Log In Sign Up

Do fathers have a right to know if they have a child?


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 27th, 2006, 06:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,201
Ok I was watching Maury (I know stupid show) and this woman revealed to her husband she cheated and he may not be the dad, anyways he wasnt the dad. They decided together to "end the search" and he would just be the dad anyways. That kind irks me, I think the childs father DESERVES to know he has a child out there somewhere, wouldnt you want to know? Also a friend of mine put her baby up for adoption, which was a good choice given her age and situation but she never even told the father he had a child, I just dont get how people can do that and feel ok with it!? In 20 years from now that child will be an adult wanting to meet their real parents etc...

Sorry for the rant but anyways do you think the birth father deserves to know he has a child regardless?
__________________
Kris and Eric Expecting Our First Stubborn Baby!!

Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 27th, 2006, 06:57 PM
Ashes78
Guest
Posts: n/a
In most cases yes, the father should know. Now, if the father was extremely absuive, the woman was raped, etc. I can understand them not telling the father.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 27th, 2006, 06:59 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
It honestly depends on the situation.

You gotta realize, a LOT of guys don't care if they have kids or not; especially if they're younger guys. We don't know the whole story with this family.

(BTW, I love Maury )
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 27th, 2006, 07:02 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
Posts: 717
They have a right to know.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 27th, 2006, 07:05 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
I think they have a right to know, unless maybe if they were raped or something like that. Even then, I still kinda think the father deserves to know.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 27th, 2006, 07:27 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 4,435
Quote:
Ok I was watching Maury (I know stupid show) and this woman revealed to her husband she cheated and he may not be the dad, anyways he wasnt the dad. They decided together to "end the search" and he would just be the dad anyways. That kind irks me, I think the childs father DESERVES to know he has a child out there somewhere, wouldnt you want to know? Also a friend of mine put her baby up for adoption, which was a good choice given her age and situation but she never even told the father he had a child, I just dont get how people can do that and feel ok with it!? In 20 years from now that child will be an adult wanting to meet their real parents etc...

Sorry for the rant but anyways do you think the birth father deserves to know he has a child regardless?[/b]
I think they deserve to know, unless they are abusive or otherwise unfit. BTW, How many men did this woman sleep with if she didn't know who the father is?
__________________










Angel~9/12/05~with us for 5 weeks</span></span></span>
Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 27th, 2006, 08:12 PM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,497
I agree with most everyone on this one. I think the father should know unless under special situations.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 27th, 2006, 09:43 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
I also agree the father should know. She should look but if that bio father doesn't want to be a part of the child's life, then yes the husband should raise the child as his own. But at least give the bio father a chance to decide what he wants to do.
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 27th, 2006, 09:52 PM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
I agree they have the right to know. Whether they aknowledge it or not is upto them.

However on Maury it will be like 15 men tested still havent found the father. That makes me wonder why she was sleeping with so many men. Was it for money? Because I think if someone is prostituting then babies arent really part of the deal.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
June 27th, 2006, 11:55 PM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
I love the ones where the wife says she only cheated on him once, only to find out that husband and the one she had an affair with ISN'T the father of her child... and then it just goes on and on and on... one of them had like 11 guys tested and she's still going!

I'm addicted to Maury. It's sad...

Anyways I do agree the father should know, I just honestly think it depends on the situation.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
June 28th, 2006, 12:16 AM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I love the ones where the wife says she only cheated on him once, only to find out that husband and the one she had an affair with ISN'T the father of her child... and then it just goes on and on and on... one of them had like 11 guys tested and she's still going!

I'm addicted to Maury. It's sad...

Anyways I do agree the father should know, I just honestly think it depends on the situation.[/b]
I feel bad for the men who want to be fathers and then find out they are not. Especially if the child is older. Imagine putting in years of your life into a child and then find out they are not yours. That must be so painful. In those siutations if you know that the biological father would not want anythig to do with their child I would almost want to just leave things alone.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
June 28th, 2006, 12:22 AM
irishxrose
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
I love the ones where the wife says she only cheated on him once, only to find out that husband and the one she had an affair with ISN'T the father of her child... and then it just goes on and on and on... one of them had like 11 guys tested and she's still going!

I'm addicted to Maury. It's sad...

Anyways I do agree the father should know, I just honestly think it depends on the situation.[/b]
I feel bad for the men who want to be fathers and then find out they are not. Especially if the child is older. Imagine putting in years of your life into a child and then find out they are not yours. That must be so painful. In those siutations if you know that the biological father would not want anythig to do with their child I would almost want to just leave things alone.
[/b]
I also feel bad. It makes me want to cry.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
June 28th, 2006, 12:42 AM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
BTW, How many men did this woman sleep with if she didn't know who the father is? [/b]
Havent you ever watched Maury?? lol

23 men tested! Who is the father!?

Its ridiculous. I think either these women are prostitutes or were prostitutes or they seriously dont understand their reproductive cycle!

Quote:
I have cried [/b]
Me too Jodi!!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
June 28th, 2006, 12:52 AM
lilbluedolphin's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 961
I think that the (sperm donor) should know. Unless there is an issue about the safety of the mother and/or the child.

The SD of my child knows that I am pregnant. Now he hasnt done anything or offered to help me in any way, shape or form. In fact when I called and told him I said to him you can do with this information what you wish. I just wanted him to know that there was soon going to be a little person on the plant that has some of his DNA. That I didnt want him to be shocked when he got the letter from the state requiring him to come in for a paternity test.

one of my best friends dad friends just found out that he has a 17 yr old daughter. He only found out cause she went looking for him. He felt horrible and says he wished he would have know cause he would have tried to be involved and would have helped support her.
__________________
<div align="center"><div align="center"></div><div align="center">~~Thank you Samuelsmommy for my adorable siggy~~</div><div align="center">~~Thank you Ragmama for my new blinkies~~</div></span></span></span></span><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #17  
June 28th, 2006, 04:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,201
Yeah I agree in the case of rape abuse etc no but other than that theres no excuse no matter how many guys you hooked up with!

(kinda makes you think eh? They tested say 11 men, theres only 1 weeks in a cycle you can get pregnant and she slept with them all then? thats more than one a day besides her husband!!! definately a prostitat LOL) (my DH calls prostitutes that)
__________________
Kris and Eric Expecting Our First Stubborn Baby!!

Reply With Quote
  #18  
June 28th, 2006, 04:55 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
I mean, it's hard to tell with those shows-you never know the whole story (goes back to the judging thing) And as far as not letting the "real" father know, it's not something I would do personally, but the biological father in her case could have been a jerk who didn't care one way or the other that he had a child out there (like my baby's father) and wanted nothing to do with it from the get go. Or he could have been a drunken one night stand who she doesn't even know...in any case, I think it's sometimes more in the best interest of the child that they do exactly what they did-continue on as if nothing happened.I'd be more concerned with the welfare of the child than the potential father, and itt could be confusing and disruptive for them if another man was suddenly brought into the picture.
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
June 28th, 2006, 05:22 AM
lea27's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 104
Yes they should know and be obligated to pay child support, whether or no not they want the child in their life.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
June 28th, 2006, 07:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
Quote:
I mean, it's hard to tell with those shows-you never know the whole story (goes back to the judging thing) And as far as not letting the "real" father know, it's not something I would do personally, but the biological father in her case could have been a jerk who didn't care one way or the other that he had a child out there (like my baby's father) and wanted nothing to do with it from the get go. Or he could have been a drunken one night stand who she doesn't even know...in any case, I think it's sometimes more in the best interest of the child that they do exactly what they did-continue on as if nothing happened.I'd be more concerned with the welfare of the child than the potential father, and itt could be confusing and disruptive for them if another man was suddenly brought into the picture.[/b]
I agree. What is the point of getting all these tests? The woman is already married, her husband KNOWS the baby isn't his, and he is still fine with that and has stepped up to be a dad.

Why bother involving the sperm donor in that case? The kid already has a dad, for all practical purposes, there is no reason to further confuse the child or make the situation more complicated than it needs to be. And since she is married, I assume she really doesn't need the child support.

Her current husband can just adopt the kid.
__________________



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:51 AM.