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One Spouse wants children, other doesn't...


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  #1  
July 28th, 2006, 02:57 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
I just watched a movie today about this.

Do you think that if you get married to someone unsure of their wishes on future children--and find out they really want children and you don't----should you still stay together? Marriage is supposed to be forever, but having a baby is really important to a lot of people.
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  #2  
July 28th, 2006, 03:00 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Do you think that if you get married to someone unsure of their wishes on future children--and find out they really want children and you don't----should you still stay together? Marriage is supposed to be forever, but having a baby is really important to a lot of people.[/b]
I personally think it's an absolute thing you both have to agree on.. or the marriage is doomed.
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  #3  
July 28th, 2006, 03:02 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Overland Park, Kansas
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That is such a huge decision factor in a relationship for me. I know I wouldn't compromise on it, and I wouldn't expect my SO to compromise on it...so one of us would always be unhappy and I think that would cause my relationship to fail.
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  #4  
July 28th, 2006, 03:11 PM
Ashes78
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I personally think it's an absolute thing you both have to agree on.. or the marriage is doomed.[/b]
I agree.
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  #5  
July 28th, 2006, 04:04 PM
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I agree with the other posters and wanted to add that I also think it's very important for you and your future spouse to share alot of the same beliefs and morals about life in general. Children is a BIG decision in a relationship and should definitely be figured out prior to marriage IMO.
Amanda
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  #6  
July 28th, 2006, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
I agree with the other posters and wanted to add that I also think it's very important for you and your future spouse to share alot of the same beliefs and morals about life in general. Children is a BIG decision in a relationship and should definitely be figured out prior to marriage IMO.
Amanda[/b]

Yep I agree, it should all be discussed before marriage, its important to have a sit down before you decide to get married and discuss everything about life, morals, values etc what you expect or want because certain factors need to be agreed on.
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  #7  
July 29th, 2006, 07:41 AM
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Dh and I have one child - but don't agree on having more. Prior to getting married DH said he only wanted one child. I don't think our mariage is doomed, simply b/c i'd like to think about another in the FAR AWAY future.
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  #8  
July 29th, 2006, 09:09 AM
kadydid
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Quote:
I just watched a movie today about this.

Do you think that if you get married to someone unsure of their wishes on future children--and find out they really want children and you don't----should you still stay together? Marriage is supposed to be forever, but having a baby is really important to a lot of people.[/b]
I have no idea why they wouldn’t talk about that before they got married. I personally wouldn’t marry someone who wanted something different than I did on such a big issue. It is hard enough for most people to stay married even when they agree on issues, let alone when you don’t agree.
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  #9  
July 29th, 2006, 02:11 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Dh and I have one child - but don't agree on having more. Prior to getting married DH said he only wanted one child. I don't think our mariage is doomed, simply b/c i'd like to think about another in the FAR AWAY future.[/b]
But you have a child...this would be a whole diffrent issue if you didn't have achild, badly wanted one & Dh was saying "never".
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  #10  
July 29th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Tanya G's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think ppl can change their minds though. SO didnt want to have kids till he was in his 30s and then some stuff happened that changed his mind on that and he wanted one immediately and now he has had baby on the brain for months and wants another one already!! I think it can be a very difficult barrier in a relationship, but at the same time, the person who doesnt want to have children may change their mind. When I was 22 thought I would NEVER want to have kids, just didnt think it was for me and by 25 I was ttc.
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  #11  
July 29th, 2006, 06:09 PM
friskycat01's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think that is one issue you should get stright befor getting married. Now if someone said the didn't and changed their mind after, I think it is a deal breaker. I want children and I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't.
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