Log In Sign Up

Can you be curious, but not homosexual?


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 18th, 2006, 01:22 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
A friend of mine swears up and down he is straight. He has always dated lots of girls. But he confided in me that he has had homosexual experiences on two occasions. One time, he was talking to some guy while in a gym and the guy proposed that they go do something, so they did(all the way). My friend says he was just curious and didn't know what to do, so he went along with it, but that he didn't like it and stopped. Then on the second occasion, he was drunk and supposedly passed out, and woke up to a friend of his going down on him. My friend is very 'touchy' about this subject and doesn't like to talk about it.

What do you think? Can someone genuinely be curious or confused and do these type things, but not be gay? I think that with girls, yes, because there is so much sexual stigma and attraction to girls together, and I think most girls do it for attention. But with guys, it's regarding as gross, usually among other guys, so why would you do it?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 18th, 2006, 01:43 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
I think there is bi-sexuality.. It's not my bag because I know I want men.

(sorry girls)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 18th, 2006, 01:52 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
Well, this person says he is not bi either :/.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 18th, 2006, 02:03 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5,109
Yes. He tried and didn't like it.

The second time was more like rape so it can't be used as an example of him experimenting.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 18th, 2006, 02:05 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
I think it's possible to just be curious. But I'd think the curiosity would end if he found he didn't like it. His reluctance to discuss it further may indicate a denial factor.

My ex husband is gay. Yeah...imagine my surprise. I however...like men!!
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 18th, 2006, 02:09 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Well, this person says he is not bi either :/.[/b]
I think trying is ok for some.. not an indictation of being gay.. But someone who is really opposed to the idea, might be in denial of his own sexuality..

That's said, I don't think he's weird or anything.. I agree the second time was likely rape.

You guys ever use your gay-dar? (Radar of gays?) I think your heart (soul) tells you for sure if someone is or isn't, IMHO.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
July 18th, 2006, 02:12 PM
kadydid
Guest
Posts: n/a
I know more than a few people who did things with the same sex that are not gay or bi.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
July 18th, 2006, 02:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Darnit Michelle, thanks for ruining all my hopes and dreams
I think it's totally natural to be curious! I really don't put labels on people though, not even homosexual or bisexual...human sexuality is such a complex thing. I say to each their own (I know...I say that alot ) Personally, I'm not going to say I have never found a girl physically attractive before, I think the female form is beautiful. But I tried to kiss a girl once, and I didn't like it at all so I decided it wasn't for me! In the case of your friend, maybe he genuinley was just curious and once he tried it decided it wasn't his cup of tea...or maybe he is more into guys than he likes to admit but is afraid to do so b/c of the stigma attached...who knows?
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
July 18th, 2006, 02:16 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
Posts: 22,176
I think it is possible to be curious and not be gay or bisexual.
__________________
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #10  
July 18th, 2006, 02:21 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Darnit Michelle, thanks for ruining all my hopes and dreams [/b]
Maybe if I ever met you in real life, sparks would fly?

Quote:
I think it's totally natural to be curious! I really don't put labels on people though, not even homosexual or bisexual...human sexuality is such a complex thing. I say to each their own (I know...I say that alot ) Personally, I'm not going to say I have never found a girl physically attractive before, I think the female form is beautiful. But I tried to kiss a girl once, and I didn't like it at all so I decided it wasn't for me! In the case of your friend, maybe he genuinley was just curious and once he tried it decided it wasn't his cup of tea...or maybe he is more into guys than he likes to admit but is afraid to do so b/c of the stigma attached...who knows?[/b]
I agree.. Lots of people make fun of people for this but I think it's possible to love a being that happened to be the same sex.. Not all... I agree the label of homosexuality, hetero, and bi are probably too limiting. (Especially if it's their spirit you're attrached to in the first place.)

Reply With Quote
  #11  
July 18th, 2006, 02:29 PM
Tersh's Avatar DD nurses her baby too!
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Calgary
Posts: 1,869
I've had sexual encounters with women....out of curiousity (and perhaps some alcohol) and still consider myself a hetero. I don't fantasize about women, nor do I want a life with a woman.

Some researchers talk about a sexual orientation scale, where most people fall somewhere other than on the extremes of the scale.
__________________


Thank you to *~Joni~* for my beautiful siggy!!

Reply With Quote
  #12  
July 18th, 2006, 02:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
Quote:
You guys ever use your gay-dar? (Radar of gays?) I think your heart (soul) tells you for sure if someone is or isn't, IMHO.[/b]
I'm not so sure about this. I dated my ex for 4 years before we got married. No idea he was even curious. About 2 years into our marriage...I started picking up on things. We conversed...and came to an agreement. Another couple years later, he was back into old routines (internet searching etc), though he never cheated on me, I couldn't live with the thought that he might prefer to be with men. Finally he met someone (at the gym...how cliche) and fell in love. We were married for 6 years.

Our sex life was VERY ACTIVE (so I don't want people to think that I should have had an idea from lack of sex). If I hadn't snooped around and caught him checking into bi or homosexual things, I would never have known. He was definitely not a "girly man".
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #13  
July 18th, 2006, 02:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,667
I think it's possible to be curious, but not homosexual. I, however, am neither curious nor homosexual.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #14  
July 18th, 2006, 02:37 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Quote:
Quote:

You guys ever use your gay-dar? (Radar of gays?) I think your heart (soul) tells you for sure if someone is or isn't, IMHO.[/b]
I'm not so sure about this. I dated my ex for 4 years before we got married. No idea he was even curious. About 2 years into our marriage...I started picking up on things. We conversed...and came to an agreement. Another couple years later, he was back into old routines (internet searching etc), though he never cheated on me, I couldn't live with the thought that he might prefer to be with men. Finally he met someone (at the gym...how cliche) and fell in love. We were married for 6 years.

Our sex life was VERY ACTIVE (so I don't want people to think that I should have had an idea from lack of sex). If I hadn't snooped around and caught him checking into bi or homosexual things, I would never have known. He was definitely not a "girly man".
[/b]
It's not just you...I dated a guy who went both ways for 6 months. He was living with a man he said was his "uncle", who turned out to be his lover (I guess it should have tipped me off that this guy was black and the guy he lived with was very white, but being from a multi-culti family I didn't think twice!) I had nooo idea, he was definately the last person I would think was attracted to men in any way...and my raydar is the stuff of legends!
__________________
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
July 18th, 2006, 02:50 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I had nooo idea, he was definately the last person I would think was attracted to men in any way...and my raydar is the stuff of legends![/b]
No question Amber and Blondie.. there are always exceptions! (I was just more wondering if anyone heard of it.) I was taught, like Tersh, it's a scale.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
July 18th, 2006, 02:56 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
Oh! Yep! Very familiar with gaydar. In fact I have really tried to 'hone' mine since my marriage!!!
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #17  
July 18th, 2006, 03:01 PM
mrobinson
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Oh! Yep! Very familiar with gaydar. In fact I have really tried to 'hone' mine since my marriage!!! [/b]
I'm glad you guys ended it under such awesome circumstances.. I do feel for you though.. I wasn't trying to imply your gaydar was lacking by any stretch.. (I hope it didn't come across that way.)

Anyway, I would be too!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
July 18th, 2006, 03:08 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,149
Quote:
Quote:
Oh! Yep! Very familiar with gaydar. In fact I have really tried to 'hone' mine since my marriage!!! [/b]
I'm glad you guys ended it under such awesome circumstances.. I do feel for you though.. I wasn't trying to imply your gaydar was lacking by any stretch.. (I hope it didn't come across that way.)

Anyway, I would be too!
[/b]
Nah, I don't take offense too easily. My relationship with my ex is actually very good. We're still friends and talk occasionally. I can't really be mad at him...he can't help who he loves. I was disappointed as I had a really nice life (money, sex, love) and would have been able to be a stay at home mom. But I don't hate him for making a different choice. Why let him resent me in the end? I have no regrets.
__________________
~Amber~

Reply With Quote
  #19  
July 18th, 2006, 04:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Angelo, Texas
Posts: 3,274
I think that humans are naturally curious about things, especially sexuality. I have never had a sexual attraction to another woman, but I do notice when a woman is beautiful. I think that some people are curious in the sense of same gender relations at some point in maybe finding out who they are. That being said, my fiance is what I call a "homophobe". He isn't against gay people, they just scare or intimidate him for some reason lol. (Not just guys either lol).
Amanda
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #20  
July 18th, 2006, 05:24 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,716
sexuality scales

here you go, a list of sexuality scales
__________________
"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:41 AM.