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TTC out of wedlock


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  #1  
July 23rd, 2006, 02:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 3,742
I have seen several women on this site who are TTC and not married. What are your thoughts on TTC out of wedlock?
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  #2  
July 23rd, 2006, 02:27 PM
MatteasMommy07's Avatar Member
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Posts: 13
I don't think it's anyones business. And, as has been discussed here before, not everyone believes in marriage.
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  #3  
July 23rd, 2006, 02:31 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,299
Considering that there is no truly self-LESS reason for having a baby, I don't think it matters.

I'm not married and Leo was conceived on purpose. I wanted a baby. Now I'm getting one. THat's why most people ahve babies, right?

Why would those who are married somehow have the 'all clear' to TTC while those who chose not to don't?

Of course, this could parallel the 'Do you Believe in Marriage' debate. I know some people believe strongly that being married is necessary and preferrable when one decides to have a child. I'm just not one of those people
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  #4  
July 23rd, 2006, 02:43 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think as long as they are able to afford to take care of the child, it does not matter. But umarried couples can make just as good of parents as married couples. I agree that marriage may not be for some people while marriage is right for others.
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2006, 02:55 PM
kadydid
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Quote:
I think as long as they are able to afford to take care of the child, it does not matter. But umarried couples can make just as good of parents as married couples. I agree that marriage may not be for some people while marriage is right for others.[/b]
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2006, 03:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 3,742
I support it when the following applies:

1. both parties are committed to being a family for life
2. the couple has a very stronge and healthy relationship
3. they are not having a baby to fix a relationship
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  #8  
July 23rd, 2006, 06:20 PM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,119
Quote:
I think as long as they are able to afford to take care of the child, it does not matter. But umarried couples can make just as good of parents as married couples. I agree that marriage may not be for some people while marriage is right for others.[/b]
Exactly... Not everyone believes in marriage... AND not everyone is allowed to marry... sooo... it's really none of my business if someone wants a child, feels they can care for one, and is TTC unmarried.
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  #9  
July 23rd, 2006, 06:53 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
I have seen several women on this site who are TTC and not married. What are your thoughts on TTC out of wedlock?[/b]
I have zero problem with it and would applaud it for many happy, stable couples. I absolutely HATE it when a couple who is having problems TTC.
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  #10  
July 23rd, 2006, 07:01 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Ontario
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I am not married. One day I would love to get married though. I have a child out of wedlock. She wasnt planned. I think a stable loving couple who arent married are just as entitled to TTC and no one should judge them.

ALSO, being married doesnt mean a happy stable relationship. I have seen every marriage fail. So, yeah.
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  #11  
July 23rd, 2006, 07:05 PM
Tanya G's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Quebec
Posts: 3,929
this again!

Yes I think its totally fine to ttc and be unmarried. I live in a Country that considers me married already. I have all the same rights and laws as a married person. I have to do my taxes as a married person, I have to go through a legal "divorce" to end my relationship. In the eyes of my government I AM married. So for someone like me who is not religious and have not yet been able to afford a marriage, I dont see that it makes a whole lot of a difference to the way my child is raised whether or not me and his father are married, as we are in a stable, loving, life-time committed relationship. To someone who lives in a community where babies out of wedlock are an abomination, I can understand why such an idea may be upsetting, but where I live, I would say the norm is to be common law, not married. I have many friends with children and not a single one is married. No one looks down on me. No one thinks I am trash. I would like to marry my SO one day as we have been engaged now for 3 years, but we simply havent had enough money yet for the wedding we want. That doesnt mean we will provide a less stable home for our son.



Quote:
I support it when the following applies:

1. both parties are committed to being a family for life
2. the couple has a very stronge and healthy relationship
3. they are not having a baby to fix a relationship[/b]
I agree with this.
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  #12  
July 23rd, 2006, 07:06 PM
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We dont really feel the need to get married, its not we dont believe in marriage, in our eyes we are commited for life. We will in the future for legal reasons (he is military and if something happend, god forbid, we want to make sure our family will thrive)
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  #13  
July 23rd, 2006, 09:02 PM
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I don't think it matters if you are married or not.
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  #14  
July 24th, 2006, 11:02 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: San Angelo, Texas
Posts: 3,274
I think as long as the relationship is healthy and the two people are already committed in their minds and hearts for life then it doesn't matter.
Amanda
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  #15  
July 24th, 2006, 02:02 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Houston, TX
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Quote:
I support it when the following applies:

1. both parties are committed to being a family for life
2. the couple has a very stronge and healthy relationship
3. they are not having a baby to fix a relationship[/b]
These things don't apply to all married couples who are TTC either....
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  #16  
July 24th, 2006, 03:46 PM
Colee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northeastern Ohio
Posts: 16,731
It doesnt bother me at all...as long as baby is taking care of,what difference does it make? What DOES bother me is someone that has six children by six Daddy's and ALL of them are taken from the home because of neglect or abuse.
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  #17  
July 26th, 2006, 07:09 AM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,842
Quote:
Considering that there is no truly self-LESS reason for having a baby, I don't think it matters.

I'm not married and Leo was conceived on purpose. I wanted a baby. Now I'm getting one. THat's why most people ahve babies, right?

Why would those who are married somehow have the 'all clear' to TTC while those who chose not to don't?

Of course, this could parallel the 'Do you Believe in Marriage' debate. I know some people believe strongly that being married is necessary and preferrable when one decides to have a child. I'm just not one of those people [/b]
Although Df and I are not TTC until marriage ,I completely & totally agree! If you/and your partner want a baby, than have one. Some marriages don't last, so eventually some people will have children and not be married.
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  #18  
July 26th, 2006, 11:55 AM
** Mandy **
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Location: Ohio
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I think it is a personal choice and not for me to say. Every situation is different.
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  #19  
July 27th, 2006, 12:05 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
Ok, well I'm seriously going to be the minority here. But I don't think that you should TTC out of wedlock(unless you don't believe in marriage, or some other circumstances, there are a few exceptions). But as a general rule, I think that married couples are more committed to each other.

If you are not married and believe in marriage, then why don't you get married? In some cases, that may be because one partner is not ready for that committed of a relationship.

Another part of my reason is because of my religious beliefs. I believe you should be married when you have children. (And no, I wouldn't look down on anyone who did, I was conceived out of wedlock)
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  #20  
July 27th, 2006, 02:03 PM
suthernWVswthrt's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,037
I think it's perfectly fine for someone to TTC and not be married. So many marriage fail these days that there really isn't a difference anymore. A couple that's not married could last longer then a couple that's married.
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