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What is crying it out?

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  • 1 Post By BittyBugsMama
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June 29th, 2011, 02:20 PM
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Okay, so maybe this isn't really a debate (or maybe it is) but I just want to see where people stand on what they think crying it out is.

If I go change my two year old's diaper while my 5 week old is screaming in his crib, am I letting him CIO? Or does CIO only pertain to somebody who uses it for sleep training or to try to get their children to self soothe?

For those completely opposed to CIO, where do you draw the line? Is ANY crying allowed or does a child need to be picked up every single time?
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Last edited by Babybear4; June 29th, 2011 at 02:24 PM.
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June 29th, 2011, 02:25 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If I am in the middle of doing something, no - I don't run to her side. However, if shes getting worked up I will go and get her. She is allowed to cry but its never for more than 2 - 3 mins for the most part.
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June 29th, 2011, 02:36 PM
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I think CIO only pertains to sleep training or self soothing. A baby crying while you dealing with an immediate need isn't crying it out - it's just life with more than one kid!

I'm not opposed to CIO (which I define as letting my baby fuss a few minutes at bedtime before going in to soothe. My kids have always had a fussy cry when they are just tired that sounds different to me than their "I have an ISSUE" cry.). Everyone has different limits and definitions I think, though. I'd never let my kid cry for a prolonged period without going to them.

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June 29th, 2011, 02:58 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think CIO is training your kid that you're not coming back and they need to deal with it themselves.

Suzi I do the same thing with Sebastian. We have the same bedtime routine every night, dinner, bath, brush teeth, bed. Usually he's pretty upset by me brushing his teeth, pretty much have to sit on him to do it like a normal two year old.. and he cries for about a minute when I put him in bed. He doesn't scream out of a need that I am ignoring.

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June 29th, 2011, 03:37 PM
Jintana's Avatar Dragoness
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IMO, CIO is crying it OUT, which means that no/minimal attention is given while still crying. I can't do that with my kid.

Leaving a kid to scream for some time, while in a time out, while physically unable to assist two, for a mercy restroom break, for five minutes.. none of these are crying it OUT to me.

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June 29th, 2011, 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Jintana View Post
IMO, CIO is crying it OUT, which means that no/minimal attention is given while still crying. I can't do that with my kid.

Leaving a kid to scream for some time, while in a time out, while physically unable to assist two, for a mercy restroom break, for five minutes.. none of these are crying it OUT to me.

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June 29th, 2011, 06:12 PM
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To me, crying it out is exactly that. Crying. It. Out. As in, ignoring their cries on purpose in order to "train" them to self soothe.

If I'm in the middle of something I can stop (like the dishes) I will go calm her down, nurse her, and sit her back down again. The dishes are not more important. Plus, I just can't stand to hear her crying, it touches a nerve (more like a heartstring ;D) and I have to make her okay again.
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June 29th, 2011, 06:57 PM
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Crying it out is using crying as a means to learn how to self-soothe and sleep longer periods at a time. It's a training tool rather than a happenstance.
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June 29th, 2011, 08:12 PM
Undomesticated Housewife's Avatar Master(de)bater
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CIO, to me, is allowing the child to cry--even when in need--for the sole purpose of trying to teach the child to STTN.

I can't remember if it was Gracey or Evan (they were both still small children at the same time), but I think it was Gracey...anyway, she (if it was her) would start crying every single night for about 2 minutes. She was never fully awake though and I learned after trial and error that picking her up=fully awake, fussy baby...leaving her alone as long as it didn't last longer than a minute or 2=baby falling right back to sleep. I eventually could tell the difference in her cries & didn't have to wait to go pick her up if I knew it was an awake and in need cry.

Some may call that CIO, but whatevs.
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June 30th, 2011, 11:00 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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Tanja still randomly do that, she will sit up right and cry for about a minute. Middle of no where she does it and she is actually asleep while doing it but don't seem to have any sort of nightmare or anything so don't know why.

ITA that CIO is exactly what it says, crying it out.
Jintana said it perfectly.
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July 1st, 2011, 05:19 PM
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July 1st, 2011, 06:03 PM
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CIO is a method used to train the child to self-soothe. If you are really letting them CIO, then usually it's just a few minutes. If you are letting them go for long periods of time, that is not CIO, that's neglect.

Those who do CIO all agree not to let the kids needs be ignored. The idea is to meet all of the child's needs. For example: A 2 yo not wanting to go to bed and you letting them cry for a few minutes after they've done everything in their normal routine is not the same thing as letting a sick 2 yo cry because you don't want to tend to them.
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November 28th, 2012, 11:06 AM
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That's a good question. I never really thought about it.
I think of crying it out to just to have to do with sleeping but maybe it could be any time.
I had lots of trouble with my daughter's sleep and ended up letting her do a little bit of crying it out.
At the time, I googled like crazy to find some help and couldn't find any.

So, I wrote a post about what I would have liked to have known.
If you need CIO help- how to handle any amount of it, tips about structured CIO, etc google "Never Listless Cry It Out." my blog should be the first one to pop up.

Good luck!
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January 17th, 2013, 04:24 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's leaving them to cry until they stop, intentionally, for the purpose of "training them" not to cry. Kind of like how when you want to learn not to read, you read everyday. Wait, that's not right. Okay, maybe it's like how if you want to train yourself not to junk food, to just keep eating it until you get sick of it and decide to stop eating it so someone will bring you a salad. No, that can't be right either

All sarcasm aside, some people think CIO means you can "soothe" the baby every few minutes/check on the baby, but don't give them anything until the crying completely stops and they fall asleep and then wake up again.

Other people, like my neighbor, believe CIO means leaving the baby to cry until it stops, and completely ignoring their cries the entire time. Unfortunately, one of her children ended up overheating and dying while "CIO" she thought the baby had just finally fallen asleep and didn't find out until the next morning that the baby had died. She didn't have more kids after that, but she said she thought it was good I didn't CIO and that had been her reason why.
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