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Rape Awarness

Forum: Heated Debates


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July 20th, 2006, 09:36 AM
Posts: n/a
Let's talk about it. Lets put it out there to educate...
July 20th, 2006, 09:39 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Ok, I have a question...why isn't there a rape/sexual abuse survivors forum here? I think their should be....as well as the abortion forum we already talked about.
Those who love me know how to reach me...it's been real ladies, peace and love!!
July 20th, 2006, 09:41 AM
Posts: n/a
We lots of people who were sex abuse victims in the abusive relationships area.
July 20th, 2006, 10:10 AM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: in my house
Posts: 7,374
I wouldn't share my story on the previous thread because of the negative connotations it was opened with. I refused to share my story for someone to pick apart or point out possible reasons it was my fault.

I was 20 years old and working as waitress at a restaurant. Very often, a large group of us would go out after we got off work to unwind, relax, and talk about all the A-holes we had dealt with that day. I was underage, but there were certain bars that knew us and would the minors slip through. After a few hours and several drinks and shots the bar closed and everyone started heading home. Two of my coworkers and friends noticed that I was pretty inebriated and offered to let me hang out with them for an hour or so and then would drive me back to my car when I sobered up a little. After a few minutes of protesting, and them expressing their honest concern for me, I agreed they were right and I could use an hour and a couple of cups of coffee, so we got in *C's* car and went to their apartment. We got there and were just talking and hanging out for a while, I just remember being so tired. I think I started falling asleep, because the next thing I remember is feeling my arms being held down and the weight on top of me. I realized that *C* was holding me down and *M* had pushed up my skirt and ripped off my underwear. I struggled to get away, I cried, I said "NO" over and over, then they switched places. I was turned over on my stomach and held down by *M* while *C* raped me from behind*, I remember trying to scoot away and he grabbed my legs and yanked me back and told *M* to hold me tighter. When they were done, they just got up and looked at me. I jumped up and pushed down my skirt and started heading to the door, still crying. *C* blocked the door and asked if I was going to tell, I told him I just wanted to leave, he locked the door he said I couldn't leave until we talked about it. *M* opened the door and said "just let her go, man" and casually went about his business.
I was walking to the security gate in front of the complex when *M* chased me down to bring me my shoes (I had left my shoes, my purse and my underwear in the apartment), he said he was sorry and he wanted to talk to me. I just kept walking, I was so scared, after doing what they did I was really afraid of what else they were capable of. He followed me, pleading for my forgiveness, until I got to the guard then he left. I told the guard I needed the phone, and I called my friend to come get me. It was then I realized I had blood all over my inner thighs, yet the guard did nothing else for me.
My friend picked me up and the next morning I went to the hospital and reported it. The rape kit and investigation was like being violated all over again.
It took me years to realize what happened was not my fault anf that they were 100 % responsible for their actions. It was not anything I wore or anything I said, I did not induce the attack in any way. I chose to draw strength from my experience and let it empower me instead of hinder me. I still think about it, it still upsets me but I won't let it run my life.
Wife, Mother of 4, Homeschooling, and wine drinking.

July 20th, 2006, 10:13 AM
Posts: n/a
Stacey, thank you for sharing.. What was it afterwards that helped you realized it wasn't your fault? What helps you heal?
July 20th, 2006, 10:32 AM
Posts: n/a
This website speaks of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) specifically targetted for rape surivivors..

I think a point should be made.. that most people who have been raped would prefer being called a rape survivor rather than a victim. (I know I mess that up sometimes too.)
July 20th, 2006, 10:41 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
I am closing this topic. If you would like to have a rape survivors support board please post this in the feedback board. I do not believe it is appropriate to ask members to share their innermost personal struggles with rape on a debate board. We will be adding new forums soon.


ETA: If you would like to discuss this in the meantime you are welcome to post this in the mental health board or the women's health board as that would be a more appropriate venue for discussion.

Check out my running blog - Wannabe Running Mama
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