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"My children bore me"


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  #1  
July 28th, 2006, 06:11 AM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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"my children bore me"

Why did she bother having children
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  #2  
July 28th, 2006, 06:38 AM
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Quote:
While all my girlfriends were dropping important careers and occupying their afternoons with cake baking, I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story.[/b]
I don't know which SAHM's she knows, but in this house, there's not a whole lot of time to cake bake

Quote:
The other mothers tease me for my inability to know anything about school life. But since when did masterminding 20 school runs a week become an accomplishment? Getting a First at college was an accomplishment.[/b]
Perhaps they weren't talking about the DRIVING to school but the actual involvment in school ife, which as been proven to help kids stay interested and motivated with school.

Quote:
For years she's listened to her friends proselytising on the sublime act of mothering. 'But no one ever told me how boring it is,' she moaned.[/b]
It doesn't have to be boring! Learn about child psych and apply it to your kids, learn to teach them, join mom's groups that are both intelligent and motivated beyond their kids, get involved in book clubs and take advanced education classes (sometimes free at local colleges!!). Get involved with your kids' learning and be creative about outtings, games, projects, etc.

Quote:
Research tells us that mothers drink the most when they have young children. Is that because talking to anyone under the age of ten requires some sort of lobotomy?[/b]
Maybe your kids aren't intellectually stimulated enough? I know it's not TOTALLY amazing to talk to a child under 10, but there are ways to spark interesting conversations...

Quote:
So how have we reached this point where so many intelligent women are subverting their own needs and desires to that of their children?[/b]
I dunno about you, but this intellectual woman loves being with her kids, and I am intellectual enough to know how to exercise my brain instead of complaining. I also fulfill my needs and desires while still being a SAHM...wow! who knew? It's all about time managment, future planning, and getting involved in THE THINGS YOU LIKE.

Quote:
And yet many women have spent years studying and then working so that we would not have to do a job as menial as full-time motherhood.[/b]
Menial...I'm not even gonna touch this one.

Quote:
Research increasingly shows that child-centred parenting is creating a generation of narcissistic children who cannot function independently.[/b]
Wow, someone better inform the countries that naturally practice AP (that is, they don't call it this...it is just "how people parent"). Their whole populations are in danger!! quick..hurry!!

Quote:
Frankly, as long as you've fed them, sheltered them and told them they are loved, children will be fine[/b]


Quote:
They stopped asking me to take them to the park (how tedious) years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: 'Why don't we get out the Monopoly board?' they simply look at me woefully and sigh: 'Don't bother, Mum, you'll just get bored.'

How right they are.[/b]
And you seem so proud of it!! good for you!
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  #3  
July 28th, 2006, 06:43 AM
Ashes78
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Oh my. I don't see how someone can say being a parent is boring. My kids constantly keep me on my toes, I don't have time to get bored.
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  #4  
July 28th, 2006, 07:03 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
Four words for this woman:
SUMMER CAMP

and

WORKING MOM
(and, no, complaining doesn't qualify! She could easily get some office space somewhere and use that for her writing instead of being home!)
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  #5  
July 28th, 2006, 07:46 AM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3,531
So......make sure my kids have food "Check!"
Make sure they have shelter "Check!"
and tell them I love them every once in a while "Check!"

Ok, good to go! I am sure I will have completely healthy kids that will grow into completely healty adults and have completely healthy relationships!

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  #6  
July 28th, 2006, 07:48 AM
mrobinson
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I know this is one of the last taboos of modern society. To admit that you, a mother of the new millennium, don't find your offspring thoroughly fascinating and enjoyable at all times is a state of affairs very few women are prepared to admit. We feel ashamed, and unfit to be mothers.

This, of course, makes mothers like me who love their children but refuse to cater to their every whim feel vindicated. By sticking to our guns, we have unwittingly created children who can do things like make up stories (very few kids can any more).


I think it's a perfect article for this area.
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  #7  
July 28th, 2006, 07:58 AM
mommywannabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I feel like she bounced around A LOT!! She went from talking about not even wanting to read her kids their bedtime story or go to a sports game/birthday party herself.......to talking about giving children everything they desire. It seems like, to me, that she is despratly trying to vindicate her feelings of barly raising her children herself by throwing it in the article about people spoiling their children. Suddenly being interested in their school work and friends is spoiling??? Man DSD is gonna grow up maladjusted! And playing a board game.......well, we play at least 1-2 games every weekend that we have her so she is gonna be REALLY screwed up by the time she is a teenager!!
I think she is trying to justify her total lack of parenting these two kids by saying "Oh my kids are fine that I completely ignore them and have no interest in their life whatsoever"
Give me a friggin' break!


casey
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  #8  
July 28th, 2006, 08:47 AM
chlodoll
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seems like she found out to late he wasnt meant to have children. i feel so sorry for her kids. i would see this alot where i used to live. my next store neighbour had a live in nanny and chef and she stayed home! all she ever did was tan by the pool. the kids werwe never with her they were aways with the nanny. everyone had a nanny! you would always see a gaggle of white kids with their usually filipino nanny so you know she wasnt theirs. and the majority of the mothers stayed home. some women have children because they think they are supposed to.
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  #9  
July 28th, 2006, 11:27 AM
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I feel sorry for her, seems like she had kids because she thought it was what she was supposed to do.

I feel even more sorry for the kids because they have a disinterested mom.

Hopefully when they are teenagers she'll be able to relate to them more.
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  #10  
July 28th, 2006, 12:21 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Okay, I might get jumped all over for this, but here goes. Scale it down a LOT and I understand where she's coming from. I have had 2 days off since Ethan was born and when I say "day off" I mean 4 hours away from my children. I have to admit that I crave a bit of "me time" every once in a while and yep, most days I look forward to bedtime. *ducking the flying food.*

The only book I can't put down these days is Dr. Seuss's ABC book which my children want read to them repeatedly all day long. I have to admit that the 300th time reading the same book is *what's the word* BORING! BUT-I do it and I do the special voices and all because I want to make my children happy and when they are happy, I am happy. Occasionally, a favorite book gets "lost" and a new favorite takes it's place. I know, *bad mommy, bad mommy* And I do feel the need to escape to JM for a few minutes here and there thruout the day so that I can have an adult conversation. I think there is a middle ground between the 2 poles (her almost neglectful end and the overly involved supermommy end) and I fall somewhere between the 2. My children know how to quietly play by themselves, but they also get to play & interact with mommy quite often as well.

So, although I am sometimes bored, I wouldn't say that being a SAHM is boring, kwim? Like someone else mentioned, there is always something going on to keep you on your toes. Now, I must go clean up the poop off of the living room floor . I love my job!!! (no sarcasm intended!)
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  #11  
July 28th, 2006, 01:25 PM
DahliaMarie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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All mommies need a break, but come on! I really feel for her children!
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  #12  
July 28th, 2006, 01:38 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That woman is a self centered b*tch
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  #13  
July 28th, 2006, 03:14 PM
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Points a finger and laughs

Stupid lady...
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  #14  
July 28th, 2006, 03:55 PM
NaynayPie's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Hiding somewhere in IL
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Quote:
"my children bore me"

Why did she bother having children [/b]
That's much how my parents were. They never cared to learn about me as a person. Maybe that's why I only talk to them about every 3 months on the phone...

~Nay
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  #15  
July 28th, 2006, 05:03 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am truly almost offended by this woman's attitude. I guess what offends me is that she thinks that I (as a reader) am stupid enough to believe that she loves her kids & wants to be a mom & yet begs a nany to stay late to read bedtime stories...

I TOTALLY get the child centered way of life & I personally have found myself critical of it - couple sacrificing their own happiness completely because they are obsessed with keeping their kids happy & making every minute decision perfect. Even if you just went with the flow - children can completely take over every ounce of you & you do have to actively fight to keep hold of a few things that beling to you - maybe a monthly lunch without hte kids, maybe a weekly tennis lesson, whatever - but you do have to work at keeping yourself a priority.. My problem is htat she doesn't seem to see that her kids aren't even almost on the list of priorities & that she doesn't at all feel sad that they not only don't expect her to interact or participate in their lives, but they let her off the hook in a way to defend their own feelings & keep it from being a rejection on her part. She can say all she wants about her kids knowing she loves them, but I am a firm believer that love is an action - not a word. If you don't do anything to show your kids you love them (which means the occassion sacrifice of having a rip-roaring good time in order to allow them to have a rip-roaring good time) then she doesn't even begin to understand the concept of love at all. I have done some of the most boring things, put up with annoying situations, all in the name of not only "allowing" Dh to have a good time, but to also promote it because I love him. If it means I get stuck with a friends weird girlfriend as a "gal pal" for the night, or I have to set through another boring lecture on space-time continuim..I will & I pay attention so he can have stimulating conversation afterward. He does the same for me (and I expect him to) - it is part of showing interest in the person(s) you love & how anyone could have children & NOT think that is integral to the relationship is totally beyond my scope of understanding.
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
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  #16  
July 28th, 2006, 06:05 PM
lea27's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Massachusetts
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[/quote] the act of being with them all day and night is responsible for many mental breakdowns. 'Looking after children makes women depressed,' she concluded. [/quote]




There is some truth to that. Especially being by yourself with children every single day.
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  #17  
July 28th, 2006, 08:47 PM
chlodoll
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Quote:
the act of being with them all day and night is responsible for many mental breakdowns. 'Looking after children makes women depressed,' she concluded.
There is some truth to that. Especially being by yourself with children every single day.
[/quote]

I do agree that there is truth to that aswell. Thats why it is important to have freinds and a good support system. Not a full tim estaff to take care of your children!
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  #18  
July 29th, 2006, 07:57 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Bloomington, Indiana
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
Quote:
"The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers.

I confess that I was probably ogling the merchandise at Harvey Nichols or having my highlights done instead. Of course I love my children as much as any mother, but the truth is I found such events so boring that I made up any excuse."[/b]
This woman is such a selfish [email protected]!!!!! ***!!!! Why did she want to be a mother just to pay someone to take care of them and expeirence life with them?


<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
Quote:
"They know better than to expect me to sit through a cricket match, and they've completely given up on expecting me to spend school holidays taking them to museums or enjoying the latest cinema block-boster alongside them. (I spent two hours texting friends throughout a screening of Pirates Of The Caribbean the other day). "[/b]
The fact that her children "know better" than to expect that from their mother is truely sad. I think her lack of intrest in her children is boardering on neglect.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
Quote:
"Am I a lazy, superficial person because I don't enjoy packing up their sports kit, or making their lunch, or sitting through coffee mornings with other mothers discussing how Mr Science (I can't remember most of the teachers' names) said such and such to Little Johnny and should we all complain to the headmaster"[/b]
Yes!!!!!! Stupid superficial [email protected]!!! I think I would punch her if she was standing in front of me right now. Again, why have children if you didn't want to take care of them? Just becasue you have money (which I assume she does because she has a nanny, is shopping at Harvey Nicols and getting highlights) dosn't mean you should have children. Children are not accessories that you show off when they perform nicely (although it is nice to dress them up to hear everyone say how cute they are ) they are human beings that need care compassion and human interaction. Parenting is about selflessness and sacrifice (and all the rewards that you get for that sacrifice). You should not have children unless you are prepared to be an involved and loving parent. I don't see how this woman can say she loves her children.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
Quote:
"All those glossy magazine spreads showing celebrity mothers looking serene at home with their children serve only to make women feel inadequate. What the pictures don't show is the monotony, loneliness and relentless domesticity that goes with child-rearing.

They don't show the tantrums, the food spills and the ten aborted attempts at putting on shoes. They don't show the husband legging it to the pub so he doesn't have to change a nappy, either"[/b]
Did she just have children becasue it seemd like the hip, in thing to do with all the celebrities? Did she not realize that it takes work? I bet she was too obsessed over dressing her cute little baby bump and which $800 stroller she was going to buy to have time to read one parenting magazine!

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
Quote:
"Frankly, as long as you've fed them, sheltered them and told them they are loved, children will be fine. Mine are at the risk of sounding smug well-adjusted, creative children who respect the concept of work. They also accept my limitations."


"They stopped asking me to take them to the park (how tedious) years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: 'Why don't we get out the Monopoly board?' they simply look at me woefully and sigh: 'Don't bother, Mum, you'll just get bored.' "[/b]
How sad and sickening it is for her to think she is a good mother without ever being involed in any way in their lives. And just because you tell a child that they are loved, dosn't mean they feel it. Didn't she ever hear of"actions speek louder than words"?!


A final note from me...

Yes, it can get boring playing peek-a-boo for the 20th time, but I do it because it brings joy to my daughter and shows that I love her and would do anything to make her happy. When she smiles at me and I know she feels truely happy and loved, that is more than I will ever need from her. Making her happy makes me happy and I think that is why MOST mothers are so devoted to their children.
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  #19  
July 31st, 2006, 05:07 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, why bother having kids?!
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  #20  
July 31st, 2006, 07:39 PM
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Okay everyone is going to hate me but if parenting is mindnuming if you don't make it enjoyable. Instead of reading "Spot" if she likes to read read a book she likes to them. Not once did she mention what she likes. Instead she states what her kids like that she doesn't. If she could get her kids to enjoy the same things she does then that would help. It's hard for me to think "that person isn't ment to be a mother" because my who life I thought that about myself. However I don't think she's trying to be a family. Instead she's blaming culture. Fine if you find school activities boring maby they do to maby you need to find a diffrent school situation.
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