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What do you think about people that have kids


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  #1  
July 6th, 2006, 06:46 PM
lilbluedolphin's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
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to quote Dr Phil. I HATE WHEN KIDS ARE BORN WITH A JOB!!!!
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  #2  
July 6th, 2006, 06:52 PM
chlodoll
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i think this probably happens quite often.
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  #3  
July 6th, 2006, 06:52 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
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I 100% agree with this. A child is not going to save a relationship. And I am not going to get pregnant to keep someone around.
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  #4  
July 6th, 2006, 07:59 PM
Super Mommy
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Location: Overland Park, Kansas
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Gross. I think it's WRONG.
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  #5  
July 6th, 2006, 09:31 PM
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Location: Houston, TX
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Creepy stuff. Only a temporary fix too.
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  #6  
July 6th, 2006, 10:00 PM
irishxrose
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.

Last edited by irishxrose; January 5th, 2010 at 04:13 PM.
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  #7  
July 6th, 2006, 10:04 PM
chlodoll
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Quote:
To have a kid to save a relationship is just inviting more trouble.[/b]
Defintely. My SIL continued to TTC even though their marriage was shakey. Now she is a single mom living back at home.
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  #8  
July 7th, 2006, 05:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,667
Oh, why so skeptical? Everyone knows that having a cute cuddly baby is the perfect way to save a relationship on the brink of destruction! Why wouldn't adding another little tiny person to the mix, one that is COMPLETELY self-centered and dependent, who will increase the stress on both parties and on the relationship itself by a factor of at least 100, help the situation when things are already rocky to start with? I mean, babies are so CUUTTE!

Having children to save a relationship is just as juvenile as a girl having a child so she'll have someone to love her.
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  #9  
July 7th, 2006, 06:13 AM
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I agree - its just inviting more trouble. Work on the relationship, not add in what goes along with having a baby, its not going to help things, just add more stress.

And how the heck do you not wake up?!
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  #10  
July 7th, 2006, 06:50 AM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's sad, to only have a child to fix a relationship. Children aren't pawns. That poor kid will only continue to be played as one it's whole life. And having a baby puts serious strains on relationships, not makes them stronger. Chris and I had a really rocky time during Anthony's first year.
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  #11  
July 7th, 2006, 07:07 AM
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I think it is completely wrong. The last thing people need to be doing when their relationship is on the outs is to be having a child. I think for either party (the man or the woman) it is a very selfish thing to do.
Amanda
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  #12  
July 7th, 2006, 07:56 AM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Oh, why so skeptical? Everyone knows that having a cute cuddly baby is the perfect way to save a relationship on the brink of destruction! Why wouldn't adding another little tiny person to the mix, one that is COMPLETELY self-centered and dependent, who will increase the stress on both parties and on the relationship itself by a factor of at least 100, help the situation when things are already rocky to start with? I mean, babies are so CUUTTE!

Having children to save a relationship is just as juvenile as a girl having a child so she'll have someone to love her.[/b]


Quote:
It's sad, to only have a child to fix a relationship. Children aren't pawns. That poor kid will only continue to be played as one it's whole life. And having a baby puts serious strains on relationships, not makes them stronger. Chris and I had a really rocky time during Anthony's first year.[/b]


Children aren't pawns! Too many people use kids for their own personal agenda.. It makes me so angry that divorced parents can't grow up enough to have the kids best interest first.
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  #13  
July 7th, 2006, 08:27 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Oh, why so skeptical? Everyone knows that having a cute cuddly baby is the perfect way to save a relationship on the brink of destruction! Why wouldn't adding another little tiny person to the mix, one that is COMPLETELY self-centered and dependent, who will increase the stress on both parties and on the relationship itself by a factor of at least 100, help the situation when things are already rocky to start with? I mean, babies are so CUUTTE!

Having children to save a relationship is just as juvenile as a girl having a child so she'll have someone to love her.[/b]
Having a baby can put a strain on even the strongest of marriages. I know from experience
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  #14  
July 7th, 2006, 09:06 AM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont think this is even a debate. No one in their right mind is going to say that having a baby is going to fix a relationship. I realize that it happens all the time, but I honestly dont think that someone on here is going to say that they think it is the right thing to do. I would like to hear from someone who has done it though so that they can share their experience and how they have learned that it really made everything much worse.


People really will do silly things to try and fix problems though huh.
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  #15  
July 7th, 2006, 11:22 AM
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Not only will it not help the relationship, but I feel bad for the poor kid who has to live with that responsibility.

Also, I feel sorry for the woman who doesn't wake up during sex. Her dh is either not doing something right, or is not very well endowed.
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  #16  
July 7th, 2006, 12:08 PM
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Ok, well I am going to put my story out there...I almost did this. When I was 17, I was with my boyfriend (the guy I ended up being engaged to) and we were having a lot of problems. We were fighting all the time, and we broke up and he ended up with another girl. I was still madly in love with him and did not want this girl to "win". We were still sleeping together even though we were broken up, and I went off my birth control without telling him. I thought if I got pregnant, he would leave her and be with me and we would have a family and live happily ever after. Thankfully, I didn't end up getting pregnant, and eventually realized we weren't ready for a baby and I got back on the pill. We ended up getting back together anyways (and are actually talking about getting back together now)

I am not advocating this as a good idea by any means, I agree with what everyone is saying, but I do on a personal level understand why some women do it.
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  #17  
July 7th, 2006, 12:29 PM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you for sharing your story! It does help shed some light on "why" people think it is a good idea. I'm glad you realized it wasnt though!
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  #18  
July 8th, 2006, 01:33 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
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Since Blondie put hers out there, I will put mine too, only I did end up pregnant. But now I know better!

I was 17 years old and dating who is now my older DS's father. The relationship was rocky to start but being a dumb immature kid, I thought it was the thing to do to keep him. I did get pregnant but he loved the ladies and couldn't stay faithful. We broke up when JJ was 6 months old and not long after that, I met the guy who is now my DH.

My DH & I have been TTC on/off since 2003. At the beginning of the year, we became really serious, mainly because we found an excellent doctor. But then right after that, we started getting into some major problems in our marriage. With knowing what happened with my ex, we both agreed to put TTC on hold while we went to counseling for a while. I am glad to say things are a lot more on track in our marriage but were not TTC when I got my BFP last month, only to miscarry this last week. We have discussed it and decided we are going to TTC again after 1 cycle.

I will in no way advocate having a child to save a relationship. I don't regret having my son at all but if I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now? Probably not. But hindsight is 20/20 and I am just glad things have worked out the way they have. My ex & I are not together anymore but he is very active in our sons life and they have an extremely close relationship. We have shared parenting of him which has worked out pretty good, except for a few issues we had to hash out in court. Oh and JJ is his first and only child (as of right now).

I know in my previous post I did not put this in there but since you want people who have done this, I figured I should share. But I will never do it again, trying to save a relationship that way.
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  #19  
July 8th, 2006, 08:47 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 6,149
Quote:
Since Blondie put hers out there, I will put mine too, only I did end up pregnant. But now I know better!

I was 17 years old and dating who is now my older DS's father. The relationship was rocky to start but being a dumb immature kid, I thought it was the thing to do to keep him. I did get pregnant but he loved the ladies and couldn't stay faithful. We broke up when JJ was 6 months old and not long after that, I met the guy who is now my DH.

My DH & I have been TTC on/off since 2003. At the beginning of the year, we became really serious, mainly because we found an excellent doctor. But then right after that, we started getting into some major problems in our marriage. With knowing what happened with my ex, we both agreed to put TTC on hold while we went to counseling for a while. I am glad to say things are a lot more on track in our marriage but were not TTC when I got my BFP last month, only to miscarry this last week. We have discussed it and decided we are going to TTC again after 1 cycle.

I will in no way advocate having a child to save a relationship. I don't regret having my son at all but if I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now? Probably not. But hindsight is 20/20 and I am just glad things have worked out the way they have. My ex & I are not together anymore but he is very active in our sons life and they have an extremely close relationship. We have shared parenting of him which has worked out pretty good, except for a few issues we had to hash out in court. Oh and JJ is his first and only child (as of right now).

I know in my previous post I did not put this in there but since you want people who have done this, I figured I should share. But I will never do it again, trying to save a relationship that way.[/b]
I just want to say I am very sorry for your loss.
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  #20  
July 8th, 2006, 09:30 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,299
Is there really an un-selfish reason to have children? Seriously...

Most of the time it is to fulfill something missing, for you or you and your partner. Maybe you are at a time in life where you feel 'ready.' Again, all about you (me). Isn't that the very definition of selfish?

Why does a child even need to know the circumstances surrounding their conception - is that really more important than the love and affection they recieve throughout their lives?
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