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Bachelor parties....


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  #1  
June 29th, 2006, 10:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: San Angelo, Texas
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Well I'm getting married in November (our daughter is due in October) and I was just wondering how all of you felt about men and bachelor parties. I'm not opposed to my fiance going and having a guy's night out, but we are having a few issues with the whole stripper part of the party. What are all of your opinions?
Amanda
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  #2  
June 29th, 2006, 10:29 AM
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Location: Ontario
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as long as theres no touching, im not that worried, though I know hes told me in the past his friend paid for a lap dance and it made me angry inside, so i guess I would be kinda pissed lol. wow im totally no help eh.
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  #3  
June 29th, 2006, 10:36 AM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just saw this and I'm going to respond quickly b/c I have to get back to yard work, yuck. I didn't have a stripper and neither did dh. This thread will probably go the way of the stripper thread we had before. FWIW, I can't stand strippers or the idea that men think they need one last boob or crotch in their face before they get married. I think it's a stupid idea and it's gross. If you have to have that before you get married, then maybe you shouldn't get married

As far as no touching, they're still looking at a mostly and sometimes totally nude woman in sexual positions...where do you think their mind would go....not to their df, that's for sure. I think it's disrespectful.
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  #4  
June 29th, 2006, 10:40 AM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think they are fine as long as there are no hookers or sex involved. My husband has been to a strip club a few times. I totally trust hinm and I am secure that he loves me and wouldn't cheat.
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  #5  
June 29th, 2006, 10:43 AM
chlodoll
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i dont see a problem stripper or no stripper. if i had one i would want a stripper at mine lol
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  #6  
June 29th, 2006, 10:54 AM
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I think it's totally fine. As long as there's no sex being had! I think if you're secure enough in the relationship (meaning knowing the s/o wouldn't cheat), what's the harm? It's mostly just tradition anyway.

My first marriage...we started our bachelor/bachelorette parties together. We rented a school bus. Halfway through the evening, the guys split from us...them going to see their stippers, and us...going to see ours! I must say, I loved every minute of it!!
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  #7  
June 29th, 2006, 11:28 AM
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As long as it's equal-opportunity fun! If my husband-to-be is getting lap dances, I know for danm sure I'm gettin some too! Besides, I would hope that the guy I marry is someone I trust enough to not do anything stupid!

And lets not bash strippers here-one of my best friends is an exotic dancer and she's a great girl!
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  #8  
June 29th, 2006, 11:58 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think bachelor parties are OK as long as there are boundaries. If the groom-to-be sleeps with the stripper, that is his fault, not the stripper's fault. Of course since it is in the fall, maybe the guys could all go to a sporting event or something and skip the stripper. Just because it is a bachelor party, it may be tradition but not a requirement.

Of course you could also have a bachelor/bachelorette combined party and you can both spend the time together with all your friends. Some people do that.

Good luck!
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  #9  
June 29th, 2006, 12:06 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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We had a combined party in New Braunfels before our wedding. We rented a cabin and invited all of our friends, drank, hung out, floated the river, and made an entire weekend out of it. I wore my party veil on the river and got lots of drinks and had a great time.

I personally don't have a problem with strip clubs, I trust DH. He actually never goes to them though, I think it is because they are not "taboo" lol.
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  #10  
June 29th, 2006, 12:43 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
As long as it's equal-opportunity fun! If my husband-to-be is getting lap dances, I know for danm sure I'm gettin some too! Besides, I would hope that the guy I marry is someone I trust enough to not do anything stupid!

And lets not bash strippers here-one of my best friends is an exotic dancer and she's a great girl![/b]

This is a place to share opinions hun, I have the right to my opinions about strippers I'm not afraid of my husband cheating on me, I just don't see the point. IMHO, it's a stupid tradition. Serously, what's the point of it? It's honestly okay for your s/o to be thinking about having sex with another woman, one that's naked with their crotch in his face? If you don't think they're thinking about sex..... My dh should pay to see other women naked because?..........???
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  #11  
June 29th, 2006, 12:51 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
There are lots of things to do out there, so I think it should be up to the two people involved. If either one of them is not comfortable with strippers, then none should be hired.

Other ideas for bachelor parties would include: going camping as a group, or hiring out a bar/nightclub, or hiring a sailboat for the day, getting some hotel rooms and throwing a big party, etc. It's about having fun with your friends.
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  #12  
June 29th, 2006, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
This is a place to share opinions hun, I have the right to my opinions about strippers I'm not afraid of my husband cheating on me, I just don't see the point. IMHO, it's a stupid tradition. Serously, what's the point of it? It's honestly okay for your s/o to be thinking about having sex with another woman, one that's naked with their crotch in his face? If you don't think they're thinking about sex..... My dh should pay to see other women naked because?..........???[/b]
I think the point is for those guys who feel like their life will be totally different once married. I think we probably don't see as much of this now, since so many people co-habitate before marriage. And in my case...dh can go to a strip club any time he wants (which I think takes some of the fun out of it for him )
And if the guys really think that girl gives a crap about what he thinks, and isn't just after the dollar he'll put in her g-string, he's pretty freakin stupid!! And as long as he comes home for sex with me...I don't really care what first gets his blood boiling. But, then again, that's me. Not everyone is like me.
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  #13  
June 29th, 2006, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
And as long as he comes home for sex with me...I don't really care what first gets his blood boiling. But, then again, that's me. Not everyone is like me.[/b]
I hold the opposite view. I would not want him to get turned on somewhere ELSE and then come to me, wanting (not to be close to ME as an expression of love) to get off. That would feel like he was using me.

Totally different from how it would feel if: we had a fun night out together, and connect because of conversation, or dancing, or what have you, and then THAT connection between US leads to sex.

He would be connecting with someone else, and then coming to me to get off.
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  #14  
June 29th, 2006, 01:10 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
And as long as he comes home for sex with me...I don't really care what first gets his blood boiling. But, then again, that's me. Not everyone is like me.[/b]
I hold the opposite view. I would not want him to get turned on somewhere ELSE and then come to me, wanting (not to be close to ME as an expression of love) to get off. That would feel like he was using me.

Totally different from how it would feel if: we had a fun night out together, and connect because of conversation, or dancing, or what have you, and then THAT connection between US leads to sex.

He would be connecting with someone else, and then coming to me to get off.
[/b]
SCgirl, I agree. So you don't care if he gets turned on and horny and comes home and uses you to get off? I would like to know too.
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  #15  
June 29th, 2006, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
As long as it's equal-opportunity fun! If my husband-to-be is getting lap dances, I know for danm sure I'm gettin some too! Besides, I would hope that the guy I marry is someone I trust enough to not do anything stupid!

And lets not bash strippers here-one of my best friends is an exotic dancer and she's a great girl![/b]

This is a place to share opinions hun, I have the right to my opinions about strippers I'm not afraid of my husband cheating on me, I just don't see the point. IMHO, it's a stupid tradition. Serously, what's the point of it? It's honestly okay for your s/o to be thinking about having sex with another woman, one that's naked with their crotch in his face? If you don't think they're thinking about sex..... My dh should pay to see other women naked because?..........???
[/b]
Like it or not, your S/O does think about sex with other women-all guys do! Personally, yeah it would bother me a little bit, but I also know that it's just a fantasy, and I'm secure enough with myself to let it happen for ONE NIGHT....now if he makes a habit out of it, thats a different story! Plus, like I said my friend is a stripper and I know the last thing on THEIR mind at least is the guy who they are dancing for!
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  #16  
June 29th, 2006, 01:12 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
And as long as he comes home for sex with me...I don't really care what first gets his blood boiling. But, then again, that's me. Not everyone is like me.[/b]
I hold the opposite view. I would not want him to get turned on somewhere ELSE and then come to me, wanting (not to be close to ME as an expression of love) to get off. That would feel like he was using me.

Totally different from how it would feel if: we had a fun night out together, and connect because of conversation, or dancing, or what have you, and then THAT connection between US leads to sex.

He would be connecting with someone else, and then coming to me to get off.
[/b]
SCgirl, I agree. So you don't care if he gets turned on and horny and comes home and uses you to get off? I would like to know too.
[/b]
No, I would care, I wouldn't like it, personally. That is what I just said.
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  #17  
June 29th, 2006, 01:22 PM
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The reason I started this post is because my fiance's friends want him to have personal strippers at his bachelor party and I'm just not comfortable with that. I trust my fiance 110%, but I just don't like thinking about another girl rubbing herself on him. I wouldn't be comfortable with another girl rubbing herself on him with clothes, much less half naked. I think the whole "last night of freedom" thing is stupid because IMO it ended when we made a committment to each other. I really like the idea of like a co-party but I'm having a hard time talking my fiance out of this whole bachelor party thing. I feel that if he knows I feel so strongly about it then he should just agree to have a guy's night out without having to see other women naked.
Amanda
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  #18  
June 29th, 2006, 01:25 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(AmberL @ Jun 29 2006, 03:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
And as long as he comes home for sex with me...I don't really care what first gets his blood boiling. But, then again, that's me. Not everyone is like me.[/b]
I hold the opposite view. I would not want him to get turned on somewhere ELSE and then come to me, wanting (not to be close to ME as an expression of love) to get off. That would feel like he was using me.

Totally different from how it would feel if: we had a fun night out together, and connect because of conversation, or dancing, or what have you, and then THAT connection between US leads to sex.

He would be connecting with someone else, and then coming to me to get off.
[/b]
http://www.justmommies.com/boards/style_im...images/bold.gif
Bold
SCgirl, I agree. So you don't care if he gets turned on and horny and comes home and uses you to get off? I would like to know too.
[/b][/quote]

No, I would care, I wouldn't like it, personally. That is what I just said.
[/b][/quote]

No, I guess what I said was confusing I know you feel that way, I was agreeing with you...I was asking AmberL why she felt that way.


Quote:
Like it or not, your S/O does think about sex with other women-all guys do! Personally, yeah it would bother me a little bit, but I also know that it's just a fantasy, and I'm secure enough with myself to let it happen for ONE NIGHT....now if he makes a habit out of it, thats a different story! Plus, like I said my friend is a stripper and I know the last thing on THEIR mind at least is the guy who they are dancing for![/b]
I'm sorry, maybe it's because I'm 32 years old and I've been married for almost 11 years. My husband does not think about having sex with other women. Maybe that's okay in some marriages but not in mine and if dh was here, he would tell you the same. I'm not dillusional, that's how we are. It has nothingto do with being secure or insecure. In my relationship it has to do with respect. I never said the stripper was thinking about sex with anyone.

Quote:
The reason I started this post is because my fiance's friends want him to have personal strippers at his bachelor party and I'm just not comfortable with that. I trust my fiance 110%, but I just don't like thinking about another girl rubbing herself on him. I wouldn't be comfortable with another girl rubbing herself on him with clothes, much less half naked. I think the whole "last night of freedom" thing is stupid because IMO it ended when we made a committment to each other. I really like the idea of like a co-party but I'm having a hard time talking my fiance out of this whole bachelor party thing. I feel that if he knows I feel so strongly about it then he should just agree to have a guy's night out without having to see other women naked.
Amanda[/b]
You're right Amanda, stick to your guns on this one. A lot of guys, their friends will pressure them into having strippers whether they want to or not. It happened with dh. Explain to him why you feel the way you do. How would he feel about a man in a g-string rubbing his stuff all over you?
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  #19  
June 29th, 2006, 01:58 PM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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lol easiest way for me to take part in this debate is just to say that I agree with LouLouMom and SCgirl lol

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  #20  
June 29th, 2006, 02:08 PM
irishxrose
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I told my DF that I'm fine with him going to a strip club for his party, but he is NOT to have a party at our friends' house and have a private stripper. If he has a private party, I know one of our friends will pressure him to touch her and all that stuff, and at strip clubs the guys are NOT allowed to touch. Girls are though. Anyways we love going to strip clubs together, and I am perfectly fine with him going with the guys. We had a conversation about this on Monday when we went to one - groups of guys usually go to strip clubs for bachelor parties/birthdays/etc to get out and be guys. It's that simple. They want to sit around, talk about guy stuff (which they can't really talk about in front of us because one way or another we'll get pissed off), have a beer and see something naked. And I have no problem with that. My fiance is coming home to me. He doesn't go there to get horny, he goes there to spend time with his friends.

Quote:
This is a place to share opinions hun, I have the right to my opinions about strippers I'm not afraid of my husband cheating on me, I just don't see the point. IMHO, it's a stupid tradition. Serously, what's the point of it? It's honestly okay for your s/o to be thinking about having sex with another woman, one that's naked with their crotch in his face? If you don't think they're thinking about sex..... My dh should pay to see other women naked because?..........???[/b]
When my fiance sees a stripper, he thinks of me doing the stuff they are doing to him and thinking of having sex with ME. He doesn't think of having sex with the stripper. And like I said before, he doesn't really go there for the naked women, he goes there to have fun with his friends. Stupid I guess, but I like strip clubs too, and I will be having a female stripper at my bachelorette party, so it doesn't really bug me all that much.
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