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  #1  
July 20th, 2006, 12:15 PM
Colee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you MAKE your children refer to you or their Father as SIR or Ma'am? Reason I ask is because yesterday we were at the library and there was a couple there with their two children(my guess would be 18 monthes and 3,both girls). Well...something shocking to me was the Father asked the older girl a question and because she replied to him "yes Daddy" instead of "yes Sir" he cracked her butt. I was in awe! I thought the child was being respectful,and really didnt deserve the spanking...but of course,I did not see the entire day of her behavior and cannot tell if the spanking was justified(I dont condone spanking,JMO). Anyhow...just wondering how many parents here MAKE their children call them Sir or Ma'am? I do not...of course,I expect respect....but a simple Mommy and Daddy is fine by us:-)
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  #2  
July 20th, 2006, 12:28 PM
** Mandy **
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Oh my gosh... if that father was only scolding his child for not calling him sir that seems ridiculous to me.
DH and I would prefer that our kids call us mom and dad or some variation of that. It seems polite to call others sir or mam but I wouldn't scold them if they didn't as long as they weren't rude in what they were saying. I wouldn't spank them for something like that either. I might consider spanking in a serious situation but not with something like that (and it isn't something that is at the top of my list in doing anyway).
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  #3  
July 20th, 2006, 12:32 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our kids call us Mommy and Daddy. Not even Mom and Dad yet. He cracked her butt? What a jerk. I probably would have stood there with this on my face. Our kids are taught to call other adults Mr. or Mrs. Or mam or sir. Whichever is appropriate. This man should come on the spanking debates...he obviously doesn't spank for the right reasons. Not that I condone it either but he's obviously not spanking her because she's in danger. He's spanking out of anger.
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  #4  
July 20th, 2006, 12:33 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.
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  #5  
July 20th, 2006, 12:59 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
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  #6  
July 20th, 2006, 01:06 PM
kadydid
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My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
[/b]
Must be a southern thing.

I can just imagine what else this kid gets spanked for.
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  #7  
July 20th, 2006, 01:07 PM
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When our daughter gets old enough we would like her to address other adults and sir or ma'am, but I wouldn't punish her (as long as she was still being respectful) if she forgot. I don't see how in any way that little girl's response could have been disrespectful, but like you said, I don't know the whole story. We do plan on spanking our children, but that would definitely not be a time that we would do so. It makes me think of someone spanking their kid for forgetting to say thank you to someone. Too strict IMO.
Amanda

I wanted to add that I'm from Texas also and we were raised to say sir and ma'am to adults but our parents weren't as strict when we were referring to them. I still say sir or ma'am to my elders lol.
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  #8  
July 20th, 2006, 01:09 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
[/b]
Must be a southern thing.

I can just imagine what else this kid gets spanked for.
[/b]
It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?
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  #9  
July 20th, 2006, 01:18 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(StaceyC @ Jul 20 2006, 03:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
[/b]
Must be a southern thing.

I can just imagine what else this kid gets spanked for.
[/b][/quote]

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?
[/b][/quote]

No, I mean saying Ma'am and Sir. I NEVER hear kids here saying Ma'am and Sir. Being at a restaurant or in the grocery store, yes I get called Ma'am (and feel old for it ) but never by kids just being polite...but by employees. My kids know how important manners are. We just don't use Ma'am and Sir where I come from. When I said "maybe it isn't such a bad idea" I meant that at first, it seems kind of strict, very formal...but maybe if we all used it, it would become the norm and a lot of kids wouldn't be such snotty brats
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  #10  
July 20th, 2006, 01:19 PM
mrobinson
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It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
When I was a cadet, I got into the habit of saying ma'am and sir.. Maybe people do get offended by it because then they think they're old... so I try not to say that anymore. I just show manners and respect differently.. so I think I'll be able to teach my kids the same. (I hope.)
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  #11  
July 20th, 2006, 01:20 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(StaceyC @ Jul 20 2006, 03:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
[/b]
Must be a southern thing.

I can just imagine what else this kid gets spanked for.
[/b][/quote]

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?
[/b][/quote]

not just a southern thing. I'm a military brat, and most military brats I know use Ma'am and Sir when refering to anyone. I'll expect my children to say it to Chris and myself (yes, daddy is fine too) and to other adults. They will probably be reprimanded for forgetting it, but I wouldn't spank them. I would correct them though. Nothing wrong with being taught to be polite.
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  #12  
July 20th, 2006, 01:54 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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Quote:
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(LouLouMom @ Jul 20 2006, 02:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
Quote:
My DD does answer yes/no sir/ma'am to DH and I, as well as any other adult. It is not something I would spank her for forgetting as long as her tone and words were respectful. I would probably remind her of the proper response, but she would not be punished for it.[/b]
Saw your Texas blinkie...When we were in Memphis a few years ago for a friends wedding, EVERYONE called me ma'am. I was like, 25 at the time and the first time I heard it, I was like I guess when you consider that most teenagers here talk to adults like crap, maybe asking my kids to say Ma'am and Sir to every adult isn't such a bad idea. Yay for southern manners
[/b]
Must be a southern thing.

I can just imagine what else this kid gets spanked for.
[/b]
It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?
[/b][/quote]

No, I mean saying Ma'am and Sir. I NEVER hear kids here saying Ma'am and Sir. Being at a restaurant or in the grocery store, yes I get called Ma'am (and feel old for it ) but never by kids just being polite...but by employees. My kids know how important manners are. We just don't use Ma'am and Sir where I come from. When I said "maybe it isn't such a bad idea" I meant that at first, it seems kind of strict, very formal...but maybe if we all used it, it would become the norm and a lot of kids wouldn't be such snotty brats
[/b][/quote]
I understood your POV, and I think that the ma'am and sir (outside of military families) is probably a southern thing. I have not been anywhere else, while traveling or moving with the military, that it is as prevalent. I grew up being taught that it was the proper way to address adults, whether my parents, teachers, or the grocery store cashier, if an adult addressed us we were to be respectful. We never were spanked for forgetting these manners, but we were verbally corrected.
I think it is the little things like these lessons that extend to their later lives. I hope that teaching my children something as small as yes/no ma'am/sir will teach them how much respect is valued. It is so telltale, when we are out in public and my DD addresses someone in this way, how so many people are stunned by it. She has received a lot of praise from, what I believe, should be considered the norm...it was for me. I think we have changed so much from a previous society of demanding children be respectful and it being appauling if they weren't to, now, the opposite extreme, when it is surprising when children are polite and respectful. I am glad my daughter sees the appreciation extended for her manners, and I hope that proud feeling she gets when it is recongnized carries over into her later life, so that she will always remember to treat others with respect.
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  #13  
July 20th, 2006, 02:17 PM
kadydid
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[

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
I think you can be polite and well mannered without reciting Yes Ma’am and No ma’am every time you speak with someone. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to use the word ma’am or sir but I don’t think it is every time you are speaking to an adult. It sounds programmed and after a while it can get a bit redundant. I worked with a guy who was from Alabama and every time this guy opened his mouth he Yes ma’am and no Sir all over the place.

My children are very well liked by the parents and teachers where I live, and I really don’t need them to recite the same thing over and over again for them to be thought of as respectful. Maybe down south that is something that people feel you need to do, but it isn’t where I live. So while I don't think it's a bad thing, I certainly wouldn't say it's a good thing.
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  #14  
July 20th, 2006, 02:24 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
[

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
I think you can be polite and well mannered without reciting Yes Ma’am and No ma’am every time you speak with someone. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to use the word ma’am or sir but I don’t think it is every time you are speaking to an adult. It sounds programmed and after a while it can get a bit redundant. I worked with a guy who was from Alabama and every time this guy opened his mouth he Yes ma’am and no Sir all over the place.

My children are very well liked by the parents and teachers where I live, and I really don’t need them to recite the same thing over and over again for them to be thought of as respectful. Maybe down south that is something that people feel you need to do, but it isn’t where I live. So while I don't think it's a bad thing, I certainly wouldn't say it's a good thing.
[/b]
I am put off by the whole "maam and sir" thing. My child gets plenty of compliments from adults when we are out and he never says sir and maam. You can be respectful without it.
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  #15  
July 20th, 2006, 02:49 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
[

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
I think you can be polite and well mannered without reciting Yes Ma’am and No ma’am every time you speak with someone. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to use the word ma’am or sir but I don’t think it is every time you are speaking to an adult. It sounds programmed and after a while it can get a bit redundant. I worked with a guy who was from Alabama and every time this guy opened his mouth he Yes ma’am and no Sir all over the place.

My children are very well liked by the parents and teachers where I live, and I really don’t need them to recite the same thing over and over again for them to be thought of as respectful. Maybe down south that is something that people feel you need to do, but it isn’t where I live. So while I don't think it's a bad thing, I certainly wouldn't say it's a good thing.
[/b]
I am put off by the whole "maam and sir" thing. My child gets plenty of compliments from adults when we are out and he never says sir and maam. You can be respectful without it.
[/b]
I didn't say it was a necessity of respect, however, it is ridiculous to try and find something negative in my children saying it.
It was the way I was raised, and the way I choose to teach my children. I will demand respect for myself and other adults from my children, and it is a lot better than the "yeah" or "what" or "huh" responses I often hear from most children (not saying that any of your children respond in that manner).

Sometimes I think some people just want to find any reason to pass parental judgment! ...seriously! You are going to criticize someone for instilling manners in their children? Call CPS, I make my DD say yes ma'am and no ma'am when she addresses me, she is polite and respectful! What next? ...make her use silverware and bathe??
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  #16  
July 20th, 2006, 03:56 PM
kadydid
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Quote:
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(StaceyC @ Jul 20 2006, 03:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
[

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
I think you can be polite and well mannered without reciting Yes Ma’am and No ma’am every time you speak with someone. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to use the word ma’am or sir but I don’t think it is every time you are speaking to an adult. It sounds programmed and after a while it can get a bit redundant. I worked with a guy who was from Alabama and every time this guy opened his mouth he Yes ma’am and no Sir all over the place.

My children are very well liked by the parents and teachers where I live, and I really don’t need them to recite the same thing over and over again for them to be thought of as respectful. Maybe down south that is something that people feel you need to do, but it isn’t where I live. So while I don't think it's a bad thing, I certainly wouldn't say it's a good thing.
[/b]
I am put off by the whole "maam and sir" thing. My child gets plenty of compliments from adults when we are out and he never says sir and maam. You can be respectful without it.
[/b][/quote]

I didn't say it was a necessity of respect, however, it is ridiculous to try and find something negative in my children saying it.
It was the way I was raised, and the way I choose to teach my children. I will demand respect for myself and other adults from my children, and it is a lot better than the "yeah" or "what" or "huh" responses I often hear from most children (not saying that any of your children respond in that manner).

Sometimes I think some people just want to find any reason to pass parental judgment! ...seriously! You are going to criticize someone for instilling manners in their children? Call CPS, I make my DD say yes ma'am and no ma'am when she addresses me, she is polite and respectful! What next? ...make her use silverware and bathe??
[/b][/quote]
I didn’t say it was a bad thing I just don’t think it’s a good thing. And I don’t even necessarily think it is a respectful thing, I think it is a repeated thing, a very much repeated thing. Have you ever been in a really long line and the when the clerk finishes with each customer she smiles and say’s “thank you, have a nice day”. She doesn’t mean it she is just repeating the same thing over and over again. She really could give a ###### if you or anyone else has a nice day. And in the case of the child in the OP the only reason that child says it is because they will get their little arse tanned if they don’t. That IMO is not respect that is fear. (that comment is directed at the father in the OP not people who have their children say yes sir no sir etc.)

And my southern comment was in regards to everyone saying it in Texas, (ie: the comment “YAY for southern manners”) it is just not very common up here, probably a cultural difference. So again, while I don’t see it is a bad thing, I do not see it as a good thing, so there is no need to call CPS.
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  #17  
July 20th, 2006, 04:01 PM
M!che!!e's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im from up north and i hardly ever hear sir or ma'am except when im at fort hamilton. i remember the first time i was down south and everyone was so polite. and no my husband says it too and i kno that is the army in him talking because he never did it before bct. not that their is a problem with that.

i think it just sounds odd to people who arent used to it. i kno when someone refers to me as ma'am i feel old lol.
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  #18  
July 20th, 2006, 04:02 PM
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My DH was raised in a 'sir/ma'am' family, but I was not. We're both Southern, and I agree it is a lot more common in the South, but my parents weren't very strict about it. DH expects the kids to refer to other adults as sir/ma'am, but doesn't really expect it within our nuclear family. We also wouldn't spank our kids butt in public for not using that term (especially to us.)
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  #19  
July 20th, 2006, 04:04 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(StaceyC @ Jul 20 2006, 03:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
[

It's a southern thing to have manners and show adults respect? I am trying to figure out why that is a bad thing?[/b]
I think you can be polite and well mannered without reciting Yes Ma’am and No ma’am every time you speak with someone. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to use the word ma’am or sir but I don’t think it is every time you are speaking to an adult. It sounds programmed and after a while it can get a bit redundant. I worked with a guy who was from Alabama and every time this guy opened his mouth he Yes ma’am and no Sir all over the place.

My children are very well liked by the parents and teachers where I live, and I really don’t need them to recite the same thing over and over again for them to be thought of as respectful. Maybe down south that is something that people feel you need to do, but it isn’t where I live. So while I don't think it's a bad thing, I certainly wouldn't say it's a good thing.
[/b]
I am put off by the whole "maam and sir" thing. My child gets plenty of compliments from adults when we are out and he never says sir and maam. You can be respectful without it.
[/b][/quote]

I didn't say it was a necessity of respect, however, it is ridiculous to try and find something negative in my children saying it.
It was the way I was raised, and the way I choose to teach my children. I will demand respect for myself and other adults from my children, and it is a lot better than the "yeah" or "what" or "huh" responses I often hear from most children (not saying that any of your children respond in that manner).

Sometimes I think some people just want to find any reason to pass parental judgment! ...seriously! You are going to criticize someone for instilling manners in their children? Call CPS, I make my DD say yes ma'am and no ma'am when she addresses me, she is polite and respectful! What next? ...make her use silverware and bathe??
[/b][/quote]

Stacey, what the heck kind of mother are you anyway?
I think it's a great idea. More kids should have manners like yours
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  #20  
July 20th, 2006, 04:49 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry, I just can't even beleive that this is a debate. And that people would find something wrong with a child having manners. Whether it's something that is said often or not, it's still polite. Please and thankyou are said quite often, that doesn't make it any less polite.
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