Log In Sign Up

If fathers have the right to know they have a child...


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 29th, 2006, 09:43 PM
CBMS
Guest
Posts: n/a
Okay... so I was reading over the other thread and I noticed that some of the women that say, "for sure; he should know he has a baby," or something along those lines... are pro-abortion and think that the woman has the absolute right, that the father has no say so.

So, for those pro abortionists that say the father should know: Why only after the child is born does that father have the right to have knowledge and say so, and not before?

I'm on the other side, so I'll simply watch the replies, as I am truly curious.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 29th, 2006, 09:48 PM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,497
I'm curious too.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 29th, 2006, 09:48 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Okay... so I was reading over the other thread and I noticed that some of the women that say, "for sure; he should know he has a baby," or something along those lines... are pro-abortion and think that the woman has the absolute right, that the father has no say so.

So, for those pro abortionists that say the father should know: Why only after the child is born does that father have the right to have knowledge and say so, and not before?

I'm on the other side, so I'll simply watch the replies, as I am truly curious. [/b]
First of all it's not pro-abortion.. And secondly why wouldn't he know before the baby is born? I mean most women considering abortion (aside from the abusive relationships) would tell the father before deciding to have an abortion. It's figuring out options.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 29th, 2006, 09:55 PM
CBMS
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
First of all it's not pro-abortion.. And secondly why wouldn't he know before the baby is born? I mean most women considering abortion (aside from the abusive relationships) would tell the father before deciding to have an abortion. It's figuring out options. [/b]

I said I was just going to watch, but now I'm further confused.

One is either for it or against it, so it's pro or anti, I thought?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 29th, 2006, 09:57 PM
AbbyHannahsMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,497
I think she means Pro-Choice... not Pro-Abortion
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 29th, 2006, 10:00 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:

First of all it's not pro-abortion.. And secondly why wouldn't he know before the baby is born? I mean most women considering abortion (aside from the abusive relationships) would tell the father before deciding to have an abortion. It's figuring out options. [/b]

I said I was just going to watch, but now I'm further confused.

One is either for it or against it, so it's pro or anti, I thought?
[/b]
Let me put it this way.. There are lot of people here who just want equality with rights for whites and blacks.. Could we just assume they are pro-KKK? No because it's WAY too far of a stretch to fit an agenda.

Quote:
I think she means Pro-Choice... not Pro-Abortion[/b]
That's better! (Unfortunately I've had this particular debate way too many times.)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 29th, 2006, 10:16 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
I think either way, the father has a right to know. I mean, if the mother doesn't want the child & it is not from an abusive relationship, the father has the right to raise the child.


FYI, I am pro-life HOWEVER I am not going to push about it to anyone. I have had family & friends have abortions. I just know it isn't right for me.
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 29th, 2006, 10:29 PM
chlodoll
Guest
Posts: n/a
I think this was posted in the wrong place! We arent allowed to talk about this outside the abortion thread.

I think a manhas the right to know most defintely. But once he knows what does that do? Its still the woman carrying the child. She cant give it to him while in utero and say you take care of it.

I think the majority of women tell the man first. There are situations where it probably isnt a good idea or wouldnt really matter, or she might not know who the father is. I guess in some situations you would have to use your own judgement.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 30th, 2006, 07:22 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
I don't think deciding if the father should know about the baby has anything at all do do with your opinions on abortion. I don't see how the two are related.
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #10  
June 30th, 2006, 08:11 AM
CBMS
Guest
Posts: n/a
Amber, I simply ask because several of the pro choicers--I think I got that down now-- also believe (from the other thread about the father knowing/not knowing) that the father has a right to know after the baby is born that they've created life. Yet most that support the choice feel it is ONLY the choice of the woman. I just wondered why? I don't know... reading through the other thread, I was confused, so I wanted to ask--since I am not on that side of the fence, I honestly don't know... it made me wonder, is all.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
June 30th, 2006, 08:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
Quote:
I think this was posted in the wrong place! We arent allowed to talk about this outside the abortion thread.[/b]
I agree.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #12  
June 30th, 2006, 08:13 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Well, it's about options... I mean most women won't abort if they think there is hope with the actual father..
Reply With Quote
  #13  
June 30th, 2006, 08:16 AM
CBMS
Guest
Posts: n/a
Maybe the question should be, then...

at what point does the father have the right to know? I don't know...


If I put it in the wrong spot, I didn't mean to... I wanted it to sort of be along with the other 'do fathers have a right to know?' thread... Maybe I am wording it all wrong... I'm not debating about abortion... just the father knowing/not knowing... and at what point...
Reply With Quote
  #14  
June 30th, 2006, 08:19 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
at what point does the father have the right to know?[/b]
I think pretty darn close to the time she may think she's pregnant ... but that's just me.. Lots of women wait until they've taken a test and I can understand that.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
June 30th, 2006, 08:39 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,109
I'll probably get blasted for this but I don't think that an "embryo" is a baby. I think it has the potential of becoming a baby. So technically the father has a right to know if there's a baby which is later in term. I also think this belongs in the abortion forum.

On the other hand if the mother decides SHE wants the baby then the father has to pay child support. So adoption is a totally different thing. If the father wanted to keep the baby (and not give it up for adoption) then the mother should have to pay child support.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #16  
June 30th, 2006, 08:42 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
Quote:
If the father wanted to keep the baby (and not give it up for adoption) then the mother should have to pay child support.[/b]
So, if the mom wants to give her baby up for adoption, the dad should be able to say NO, get custody, AND demand child support?
I disagree.
I think if the mom wants to give the baby up for adoption, the dad can have the option of adopting the baby, and meanwhile the mom signs over her rights (just like any other adoption). Once she has done that, there is no reason why she should have to pay child support. The child is now HIS responsibility.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #17  
June 30th, 2006, 08:46 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
Quote:
Amber, I simply ask because several of the pro choicers--I think I got that down now-- also believe (from the other thread about the father knowing/not knowing) that the father has a right to know after the baby is born that they've created life. Yet most that support the choice feel it is ONLY the choice of the woman. I just wondered why? I don't know... reading through the other thread, I was confused, so I wanted to ask--since I am not on that side of the fence, I honestly don't know... it made me wonder, is all. [/b]
I still think it totally depends on the mother's relationship with the father. If he is someone she feels she won't see again, or if she already knows he would want nothing to do with a baby...why tell him? yes, I think the father should know about the baby and be financially responsible, but who are we kidding here? I know of so many irresponsible fathers. I think each woman has to look at the scenario individually. What works for one, may not work for all. Still...it has nothing to do with pro or anti-choice.
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #18  
June 30th, 2006, 08:51 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Quote:
If the father wanted to keep the baby (and not give it up for adoption) then the mother should have to pay child support.[/b]
So, if the mom wants to give her baby up for adoption, the dad should be able to say NO, get custody, AND demand child support?
I disagree.
I think if the mom wants to give the baby up for adoption, the dad can have the option of adopting the baby, and meanwhile the mom signs over her rights (just like any other adoption). Once she has done that, there is no reason why she should have to pay child support. The child is now HIS responsibility.
[/b]
I actually agree with this to a point.. I'll explain on the abortion debates if someone wants to know why..

Quote:
Quote:
Amber, I simply ask because several of the pro choicers--I think I got that down now-- also believe (from the other thread about the father knowing/not knowing) that the father has a right to know after the baby is born that they've created life. Yet most that support the choice feel it is ONLY the choice of the woman. I just wondered why? I don't know... reading through the other thread, I was confused, so I wanted to ask--since I am not on that side of the fence, I honestly don't know... it made me wonder, is all. [/b]
I still think it totally depends on the mother's relationship with the father. If he is someone she feels she won't see again, or if she already knows he would want nothing to do with a baby...why tell him? yes, I think the father should know about the baby and be financially responsible, but who are we kidding here? I know of so many irresponsible fathers. I think each woman has to look at the scenario individually. What works for one, may not work for all. Still...it has nothing to do with pro or anti-choice.
[/b]
Because it's not fair to the child or the father.. If the kid is 25, tracks down dear ol' dad and both of them are just finding out that neither knew each other, it would make it harder for a possible relationship.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
June 30th, 2006, 08:55 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
If the father wanted to keep the baby (and not give it up for adoption) then the mother should have to pay child support.[/b]
So, if the mom wants to give her baby up for adoption, the dad should be able to say NO, get custody, AND demand child support?
I disagree.
I think if the mom wants to give the baby up for adoption, the dad can have the option of adopting the baby, and meanwhile the mom signs over her rights (just like any other adoption). Once she has done that, there is no reason why she should have to pay child support. The child is now HIS responsibility.
[/b]
I actually agree with this to a point.. I'll explain on the abortion debates if someone wants to know why..

Quote:
<div class='quotemain'>
Amber, I simply ask because several of the pro choicers--I think I got that down now-- also believe (from the other thread about the father knowing/not knowing) that the father has a right to know after the baby is born that they've created life. Yet most that support the choice feel it is ONLY the choice of the woman. I just wondered why? I don't know... reading through the other thread, I was confused, so I wanted to ask--since I am not on that side of the fence, I honestly don't know... it made me wonder, is all. [/b]
I still think it totally depends on the mother's relationship with the father. If he is someone she feels she won't see again, or if she already knows he would want nothing to do with a baby...why tell him? yes, I think the father should know about the baby and be financially responsible, but who are we kidding here? I know of so many irresponsible fathers. I think each woman has to look at the scenario individually. What works for one, may not work for all. Still...it has nothing to do with pro or anti-choice.
[/b]
Because it's not fair to the child or the father.. If the kid is 25, tracks down dear ol' dad and both of them are just finding out that neither knew each other, it would make it harder for a possible relationship.
[/b][/quote]
I agree, but rarely are things straight forward. What about one night stands? Should she really spend time looking for this guy to tell him about a child he will most likely never know? In theory yes...but we have to look at the reality. I'm all for the dads knowing. But it's not always the best thing for the child.
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #20  
June 30th, 2006, 09:08 AM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
I am all for respecting women's choices.. I would hope with that responsibilty they would carry themselves with no regrets.. Well, it's not a perfect world so lots of women carry unnecesssary guilt about their mothering techinques.. I digress..

Quote:
I agree, but rarely are things straight forward. What about one night stands? Should she really spend time looking for this guy to tell him about a child he will most likely never know? In theory yes...but we have to look at the reality. I'm all for the dads knowing. But it's not always the best thing for the child.[/b]
Yes she should.. that should be her reality but, I know lots of women have their reasons.. like allowing the embarassment and shame get in their way.. That way they have yet another to carry guilt for the rest of their lives.. I really don't want to contribute to that.. I guess I want what's best for the mom and if she is at peace with not contacting the father, then all the power to her.. I do think down the road it will be tougher on the child. My personal principle would be to tell dad but I'm not in those shoes so maybe I would react differently.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:22 PM.