Instead they looked for sympathy, woe is me, I had to work hard, "while you were in school and partying it up I was having to mature and take care of a baby, you can never understand how hard this was", " I had no support, I was alone, none of my friends understood becusae they were still in highschool drinking, smoking etc" My friends are all 26 now with their kids in elementary school, and as much as they love their children, they wish they could have had those exact same children later in life.

I think its an extremely mature and commendable thing to keep a baby you conceive as a teen(I'm not talking 18 years old, to me at 18 you are an adult-I am talking 17 and younger). But it does sadden me to see 16 year olds and younger actually trying to conceive. I was 25 when I had my son. I think any new mom has no idea what is to come. When you are pregnant you have dreams of a beautiful sleeping happy baby, well I had a very collicy unhappy baby. My whole pregnancy I tried to prepare myself for the possibility of this, but wow, I had no clue what was coming even as a grown adult.

My point is, I am 26 years old. You know what? All my friends are still out there partying, smoking, drinking, many are still in school, many are actually still living with mommy and daddy. I dont have any family support either. Such is the life of a mom. not sure where I am going with this.. but there is just something about being an adult, and going through the same things. I know we are all going through the same thing. I could not have handled this when I was a teen, but something about being where I am in life now makes it just seem like, well this is normal. Perhaps because I got to have my fun already.

I do not pass judment on teen moms, but as I said above, I wouldnt wish it on anyone, and I just cannot accept the idea of a teen actually trying to conceive, it makes me think they really do not fully understand the responsibility of a baby.

(cringes as she waits to be attacked by all the debaters).
__________________

Thank you Rawisner for the Siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 21st, 2006, 10:13 PM
cyutegurl
Guest
Posts: n/a
COPY AND PASTED FROM WHAT I WROTE EARLIER IN TEEN MOMMIES FORUM:


But the way I think "yes" I know there is bad teen moms out there.................and the older people take what they see from those bad teen moms and think ALL teen moms are bad, which is so not true!

And like another girl said "there are heaps of older woman who are not good mothers". But they get excuses "oh Im stressed out"...........and everyone just shrugs and says "we hear ya there".Becuz their older and they think they know everything cuz there 35 etc.

But if a teen said "im stressed". The older woman would say "oh there bad moms they shouldnt have children at 16,17, or 18 yrs old "blah blah!"

You see what I mean.

Its just sad.......
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 22nd, 2006, 08:23 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pluto
Posts: 1,257
Your age doesn't make you a parent. Being a parent makes you a parent.

All mommies are equal. There are bad teen mommies and bad older mommies. Some teens are able to have the mommy skills right away, some older gals are. Some teen mommies have no idea what they're doing or what they got themselves into, same with the older ladies.

Nobody is natural parent. I think older people think they know everything because they're just that - older. Until you have had a child and experienced it for yourself, you learn and grow everyday with your child.

The number of classes you take, the books you have read.. nothing can compare to that very day you go through labor and give birth. From then on you're learning.

Young and old.. It's pretty much all of the same.

Because, you don't have to go to college to be a mommy!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 22nd, 2006, 09:31 AM
syncere
Guest
Posts: n/a
Mrs Bravata I give you a big thumbs up for doing what you did when you found out you were pregnant but, sadly not all young mothers do that.. Some of them would much rather just sit at home on their butts and let mommy and daddy support them and their child and instead of staying home being an adult taking care of their child they leave it to mommy and daddy to do.. Sad but true. I dont look down on teen mothers one bit. If they all did what you did Im all for it.. If you want a child and you can take care of it emotionally and financially more power to you. But, if you are not being careful get pregnant and feel stuck, mooch off mommy and daddy or purposely get pregnant those are the girls I look down on regardless.. There will forever be a stereotype of teen mothers and as long as the bad apples keep doing what they are doing it will never change.

Quote:
And like another girl said "there are heaps of older woman who are not good mothers". But they get excuses "oh Im stressed out"...........and everyone just shrugs and says "we hear ya there".Becuz their older and they think they know everything cuz there 35 etc.[/b]
I dont know what kind of people say things like that. But, just because you are stressed NO ONE is going to say we hear ya there if you are a bad mother regardless of age. So that statement is kinda fishy there.. Im 25 and I dont use that bs excuse. Im stressed out on a daily basis and I dont claim to know everything..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 22nd, 2006, 10:30 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
I'm mysitified that the teen moms here believe the older moms are judging them. So far, I've read more teen moms being VERY defensive... I just don't see it.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 22nd, 2006, 01:56 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I'm mysitified that the teen moms here believe the older moms are judging them. So far, I've read more teen moms being VERY defensive... I just don't see it.[/b]
I was being very defensive and I know it. They don't have to walk around in the grocery store and get nasty looks and having women saying "You have a kid? You've ruined your life! You're still a baby yourself!" every single day. I wish they (not really talking about anyone here, more in real life) would realize that I am a MOM and it doesn't matter if I'm a 18 or 45! I take good care of my son. He's my world. Look, I was a very troubled teenager and if it wasn't for my son, I'd probably be doing harder drugs and drinking every day, and not finishing up high school. My son literally saved my life. I don't appreciate somebody telling me that because I'm young, unmarried and have a child, that I'm going to be poor for the rest of my life. I don't care if studies say that. I know that many teens do fit into that stereotype but I am not one of them.

I know no one here is judging me, but I get it every day in my real life, so when I see some women here post some rude things about teen mothers and single mothers, I get defensive... This is my support board, to be honest. I love debating with such intelligent women. It's just sometimes... some things said seem to be very attacking and condescending, and it makes me very irritated and I know that sometimes I post things with thinking and then when I read over it the next day, I feel like a complete idiot because my OWN post was rude and attacking.

I just want to apologize to all of you. Lately I have been very VERY emotional, because I have some really stressful things going on in my own life, and when I see some of these topics, I vent all my rage and anger on to you all unintentionally. I apologize. I know I've been a b!tch lately.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 22nd, 2006, 02:00 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
We all have triggers hon.. and we are all human.. I think it takes a bigger person to explain where they're coming from.

Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 22nd, 2006, 02:10 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Hon I totally know where you are coming from...It's hard not to take some of this stuff personally, especially if you feel like you are judged in day to day life. I've lost my temper here too! For what it's worth, I think you are the most mature teenager who posts here and I have nothing but respect for you and how you are raising your son! People are entitled to their opinions, but I do think they take it waaay too far sometimes!
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 22nd, 2006, 02:58 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
Thank you girls. You have no idea what that means to me.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
June 22nd, 2006, 05:05 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
First of all, my mom was a teen mom and I was a single mom before I met my now husband, so I am not here to judge. However, I can tell you that the best years of my life were in my early twenties when I had nothing to hold me back and could do what I wanted. I just think that when you have a child young, maybe you are missing out on some things that you could experience (college life, for example). I'm not saying that having your child isn't the best experience that you could possibly have (I know that's how I feel with my son). Yes many teenagers are mature, however, I don't believe that a 16 year old has had the life experience that a 30 year old mother. I'm 26 and I often seek advice from older mothers. This is a very touchy subject and I am trying to not saying anything that will offend anyone, because I'm sure no matter what your age you love your children dearly. But having a child when you are a teenager is very hard, my mom went through a lot and gave up a lot when she had me. This of course can also be applied to single moms as well and I'm speaking from experience. I guess when you are talking about teenagers you are referring to a broad range 13-18 and you could even look at it from that perspective. No way do I think a 13, 14,15 year old has any business raising a child, but 17 and 18 doesn't seem as big of a deal, but I still think at that age it's hard. Many girls don't have a clue what they are getting themselves in to and many rely too much on their parents. That's what angers me more than anything, when I see a teenager who has had a kid and is out all the time (never with their child), and who relies on their parents to take care of their child. I've seen that happen a lot when I was in high school....some girls acted as if they didn't even have a child. I am not personally speaking about anyone on here, obviously mothers on here really value their children.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
June 22nd, 2006, 05:11 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
I can understand what you're saying. One girl I know is always partying, takes her 6 month old daughter WITH HER to parties, and does drugs in front of her child! I've called child services on her, but they still haven't taken her daughter away. It makes me so angry that she does that.

Now, I will admit, that there are times when I ask my parents to take care of my son so I can go out with my friends and just have some time away where I can relax. They take him usually on Friday nights for me, and I usually am home by midnight. I am the type of person that if I don't get out every once in awhile to spend time with my friends; I go nuts. I don't shove my son on my parents though like some girls out there.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
June 22nd, 2006, 06:47 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
Quote:
COPY AND PASTED FROM WHAT I WROTE EARLIER IN TEEN MOMMIES FORUM:

And like another girl said "there are heaps of older woman who are not good mothers". But they get excuses "oh Im stressed out"...........and everyone just shrugs and says "we hear ya there".Becuz their older and they think they know everything cuz there 35 etc.[/b]
I had my first son at 23 and am now 26. I consider myself a young mommy but for this debate, I assume that I am considered one of the older mommies. I find it amusing that you say that because we are older we think that we know everything. I find that the older I get, the more I realize how LITTLE I know, and I now know that there will always be someone older and wiser than I am. I enjoy hearing the opinion of those older and wiser than me. When making a decision whether about childrearing, finances, or whatever, I like to consult someone with more experience than me, I research, research, research, weigh all of the risks, and then make the decision that is right for me and my family, but I put a lot of weight on the experiences of those older and smarter than me.

Looking back, yes, I was a very mature teenager. I moved out on my own and was completely self-sufficient when I turned 18 even tho I hadn't yet graduated high school. I finished high school, started my career in finance and continued going to college. I bought my house when I was 19 years old and got married when I was 20. I thought I was soooo mature and grown up. Compared to most of the other teenagers I knew, I was. LOL. Looking back now, I know better- I was a baby, I knew a little-enough to support myself and get me by, but I didn't know nearly as much as I know now-and I'm still learning. That statement that you made shows how much growing up you still have to do and 10 years from now, chances are you will look back and laugh at this whole debate and realize how silly you were to say that teen mommies are "JUST AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER THAN OLDER MOMMIES."

My point is, if I had become a teenage mom, I would have been one of the more responsible ones, and I would have been fine and I would have given my kids the best life that I possibly could-BUT I am so thankful that I waited. Being a mommy is hard work and anyone who says it isn't is lying to make themselves look better (another thing teenagers are prone to doing). I could barely handle it at 23 when I was financially secure and in a strong, stable marriage. Yes, I'll admit it, there were a few times that I wished I had waited. It was a HUGE adjustment. Now, of course, I love being a mommy and so thankful every day for my little guys and how blessed I am to be able to be a SAHM, but if I had been a teenage mommy, I would probably regret not waiting for the better part of my young-adulthood.


Please note: Nowhere in my post have I said that I am a better mommy than young moms and nowhere have I said that teenagers are all "bad" moms.
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #14  
June 22nd, 2006, 07:00 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 4,435
Quote:
I can understand what you're saying. One girl I know is always partying, takes her 6 month old daughter WITH HER to parties, and does drugs in front of her child! I've called child services on her, but they still haven't taken her daughter away. It makes me so angry that she does that.

Now, I will admit, that there are times when I ask my parents to take care of my son so I can go out with my friends and just have some time away where I can relax. They take him usually on Friday nights for me, and I usually am home by midnight. I am the type of person that if I don't get out every once in awhile to spend time with my friends; I go nuts. I don't shove my son on my parents though like some girls out there.[/b]
I think that it's important for every parent to have "me" time. You need a break once in a while or you forget how to talk like an adult Andrika, I can understand where you're coming from. I think we all deal with things like that, it's just different stuff, kwim? My SIL's used to make fun of me and be nasty behind my back because I am a SAHM. dh's parents are divorced so we don't see them anymore, thank god but they had this attitude and called me a "lady of leisure" That couldn't be farther from the truth, any mother whether they work in or out of the home, unless you have a live in nanny, knows that that's total BS...but people form these type of opinions anyway. I know that you and I butt heads once in a while...okay, a lot But I have a lot of respect for you and the way you are raising you son. I hope that you know that if anything I said offended you, it was not meant to and it's not personal, kay?
__________________










Angel~9/12/05~with us for 5 weeks</span></span></span>
Reply With Quote
  #15  
June 22nd, 2006, 07:00 PM
CBMS
Guest
Posts: n/a
My previous post was not judgemental to anyone except bad parents. I believe that bad parents come in all colors, ages, shapes, socio-economic statuses, etc...

However, there is research that says that teen parents are at a disadvantage.

Here's some information that I find particularly interesting on this subject:

Quote:
Teen pregnancy is closely linked to poverty and single parenthood. A 1990 study showed that almost one-half of all teenage mothers and over three-quarters of unmarried teen mothers began receiving welfare within five years of the birth of their first child.6 The growth in single-parent families remains the single most important reason for increased poverty among children over the last twenty years, as documented in the 1998 Economic Report of the President. Out-of-wedlock childbearing (as opposed to divorce) is currently the driving force behind the growth in the number of single parents, and half of first out-of-wedlock births are to teens.7 Therefore, reducing teen pregnancy and child-bearing is an obvious place to anchor serious efforts to reduce poverty in future generations.


Teen pregnancy is bad for the child...

Children born to teen mothers suffer from higher rates of low birth weight and related health problems. The proportion of babies with low birth weights born to teens is 21 percent higher than the proportion for mothers age 20-24.8 Low birth weight raises the probabilities of infant death, blindness, deafness, chronic respiratory problems, mental retardation, mental illness, and cerebral palsy. In addition, low birth weight doubles the chances that a child will later be diagnosed as having dyslexia, hyperactivity, or another disability.4




I got pregnant a month before my 17th birthday. I live in an emergency shelter for teen moms. I raise my son alone. In his whole life, his father has only taken care of him by himself one time. He does not pay me child support. My son was born two months early and with a hole in his heart. He requires constant care, so I have little time for myself. I love my son more than anything in the world, but it would have been a lot better if this had happened when I was like 27 instead of 17.






Children of teens often have insufficient health care. Despite having more health problems than the children of older mothers, the children of teen mothers receive less medical care and treatment. In his or her first 14 years, the average child of a teen mother visits a physician and other medical providers an average of 3.8 times per year, compared with 4.3 times for a child of older childbearers.4 And when they do visit medical providers, more of the expenses they incur are paid by others in society. One recent study suggested that the medical expenses paid by society would be reduced dramatically if teenage mothers were to wait until they were older to have their first child.4

Children of teen mothers often receive inadequate parenting. Children born to teen mothers are at higher risk of poor parenting because their mothers - and often their fathers as well - are typically too young to master the demanding job of being a parent. Still growing and developing themselves, teen mothers are often unable to provide the kind of environment that infants and very young children require for optimal development. Recent research, for example, has clarified the critical importance of sensitive parenting and early cognitive stimulation for adequate brain development.4 Given the importance of careful nuturing and stimulation in the first three years of life, the burden born by babies with parents who are too young to be in this role is especially great.

Children with adolescent parents often fall victim to abuse and neglect. A recent analysis found that there are 110 reported incidents of abuse and neglect per 1,000 families headed by a young teen mother. By contrast, in families where the mothers delay childbearing until their early twenties, the rate is less than half this level - or 51 incidents per 1,000 families.4 Similarly, rates of foster care placement are significantly higher for children whose mothers are under 18. In fact, over half of foster care placements of children with these young mothers could be averted by delaying child-bearing, thereby saving taxpayers nearly $1 billion annually in foster care costs alone.4

Children of teenagers often suffer from poor school performance. Children of teens are 50 percent more likely to repeat a grade; they perform much worse on standardized tests; and ultimately they are less likely to complete high school than if their mothers had delayed childbearing.6[/b]
^ taken from:

https://www.teenpregnancy.org/whycare/sowhat.asp


Now, my sister got pregnant at 14, had her baby at 15 and a half, and she was, in all honesty, a horrible young mom. She got it together a few years later (she now has six kids), but as a result, she has never had physical custody of her oldest daughter--my parents were the legal guardians and she still lives with them when she's not at college--that they pay for. She is a great kid, though, and she's in college getting straight A's. But it certainly isn't because of my sister, unfortunately.

I know of some teen moms who have beat the odds, but the horrible, ugly truth is that statistics are against teen parents.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
June 22nd, 2006, 07:27 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
I can understand what you're saying. One girl I know is always partying, takes her 6 month old daughter WITH HER to parties, and does drugs in front of her child! I've called child services on her, but they still haven't taken her daughter away. It makes me so angry that she does that.

Now, I will admit, that there are times when I ask my parents to take care of my son so I can go out with my friends and just have some time away where I can relax. They take him usually on Friday nights for me, and I usually am home by midnight. I am the type of person that if I don't get out every once in awhile to spend time with my friends; I go nuts. I don't shove my son on my parents though like some girls out there.[/b]
I think that it's important for every parent to have "me" time. You need a break once in a while or you forget how to talk like an adult Andrika, I can understand where you're coming from. I think we all deal with things like that, it's just different stuff, kwim? My SIL's used to make fun of me and be nasty behind my back because I am a SAHM. dh's parents are divorced so we don't see them anymore, thank god but they had this attitude and called me a "lady of leisure" That couldn't be farther from the truth, any mother whether they work in or out of the home, unless you have a live in nanny, knows that that's total BS...but people form these type of opinions anyway. I know that you and I butt heads once in a while...okay, a lot But I have a lot of respect for you and the way you are raising you son. I hope that you know that if anything I said offended you, it was not meant to and it's not personal, kay?
[/b]
There were a few things you said that offended me, but I know it wasn't personal and I know that you were backing the statistics. I hate the studies, but I know that regarding teen pregnancy, they are true; I just think that maybe they exaggerate the problem, at least in regards to where *I* live. I know in other parts of the country it's a really bad problem, but the place where I live, teen moms really do work hard to raise themselves up, and not become a statistic. At least that's what I have noticed.

I respect you very much as well, and I think you are a very intelligent woman even though I still think Bush is an idiot. teehee. It's all good. I'm over it now, and looking back, I see you guys were mostly right. I just got emotional because being a teen mom, I felt like I was being attacked, even though I know it was not directed at me.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
June 22nd, 2006, 07:36 PM
CJMOM209
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I can understand what you're saying. One girl I know is always partying, takes her 6 month old daughter WITH HER to parties, and does drugs in front of her child! I've called child services on her, but they still haven't taken her daughter away. It makes me so angry that she does that.

Now, I will admit, that there are times when I ask my parents to take care of my son so I can go out with my friends and just have some time away where I can relax. They take him usually on Friday nights for me, and I usually am home by midnight. I am the type of person that if I don't get out every once in awhile to spend time with my friends; I go nuts. I don't shove my son on my parents though like some girls out there.[/b]

Oh I totally understand that. I don't have a problem at all with mothers who go out, you need that once in awhile. I was a single mom and still living at home at 23 and my parents let me go out once a month, which I thought was a little harsh! But I had a friend who was 20 and she got to go out whenever she wanted which just infuriated me. Looking back though, I see that my parents were only trying to make me a good mother so that I didn't end up being one of those mothers that I hate. Does that make sense? LOL. I guess this is a little off the topic, sorry everyone!

I wish more teen moms were like you. Obviously, you are a good mother and I respect you for having your child and overcoming the odds and changing what the statistics. say. But I have just seen the evidence that support the statistics against teen parents. I wish it wasn't that way at all. I don't know your personal situation, but many teen moms become mothers because they are uneducated or they don't understand the reality of caring for a child (especially the 13 and 14 year olds).

May I also add, that all mothers will make mistakes no matter what age they are.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
June 22nd, 2006, 07:38 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 4,435
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I can understand what you're saying. One girl I know is always partying, takes her 6 month old daughter WITH HER to parties, and does drugs in front of her child! I've called child services on her, but they still haven't taken her daughter away. It makes me so angry that she does that.

Now, I will admit, that there are times when I ask my parents to take care of my son so I can go out with my friends and just have some time away where I can relax. They take him usually on Friday nights for me, and I usually am home by midnight. I am the type of person that if I don't get out every once in awhile to spend time with my friends; I go nuts. I don't shove my son on my parents though like some girls out there.[/b]
I think that it's important for every parent to have "me" time. You need a break once in a while or you forget how to talk like an adult Andrika, I can understand where you're coming from. I think we all deal with things like that, it's just different stuff, kwim? My SIL's used to make fun of me and be nasty behind my back because I am a SAHM. dh's parents are divorced so we don't see them anymore, thank god but they had this attitude and called me a "lady of leisure" That couldn't be farther from the truth, any mother whether they work in or out of the home, unless you have a live in nanny, knows that that's total BS...but people form these type of opinions anyway. I know that you and I butt heads once in a while...okay, a lot But I have a lot of respect for you and the way you are raising you son. I hope that you know that if anything I said offended you, it was not meant to and it's not personal, kay?
[/b]
There were a few things you said that offended me, but I know it wasn't personal and I know that you were backing the statistics. I hate the studies, but I know that regarding teen pregnancy, they are true; I just think that maybe they exaggerate the problem, at least in regards to where *I* live. I know in other parts of the country it's a really bad problem, but the place where I live, teen moms really do work hard to raise themselves up, and not become a statistic. At least that's what I have noticed.

I respect you very much as well, and I think you are a very intelligent woman even though I still think Bush is an idiot. teehee. It's all good. I'm over it now, and looking back, I see you guys were mostly right. I just got emotional because being a teen mom, I felt like I was being attacked, even though I know it was not directed at me.
[/b]

Ha-ha, Bush! You made me LOL! Dh is like, what's so funny? That's why I don't advertise my conservative republican voter registration card I think sometimes we get so passionate about the way we feel that it's hard to remember that there's another person on the other side who's life could be the complete opposite of yours and sometimes like you said, it all has to do with how you were raised, the town you live in, life experiences, etc. Maybe it's because I'm old Honestly, there are a few things that I don't even discuss with dh because he refuses to see things MY way You're still my peep ya know!!
__________________










Angel~9/12/05~with us for 5 weeks</span></span></span>
Reply With Quote
  #19  
June 22nd, 2006, 09:30 PM
JuneBug2006's Avatar Forever missing Gracie
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Posts: 5,897
Im not going to get too involved in this debate because this is one that has bothered me ever since my time as a teen mom...

Like others have said, age does not not make a parent/mother.

You can be mature and responsible at any age; you can be immature and irresponsible at any age....So does it really matter what age your children are born to you at?

Sure, there are horrible young moms...But I have seen my fair share of horrible moms in their 20s, 30s, and 40s......
Parents are parents and parents come in all shapes, sizes, ages, races... yadi yadi ya........
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:13 PM.