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  #1  
June 29th, 2006, 05:28 PM
Eka09M
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I've heard a lot of moms who breastfeed their children say that they bond with their infant more because they are breastfed (I've heard it a few times here on JM and also in other places...). I personally don't agree with that at all! I did not breastfeed...... I chose not to and I knew I wasn't going to before I even got pregnant, it was my choice. I feel I bonded VERY well with my daughter while feeding her a bottle. I always held her, cuddled her, sang to her, talked to her, rubbed her skin, etc while feeding her a bottle. It was VERY bonding and I enjoyed it very much! The only difference in the way I fed my daughter and the way mother's breastfeed was that it was a bottle in her mouth and not a breast nipple. I held her the same way, I feel that I bonded with her the same way. I never once let her sit on the floor with her bottle, lay in bed with her bottle, or proped her bottle up... I was ALWAYS holding and cuddling her. Daddy even got to bond with her during feeding times (he said it was his favorite time with her because they got to just sit there and cuddle) and I feel that is VERY important as well.

So, my question/debate for you is........ do you feel that there is more of a special bond between infants and their mother if they were breastfed or you do think the bonding is equal to a child who was bottle fed?
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  #2  
June 29th, 2006, 05:47 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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I breastfed for only a short time and ended up EPing for 4 1/2 months after that. She is now on formula. My bond with my daughter is amazing and there is no way a BF mother could say they are closer to their child just because they BF. I think "bond" is just another word for "love" and that is basicly saying that you love your child more and are loved more by your child than I am just because you BF. That is just stupid.
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  #3  
June 29th, 2006, 05:53 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So, my question/debate for you is........ do you feel that there is more of a special bond between infants and their mother if they were breastfed or you do think the bonding is equal to a child who was bottle fed?

I think that if you havnt done both, you cant really say for sure. I have done both and I know that it was different. Its not that im less bonded to my bottlefed child, its just a different kind of bond. I have no doubt that bottlefeeding mommies love their children and have excellent bonds with them. BUT there is a chemical difference. Certain hormones are realeased when you are nursing that obviously arnt when you bottlefeed. Again, though I dont think of it as a "better" bond, just a totally different bond.
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  #4  
June 29th, 2006, 05:53 PM
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I can't put my thoughts into words, but overall, I think bonding is bonding, and as long as baby is getting fed, i'm not going to fuss.
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  #5  
June 29th, 2006, 05:55 PM
chlodoll
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I dont know about this. There is much more to bond with your children about then just feeding. I really think its about the way you do it. I think you can bottlefeed and bond, you are probably still doing the bulk of the feeding. There are studies that show that breastfed babies are held more then bottlefed babies though. I dont know! I think we all bond with our babies in our own ways
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  #6  
June 29th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Eka09M
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Quote:
I think that if you havnt done both, you cant really say for sure. I have done both and I know that it was different. Its not that im less bonded to my bottlefed child, its just a different kind of bond. I have no doubt that bottlefeeding mommies love their children and have excellent bonds with them. BUT there is a chemical difference. Certain hormones are realeased when you are nursing that obviously arnt when you bottlefeed. Again, though I dont think of it as a "better" bond, just a totally different bond[/b]
I don't think that the bonding is totally different, I don't think it is different at all......... but thats just me.


Quote:
There are studies that show that breastfed babies are held more then bottlefed babies though. I dont know! I think we all bond with our babies in our own ways[/b]
I understand that there are studies that show that, but my daughter was bottle fed and I don't believe that any breast fed baby was held more than I held my daughter LOL....... my DH used to "yell" (not really yell but I think you ladies get the point) at me for holding Brinlee too much because he thought I was going to "spoil" her... LOL I love my little girl so much!!!!!!!!!
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  #7  
June 29th, 2006, 06:06 PM
chlodoll
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I understand that there are studies that show that, but my daughter was bottle fed and I don't believe that any breast fed baby was held more than I held my daughter LOL....... my DH used to "yell" (not really yell but I think you ladies get the point) at me for holding Brinlee too much because he thought I was going to "spoil" her... LOL I love my little girl so much!!!!!!!!![/b]
Ofcourse everyone is different! I know lots of Mommies no matter what cant put their little ones down. But a newborn baby nurses 18 hours out of 24 in the beginning! Thats alot of holding!
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  #8  
June 29th, 2006, 06:09 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
There are studies that show that breastfed babies are held more then bottlefed babies though. I dont know! I think we all bond with our babies in our own ways[/b]
I held Layla all the time because that was the only way she would sleep. I don't think I put her down for mor than an hour a day in her first three months.
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  #9  
June 29th, 2006, 06:20 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I nursed my son, and then he went to bottles. I can say that I equally bonded with him, I never let him prop a bottle. I think as long as you hold the child while they bottlefeed the bond is just as strong. However the feeling is a little different, but it's not stronger or weaker.
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  #10  
June 29th, 2006, 06:23 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I think that if you havnt done both, you cant really say for sure. I have done both and I know that it was different. Its not that im less bonded to my bottlefed child, its just a different kind of bond. I have no doubt that bottlefeeding mommies love their children and have excellent bonds with them. BUT there is a chemical difference. Certain hormones are realeased when you are nursing that obviously arnt when you bottlefeed. Again, though I dont think of it as a "better" bond, just a totally different bond[/b]
I don't think that the bonding is totally different, I don't think it is different at all......... but thats just me.


[/b][/quote]

Well, how would you know unless you have done both? I have done both, DD was BF for six weeks and then I switched to formula b/c of supply issues. I have been BFing DS for almost 6 months now and it is different (I am not saying FFers aren't bonded). BFing releases oxytocin which increases a mother's feelings of nurturing.
It is not a matter of opinion really, it is a biological fact.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breastfeeding#Bonding
Quote:
Bonding
The maternal bond is strengthened through breastfeeding, with the hormonal releases strengthening the mother's nurturing feelings towards the child. Strengthening the maternal bond is very important as studies show that up to 80% of mothers suffer from some form of postpartum depression, though most cases are very mild. The father can support the mother in a variety of ways and is an important factor in successful breastfeeding. This support can also help to establish the paternal bond in fathers.

Breastfeeding can also greatly affect the personal relationship between the partner and the child. While some fathers may feel left out when the mother is feeding the baby, others may see the whole process as a chance to bond as a family. Breastfeeding, possibly alongside birth-related health problems, takes a lot of time. This may add pressure to the father and the family, because the partner has to care for the mother and also perform tasks she would otherwise do. However, as fathers are often very willing to give this support, this pressure can help to strengthen family bonds.[/b]
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  #11  
June 29th, 2006, 06:41 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I don't think that the bonding is totally different, I don't think it is different at all......... but thats just me.[/b]
But if you havnt done both, than how do you know?? I have done both and there is a difference. But like I said, its just different not better. I dont see how you could disagree with that??
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  #12  
June 29th, 2006, 06:44 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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I HAVE done both and I DON'T see the diffence.
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  #13  
June 29th, 2006, 06:47 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I HAVE done both and I DON'T see the diffence.[/b]
There are exceptions to every rule. How long did you b/f? You said "short time". was that past six weeks, becuase for *me* up until after that I was so stressed I dont think a lot of bonding was going on, lol.
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  #15  
June 29th, 2006, 06:53 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
I HAVE done both and I DON'T see the diffence.[/b]
There are exceptions to every rule. How long did you b/f? You said "short time". was that past six weeks, becuase for *me* up until after that I was so stressed I dont think a lot of bonding was going on, lol.
[/b]

I did it a little over 6 weeks but I pumped for a further 4 1/2 months which produces the same horemones as BF. For me there was no difference.
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  #16  
June 29th, 2006, 06:58 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I did it a little over 6 weeks but I pumped for a further 4 1/2 months which produces the same horemones as BF. For me there was no difference.[/b]
Wow! Great job pumping that long Like I said there are always exceptions, and my experience was with 2 seperate children. I ebf my first ds for 4 months, and this time Im at almost 6 months!
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  #17  
June 29th, 2006, 07:08 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:



I did it a little over 6 weeks but I pumped for a further 4 1/2 months which produces the same horemones as BF. For me there was no difference.[/b]
Wow! Great job pumping that long Like I said there are always exceptions, and my experience was with 2 seperate children. I ebf my first ds for 4 months, and this time Im at almost 6 months!
[/b]

CONGRATS on being so close to 6 months! I plan on sticking to BF with our next child. I just didn't have very good support the first time. Whenever I had a problem BF all the LC did was to say "keep trying". Like that solves my problem. They didn't think I would stick with the pumping either. It was hard but I did it for as long as I could and I am proud of how far we got.
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  #18  
June 29th, 2006, 07:52 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I exclusively pumped for 8 months with my first ds from birth and exclusively bfed my 2nd ds from birth so far for nearly 10 months. I can say, that even tho I was pumping for my first, there is a HUGE difference in the bonding aspect.

Like a pp mentioned, you really cannot comment on this topic unless you have done both with 2 seperate children. Obviously if you bfed for 4 months and then switched to a bottle on the same child, you cannot tell the difference in the bond.

I think there are really 2 variables. #1 being the hormonal/chemical aspect of it. When you bfeed, your body releases a love chemical (the same one that women release during sex) that makes you bond with your baby-I pumped exclusively with my first and it is not the same (although, I did have a strange attachment to my pump-lol j/k). #2 is that when you bfeed, you (general you, not you in particular) have a tendency to do more of the feeding yourself. With #1, my dh fed him nearly as much as I did and my mil and mom also took turns feeding him and got to bond with him more. With Ethan (ebf), no one else has EVER fed him, so he and I have had more one-on-one bonding time, which dh is rather sad about, but that's just how it's turned out.

My bond with Ethan (ebf) became much stronger much faster. Does that mean that I don't love Zack (bottle-fed) just as much-OF COURSE NOT! But it is different. Also, with Zack it took longer for me to establish the strong bond that we now have, where with Ethan it was more immediate.

If someone would have told me that bfing makes for a stronger, more immediate bond before I had Ethan and experienced it for myself, I would have argued to the death that I had just as strong a bond with my bottle-fed baby as the other mom had with her bfed baby, which is why I very firmly believe that you really can't understand the difference unless you have experienced it for yourself.
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  #19  
June 29th, 2006, 08:39 PM
Ashes78
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So, my question/debate for you is........ do you feel that there is more of a special bond between infants and their mother if they were breastfed or you do think the bonding is equal to a child who was bottle fed?[/b]
No. I feel that the bond is about you and your baby, not how you feed them. There are some people that don't really bond with their baby and those who have a very close bond with their baby, no matter how they are fed.
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  #20  
June 29th, 2006, 09:40 PM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have done both and I personally felt closer to my baby when I was BF. It was nice both ways... but when I BF it was different. I can't really explain it.
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