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SHould someone move as Super is convicted sex-offender?


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View Poll Results: Move?
Yes!!! And right freakin now 13 65.00%
no 0 0%
Unsure 7 35.00%
0 0%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
July 5th, 2006, 12:45 PM
mrobinson
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OK.. If you found out your superintendant was a convicted sex offender, would you move? Would you talk about it? Would you research it more?

As I have personal feelings for the tenant.. MOVE RIGHT NOW is my gut. I know I shouldn't judge but this is my friend and I know better who to keep company with.. (((psstt.. get a lock & key and a chain)

I know we should find out more but...
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  #2  
July 5th, 2006, 01:10 PM
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I'd be moving fast. Not only do I take the safety of my children to be a top priority, I also do not intend to support the businesses of those found guilty of robbing someone of their sexual integrity.
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  #3  
July 5th, 2006, 01:16 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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I would move the day I found out about it. Not only does this person see your children regularly, but he has access to your home!

Quote:
I'd be moving fast. Not only do I take the safety of my children to be a top priority, I also do not intend to support the businesses of those found guilty of robbing someone of their sexual integrity.[/b]
ITA!
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  #4  
July 5th, 2006, 01:19 PM
mrobinson
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This thread is so not going to help my JM addiction... I so agree with you girls!

((I kinda wish surobbins was here to help give us some balance.. I know we shouldn't react so quick but... )
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  #5  
July 5th, 2006, 01:24 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
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Michelle.........I was just getting ready to leave work when you posted this. SHAME ON YOU!! I will totally be late getting home and making dinner now, CRAP!! I CANT LEAVE!!

Ok, anyway, MOVE NOW!! I would not only be getting myself out of there, but I would be making the other tenants aware as well! Not only do you have the obligation to yourself to get out of harms way, but with the knowledge that you have you have an obligation to the possible future victims of this man. But, first and formost......GET OUT NOW!!!



casey
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  #6  
July 5th, 2006, 01:28 PM
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Hell yeah I would be out of there fast.
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  #7  
July 5th, 2006, 01:31 PM
mrobinson
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Surobbins would be screaming at us... We don't know the whole situation.. what if it was he's a changed person or it was him having sex with his 17 year old g/f...

mrobinson still says act now (while the getting's good) and ask later...
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  #8  
July 5th, 2006, 01:36 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Surobbins would be screaming at us... We don't know the whole situation.. what if it was he's a changed person or it was him having sex with his 17 year old g/f...

mrobinson still says act now (while the getting's good) and ask later...[/b]



Where is she?

Personally, I would move ASAP. This is not someone down the block in their own residence. This person has ACCESS to your residence. creepy...
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  #9  
July 5th, 2006, 01:37 PM
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My initial gut feeling would be to move immediately, but I think I would actually look into what his conviction was all about--some states post that information on the sex offender website, and mine is one of those states. If he was convicted for dating a 15 year old when he was 19, and I had no children at home, I might not be in such a rush to clear out, although I would probably look for other arrangements and leave as soon as possible. If he was convicted of raping a 3 year old and I was the mother of pre-schoolers, I would leave so fast there would be a trail of flames behind me. If there is no way of knowing what his conviction was for, I'd err on the side of caution and clear out ASAP.
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  #10  
July 5th, 2006, 01:44 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
My initial gut feeling would be to move immediately, but I think I would actually look into what his conviction was all about--some states post that information on the sex offender website, and mine is one of those states. If he was convicted for dating a 15 year old when he was 19, and I had no children at home, I might not be in such a rush to clear out, although I would probably look for other arrangements and leave as soon as possible. If he was convicted of raping a 3 year old and I was the mother of pre-schoolers, I would leave so fast there would be a trail of flames behind me. If there is no way of knowing what his conviction was for, I'd err on the side of caution and clear out ASAP.[/b]

I change my vote to
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  #11  
July 5th, 2006, 02:02 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
My initial gut feeling would be to move immediately, but I think I would actually look into what his conviction was all about--some states post that information on the sex offender website, and mine is one of those states. If he was convicted for dating a 15 year old when he was 19, and I had no children at home, I might not be in such a rush to clear out, although I would probably look for other arrangements and leave as soon as possible. If he was convicted of raping a 3 year old and I was the mother of pre-schoolers, I would leave so fast there would be a trail of flames behind me. If there is no way of knowing what his conviction was for, I'd err on the side of caution and clear out ASAP.[/b]
That's a good thing the states can show that.. I don't even think we have something like that here. I think we have to read the paper and police *might* release the information on the newest released sex offender.. but I don't really know for sure.
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  #12  
July 5th, 2006, 02:17 PM
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Hey, well I guess I should respond since the person in question is me! The man, as I discovered today after checking the registry, has 2 convictions for first degree sexual assault. He also has indicated he is interested/attracted to me...he calls the house quite frequently asking me and my roomate to hang out. He went out with my roomate a couple weeks ago, and he came to the apartment afterwards...he was making me feel really uncomfortable so I eventually kicked him out. Last week, I was in the shower and when I got out in my towel he was in the living room. He claimed he had tried to knock and I didn't answer so he let himself in to fix something.
Just for some backround, when I was 16 I was kidnapped and raped by a man after he offered me a ride in his car. We had all the evidence in the world, this guy basically beat the crap out of me, and he didn't even get convicted of first degree sexual assault. I've seen first hand the way the criminal justice system works in rape cases, and I know it is DARN HARD to secure a rape conviction. I'm sure there was plenty of evidence of his guilt, and first degree usually means that some type of violent force was used. Scary.
Here's the problem though-I don't know where to go! I just moved in here, just got settled...I moved here b/c I don't have enough money saved for a security deposit and my roomate is a friend of mine didn't require one-everywhere else I look does...I really don't know what to do! I want to move but it's really not that easy...I am really scared though, not just for me, but for my roomate and her 7 month old son. I called the police and they said there is nothing they can do. Legally he has served his time and is allowed to work wherever he pleases.
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  #13  
July 5th, 2006, 02:26 PM
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Wow...where to start...that IS creepy!!!

First, I would establish a verbal and written record of your discontent with this man. Make sure he knows, in both words and writing, that you do not want him entering your apartment without consent when you are present (check your lease, see if there is a clause about entering for repairs when you aren't home- if not, you can just flat out say you don't want him to enter without consent or request that a second person be present).

Next, I would talk to your roomate and bring up your concerns, especially the shower episode. Get her to sign on to the verbal and written request for no entrance.

If your roomate isn't interested in persuing anything with this guy (and maybe even if she is!), I would tell him straight up that you want privacy and that neither of you are interested in him. Perhaps changing your phone number would be a good move as well.

Check your lease about rules concerning locks. If none are present, get a top lock for your door. If there is a restriction on locks, look into a chain or other mechanism that will protect you while in the apartment from unwanted entrance. Consider a bottom stopper or something like that to get around any lease rules.

Once you have taken measures to feel more safe in your current place, do your best to find another place that will offer help on a security depsoit. Some places will wave it if you have a cosigner, for example. See what you can find. If you don't find anything, set your security deposit goal for a place you like and budget around it. See if you can cut anything out of your current budget for a little while in order to make the deposit needed.
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  #14  
July 5th, 2006, 02:31 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Wow...where to start...that IS creepy!!!

First, I would establish a verbal and written record of your discontent with this man. Make sure he knows, in both words and writing, that you do not want him entering your apartment without consent when you are present (check your lease, see if there is a clause about entering for repairs when you aren't home- if not, you can just flat out say you don't want him to enter without consent or request that a second person be present).

Next, I would talk to your roomate and bring up your concerns, especially the shower episode. Get her to sign on to the verbal and written request for no entrance.

If your roomate isn't interested in persuing anything with this guy (and maybe even if she is!), I would tell him straight up that you want privacy and that neither of you are interested in him. Perhaps changing your phone number would be a good move as well.

Check your lease about rules concerning locks. If none are present, get a top lock for your door. If there is a restriction on locks, look into a chain or other mechanism that will protect you while in the apartment from unwanted entrance. Consider a bottom stopper or something like that to get around any lease rules.

Once you have taken measures to feel more safe in your current place, do your best to find another place that will offer help on a security depsoit. Some places will wave it if you have a cosigner, for example. See what you can find. If you don't find anything, set your security deposit goal for a place you like and budget around it. See if you can cut anything out of your current budget for a little while in order to make the deposit needed.[/b]


Can you speak to the actual landlord? (And even if there are rules about locks on the doors.. I think people and the courts would understand you breaking that one..)

Hm... Also is there a women's shelter in your area? I wonder if you called them if they would have a program you can enter?

Let me know if there is more ...

I am so sorry hon.
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  #15  
July 5th, 2006, 02:52 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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EVERYTHING Isabellamom said is GREAT ADVICE!!! Go out and buy some locks to put on your door ASAP. I would also change your phone number and tell him verbally and in writting that you do not want him in your home without your permission. This will mean you have to confront him, but, I think it is worth your safety to let him know that you know. Even if he is a changed man or whatever, that doesnt change what he has done and it doesnt change the fact that you were uncomfortable around him BEFORE you found out about the conviction!! This is not a man who had an underaged girlfriend when he was younger, this is a violent offender! I work for a defense lawyer and I have got to say, I cant believe he is a SUPER in your building! It is generally hard for a person with "violent offender" status to get a job, let alone one that will give him access to OTHER PEOPLE'S HOMES!! Maybe the landlord doesnt even know about it! Start informing people right away, maybe you wont have to move. Maybe HE will! And if he is fired or forced to leave, make sure you change your locks ASAP incase he made a copy of the key!

GOOD LUCK sweety! Let us know what happens!

casey
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  #16  
July 5th, 2006, 03:48 PM
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I would first definitely look into what the convictions were for, then make a decision from there. I just wanted to add (sorry for all of you who hate personal experiences...close your eyes) a story of my own. An apartment complex that we lived at actually hired a maintenance man that was a convicted sex offender. I'm not sure if they didn't do a background check or what, but I think they were unaware that he was an offender. Anyways, he worked there for a few months and then got arrested for breaking in (he had keys to all the apartments) to two college aged girls apartments in the middle of the night. He didn't rape either of the two (thank God) but they both called the cops immediately and he was arrested. Just wanted to share.
Amanda
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  #17  
July 5th, 2006, 03:54 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yea, I'm wondering if there is a possibility that the owner isn't aware that this dude is an offender? It seems unlikely, but like Amanda just said it is possible.

Moving is obviously not a real option for you at this time, and it sucks that that is not available for you. I'm assuming that there are others in the building who have children. Maybe calling a meeting to discuss this?
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  #18  
July 5th, 2006, 04:09 PM
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Since this is not a theoretical "what would you do if...?" kind of situation--here's my revised answer.

You have gotten some great advice. I would definitely get one of those locks like they have on hotel doors with the big metal piece you push over a knob, instead of just a chain--I would do this regardless of what the lease says--you have to be smart and protect yourself.

Also, screen your phone calls. Just because the phone rings, you don't have to answer it. Let your friends and family know you are screening your calls and to speak first on the answering machine and then you will answer. You didn't say if your roommate is actually interested in this guy, I hope not.

I would not confront him in any way. If he doesn't already know that you know about him, I wouldn't make a big deal about this to him. Just mosey along like you've been doing, but watch your back every minute. The landlord probably already knows he is a sex offender--I don't know why he would hire someone like that, but how could he NOT know. Maybe they're pals, who knows, but I wouldn't pursue it with the landlord either.

I would move out as soon as you can. If your roommate doesn't want to move and decides instead to take a chance with her safety, that is her business, but you need to protect yourself. I wouldn't freak out and leave today, but as soon as possible, I would move. If you have some bills like credit cards that you can hold off on paying (I'm not saying never pay them, just put them aside for a couple of weeks) in order to save a security deposit, then that's what I would personally do. I know that not paying a few bills on time might leave a ding or two on your credit--doing that is completely up to you, but that's what I personally would do, rather than risk my life and safety for the sake of a few FICO points. Or ask 10 friends or family members to loan you $100 each--do whatever you can legally do to raise the money.

Definitely keep us posted on this, and watch your back!
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  #19  
July 5th, 2006, 04:12 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Since this is not a theoretical "what would you do if...?" kind of situation--here's my revised answer.

You have gotten some great advice. I would definitely get one of those locks like they have on hotel doors with the big metal piece you push over a knob, instead of just a chain--I would do this regardless of what the lease says--you have to be smart and protect yourself.

Also, screen your phone calls. Just because the phone rings, you don't have to answer it. Let your friends and family know you are screening your calls and to speak first on the answering machine and then you will answer. You didn't say if your roommate is actually interested in this guy, I hope not.

I would not confront him in any way.
If he doesn't already know that you know about him, I wouldn't make a big deal about this to him.

Definitely keep us posted on this, and watch your back![/b]
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  #20  
July 5th, 2006, 04:15 PM
chlodoll
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I voted Unsure. I live in a complex of like 500+ apartment units. There are 4 huge buildings and a team of supers. If anything happened it would be reported quicky. If I lived in a building of 10 units or something I would probably move though.
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