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Here's another POV on birth control


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  #1  
July 18th, 2006, 11:29 AM
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Don't get me wrong--I like the general concept of birth control. I have taken it myself. But why should it be recommended to the public in general and teenagers in particular as being some kind of guarantee that you're 100% safe? I know, some doctors will point out there are some risks, and the packaging generally contains the "failure rate" in print so small you need an electron microscope to read it, but even so, everyone thinks if they use it, they're "protected."

But it seems like I hear all the time on here--

We have to have abortion on demand---because birth control fails sometimes.
Women have "oops" babies--because birth control failed.
We need more social services for single moms who got they way--because birth control doesn't always work.

Seems like there's a lot of birth control failures going on out there. Just because it does work sometimes, for some people, should it be given the position on the pedestal that it has achieved?
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  #2  
July 18th, 2006, 11:34 AM
Sunflower_Mommy2003's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
But why should it be recommended to the public in general and teenagers in particular as being some kind of guarantee that you're 100% safe?[/b]
I don't believe that birth control should be presented that way, or 'put on a pedastal', but I believe it's a valuable tool that can significantly decrease the risk of an unintended pregnancy. I believe in comprehensive sex education, informed consent, and affordable/accessible options.

Jen
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  #3  
July 18th, 2006, 11:43 AM
mrobinson
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Quote:
We have to have abortion on demand---because birth control fails sometimes.
Women have "oops" babies--because birth control failed.
We need more social services for single moms who got they way--because birth control doesn't always work.

Seems like there's a lot of birth control failures going on out there. Just because it does work sometimes, for some people, should it be given the position on the pedestal that it has achieved?[/b]
I think anyone who thinks BC is on a pedestal wasn't given all the facts in the first place. I'm guilty of it. Before I came here, I thought people who got knocked up from BC didn't read the instructions.. even if it's 98%, my brain couldn't seem to grasp the concept that 2% times all the people who use it still equalls a whole lot of babies. I think we don't talk about that failure rate enough in school.. When they did, I thought they were trying to encourage abstaining.. I was a math quiz then, I should have thought about it differently then too.

Quote:
Quote:
But why should it be recommended to the public in general and teenagers in particular as being some kind of guarantee that you're 100% safe?[/b]
I don't believe that birth control should be presented that way, or 'put on a pedastal', but I believe it's a valuable tool that can significantly decrease the risk of an unintended pregnancy. I believe in comprehensive sex education, informed consent, and affordable/accessible options.

Jen
[/b]
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  #4  
July 18th, 2006, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
I don't believe that birth control should be presented that way, or 'put on a pedastal', but I believe it's a valuable tool that can significantly decrease the risk of an unintended pregnancy. I believe in comprehensive sex education, informed consent, and affordable/accessible options.

Jen[/b]


Amanda
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  #5  
July 18th, 2006, 01:04 PM
kadydid
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I have never had it presented to me that way. I knew by the time I was 14 that AIDS virus is much smaller than the microscopic holes in a condom. And that birth control doesn’t work for everybody, and that much of it is caused by human error. (Either at home dr. office, or at the factory) And that abstinence is the only way to completely prevent disease or pregnancy. I have never in my life been with presented the idea that birth control is 100%.
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  #6  
July 18th, 2006, 01:07 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I have never had it presented to me that way. I knew by the time I was 14 that AIDS virus is much smaller than the microscopic holes in a condom. And that birth control doesn’t work for everybody, and that much of it is caused by human error. (Either at home dr. office, or at the factory) And that abstinence is the only way to completely prevent disease or pregnancy. I have never in my life been with presented the idea that birth control is 100%.[/b]
Well.. if you all know how stubborn I'm on here.. imagine my poor teachers when I was a teenager.. (YIKES!) And you all wonder why I advocate for more funding for education? Who else can put up kids like me?
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  #7  
July 18th, 2006, 02:09 PM
kadydid
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Quote:
Quote:
I have never had it presented to me that way. I knew by the time I was 14 that AIDS virus is much smaller than the microscopic holes in a condom. And that birth control doesn’t work for everybody, and that much of it is caused by human error. (Either at home dr. office, or at the factory) And that abstinence is the only way to completely prevent disease or pregnancy. I have never in my life been with presented the idea that birth control is 100%.[/b]
Well.. if you all know how stubborn I'm on here.. imagine my poor teachers when I was a teenager.. (YIKES!) And you all wonder why I advocate for more funding for education? Who else can put up kids like me?
[/b]
Me too and I got pregnant at 17. I remember seeing my health teacher when I was about 9 months pregnant. UGH. I did listen to him, but at the time "moments" were more important than consequences.
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  #8  
July 18th, 2006, 02:21 PM
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I just wonder why everyone thinks that good parenting is now "Don't forget your 'protection' dear," instead of trying to teach something that IS 100% effective. I want my children to have the best, so that's why I plan to stress abstinence. Believe it or not, some teenagers do abstain until they are 18 or older, and I hope my children will.
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  #9  
July 18th, 2006, 02:41 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I just wonder why everyone thinks that good parenting is now "Don't forget your 'protection' dear," instead of trying to teach something that IS 100% effective. I want my children to have the best, so that's why I plan to stress abstinence. Believe it or not, some teenagers do abstain until they are 18 or older, and I hope my children will.[/b]
I know it's possible.. but I want my kids armed with knowledge when they walk out the door. I plan on teaching about drugs too. That isn't giving them permission. Look at the anti-smoking campaigns.. There are working a little. Education is why. I hope if my kids know why, they won't... like smoking.
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  #10  
July 18th, 2006, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
I just wonder why everyone thinks that good parenting is now "Don't forget your 'protection' dear," instead of trying to teach something that IS 100% effective. I want my children to have the best, so that's why I plan to stress abstinence. Believe it or not, some teenagers do abstain until they are 18 or older, and I hope my children will.[/b]
I know you say the age of 18 because it is the legal age of adulthood, but I know plenty of 18 years olds that shouldn't be raising children either. And plenty more who still live under mom and dad's roofs. I plan to teach abstinence too, but I suspect it will be way more of an ideal than a reality.

An ounce of prevention.....
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  #11  
July 18th, 2006, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
I just wonder why everyone thinks that good parenting is now "Don't forget your 'protection' dear," instead of trying to teach something that IS 100% effective. I want my children to have the best, so that's why I plan to stress abstinence. Believe it or not, some teenagers do abstain until they are 18 or older, and I hope my children will.[/b]
I know it's possible.. but I want my kids armed with knowledge when they walk out the door. I plan on teaching about drugs too. That isn't giving them permission. Look at the anti-smoking campaigns.. There are working a little. Education is why. I hope if my kids know why, they won't... like smoking.
[/b]
I never said ANYTHING at all about NOT educating my children about biology, sex, reproduction, birth control and other related issues. Why is it assumed that because I am not dispensing birth control to my children, I am also not going to be educating them about sex?? They're going to have plenty of information from me and their father--we're not idiots.
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  #12  
July 18th, 2006, 05:26 PM
Sunflower_Mommy2003's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think if you stress abstinence too much, you end up using a lot of unbalanced info/scare tactics...and kids are smart, they're going to sense that they're not getting the whole, balanced story. If they think you're just trying to get them to do what you want, rather than being completely honest/neutral with them, I think they're more likely to reject the entire lesson. KWIM?

As long as my sons are responsible about sex, I don't really have any emotional/religious reason for insisting they wait until marriage. I don't think that's a realistic thing to expect-let alone request-anyway.

Jen
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  #13  
July 18th, 2006, 06:52 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
[I never said ANYTHING at all about NOT educating my children about biology, sex, reproduction, birth control and other related issues. Why is it assumed that because I am not dispensing birth control to my children, I am also not going to be educating them about sex?? They're going to have plenty of information from me and their father--we're not idiots.[/b]
First of all I'm not assuming you're not educating your kids and I didn't say you were an idiot.. Calm down, it's just a discussion.
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  #14  
July 18th, 2006, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
[I never said ANYTHING at all about NOT educating my children about biology, sex, reproduction, birth control and other related issues. Why is it assumed that because I am not dispensing birth control to my children, I am also not going to be educating them about sex?? They're going to have plenty of information from me and their father--we're not idiots.[/b]
First of all I'm not assuming you're not educating your kids and I didn't say you were an idiot.. Calm down, it's just a discussion.
[/b]
Oh, silly me. What am I supposed to think with your response directly to me in Post 9? You say abstinence is possible, BUT (unlike me apparently) you want to educate your kids. Well, duh.

Sex is risky behavior and I don't think that giving kids "education" and then supplying them with birth control is a good idea. What about other risky behaviors? What about alchohol and drugs? If my kids came to me and asked me to buy them beer or weed, should I, because they're going to do it anyway if I don't? I would want to keep the lines of communication open and not want them to shut me out, wouldn't I? What if they came to me and wanted to shoplift? Should I give them a big roomy purse and advice on where the store cameras are? I wouldn't want them to think I'm unsupportive of their choices, would I? What if they wanted to kill themself? Should I say, well, ok, you know what's best for you, you are a teenager and know everything after all--here's some pills to make it easy for you. Where does a parent draw the line?
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  #15  
July 18th, 2006, 07:57 PM
Sunflower_Mommy2003's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Sex is risky behavior and I don't think that giving kids "education" and then supplying them with birth control is a good idea.[/b]
What good is knowledge about safer sex without the MEANS to protect oneself?

Quote:
What about other risky behaviors? What about alchohol and drugs? If my kids came to me and asked me to buy them beer or weed, should I, because they're going to do it anyway if I don't? I would want to keep the lines of communication open and not want them to shut me out, wouldn't I? What if they came to me and wanted to shoplift? Should I give them a big roomy purse and advice on where the store cameras are? I wouldn't want them to think I'm unsupportive of their choices, would I?[/b]
Oh, come now...enabling your child to break the law is not the same as providing a teen---who will likely have sex at some point, before marriage---with not just sthe knowledge but the means to protect themselves so they don't end up with an unwanted pregnancy or STD. A teenager having consentual sex with a similar-aged teen is not a crime.

Quote:
What if they wanted to kill themself? Should I say, well, ok, you know what's best for you, you are a teenager and know everything after all--here's some pills to make it easy for you. Where does a parent draw the line?[/b]
Most of us have sex on a regular basis. It's healthy, human, and enjoyable. It is not akin to suicide...even when the person having sex is a teenager. There are risks, but they can be significantly decreased through responsible behaviors which include having access to condoms and other birth control methods.

In fact, not providing your child with condoms even though you acknowledge the reality that they probably will have sex is probably a lot more analogous to giving your child some pills to kill themselves with, because not providing your teen with the means to protect themselves from a disease like AIDS could cost them their life.

Jen
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  #16  
July 18th, 2006, 08:19 PM
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I know I am not looking foward to the talk. I think that teenages should be well educated. I would rather my children wait to have sex. Not nessiraly when they are married but at least at a decent age. If they are sexually active I do want to know. When I was a teenager I was scared to have sex. Fear of getting pregnant, Had not desire to either.
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  #17  
July 18th, 2006, 09:09 PM
mrobinson
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Oh, silly me. What am I supposed to think with your response directly to me in Post 9? You say abstinence is possible, BUT (unlike me apparently) you want to educate your kids. Well, duh.[/b]
I really didn't mean it in a personal way.. Please feel free to pm me if you wish.
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  #18  
July 18th, 2006, 09:44 PM
kadydid
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I wanted to come back to this earlier but I have been busy all day…..

Quote:
Sex is risky behavior and I don't think that giving kids "education" and then supplying them with birth control is a good idea. What about other risky behaviors? What about alchohol and drugs? If my kids came to me and asked me to buy them beer or weed, should I, because they're going to do it anyway if I don't? I would want to keep the lines of communication open and not want them to shut me out, wouldn't I? What if they came to me and wanted to shoplift? Should I give them a big roomy purse and advice on where the store cameras are? I wouldn't want them to think I'm unsupportive of their choices, would I? What if they wanted to kill themself? Should I say, well, ok, you know what's best for you, you are a teenager and know everything after all--here's some pills to make it easy for you. Where does a parent draw the line?[/b]
Sorry but none of the above makes any sense to me. Sex is a perfectly natural thing unlike smoking dope or shooting themselves in the head. And statistically that mindset is not doing much for America’s youth. We have the highest rate of pregnancy and abortion in the developed world.


Scroll half way down this link and you will see the chart of developed countries and the rate at which their teens are having sex and the rate at which they are getting pregnant. The United States pregnancy statistics looks pretty grim, even though all of the countries are neck and neck at the rate they are having sex.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_teens.html


This is the actual study that those quick facts came from.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/eurosynth_rpt.pdf

Some of my favorite quotes.


Quote:
Comprehensive sexuality education,
not abstinence promotion, is emphasized
in countries with lower teenage pregnancy
levels.
In Sweden, France, Great
Britain and, usually, Canada, the focus
of sexuality education is not abstinence
promotion but the provision of comprehensive
information about prevention
of HIV and other STDs; pregnancy prevention;
contraceptives and, often,
where to get them; and respect and
responsibility within relationships.


•Media is used less in the United
States than elsewhere to promote positive
sexual behavior. Young people in all five
countries are exposed through television
programs, movies, music and advertisements
to sexually explicit images and to
casual sexual encounters with no consideration
for preventing pregnancy or
STDs. However, entertainment media
and advertising messages about sexuality
are seemingly less influential in the
other countries than in the United
States, because they are balanced by
more pragmatic parental and societal
attitudes and by nearly universal comprehensive
sexuality education.
Pregnancy and STD prevention campaigns
undertaken in the United States
generally have a punitive tone and focus
on the negative aspects of teenage childbearing
and STDs rather than on promotion
of effective contraceptive use.



While adults in the other study
countries focus chiefly on the quality of
young people’s relationships and the
exercise of personal responsibility
within those relationships, adults in
the United States are often more concerned
about whether young people are
having sex. Close relationships are
often viewed as worrisome because
they may lead to intercourse,
and contraception
may not be discussed for
fear that such a discussion might lead
to sexual activity. These generalities
across countries are borne out in the
behavior of young people. As was noted
earlier, teenagers in the United States
who have had sex appear more likely
than their peers in the other countries
to have short-term and sporadic relationships,
and they are more likely to
have many sexual partners during
their teenage years.[/b]
Excellent study if anyone gets the chance to read it!! Both links are very interesting.


Quote:
I just wonder why everyone thinks that good parenting is now "Don't forget your 'protection' dear," instead of trying to teach something that IS 100% effective. I want my children to have the best, so that's why I plan to stress abstinence. Believe it or not, some teenagers do abstain until they are 18 or older, and I hope my children will.[/b]
I think good parenting is setting your kids up with the things they will need for life. Life happen whether you want it to or not, and children do not listen to their parents 100% of the time.
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  #19  
July 19th, 2006, 05:27 AM
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Just wondering where most parents draw the line--I guess I know now. I just think sex is something that children should not participate in--although most teens supposedly "do it anyway." Some teenagers also want to participate in other activities they shouldn't, like the ones I listed, so my point was if you enable your kids to have sex, should you enable them to do whatever else they want? I mean, they're probably just going to do whatever they want anyway, even if it's illegal, and it's a parents job to be 'supportive,' right?

I also wanted to see what people thought about my original statement--I guess recommending something to teenagers that works some of the time is better than nothing at all. But if people are aware that it only works some of the time, why are they so surprised to turn up pregnant?
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  #20  
July 19th, 2006, 09:16 AM
Tersh's Avatar DD nurses her baby too!
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Quote:
Just wondering where most parents draw the line--I guess I know now. I just think sex is something that children should not participate in--although most teens supposedly "do it anyway." Some teenagers also want to participate in other activities they shouldn't, like the ones I listed, so my point was if you enable your kids to have sex, should you enable them to do whatever else they want? I mean, they're probably just going to do whatever they want anyway, even if it's illegal, and it's a parents job to be 'supportive,' right?

I also wanted to see what people thought about my original statement--I guess recommending something to teenagers that works some of the time is better than nothing at all. But if people are aware that it only works some of the time, why are they so surprised to turn up pregnant?[/b]
"enabling" is different than "supporting." I don't have to agree with my daughter coming home drunk, but if she calls me drunk and says "I'm drunk and don't want to drive home" I'm going to go get her. I'm not enabling her to drink. Only supporting her and helping her not make more detrimental decisions.
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