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Is it selfish?

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May 16th, 2007, 02:42 PM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 242
Do you think it is selfish to participate in risky/dangerous activities when you have children?
I have always been an adrenaline junkie. Before I had kids I went skydiving, white water rafting, bungee jumping, drag boat racing... the list goes on, you get the idea! I've always wanted to go hang-gliding and now I have the opportunity to do it. One part of me wants to say "this is something you've wanted to do since you saw your first bird flying." and the other part is saying "Wake up! If you smash yourself into the side of a cliff your kids wont have a mom!".
So... even though I REALLY want to I am not going to go. The couple that I would go with have 3 kids under 7 and when I told them why I wasn't going they said "that's part of the thrill [the risk]!"
Are they being selfish?
Carolyn, Mommy to:
Peyton~ 12/12/2004 6lbs 6ozs, 19"
Cadence~ 1/11/2007 2lbs 3ozs 13"

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May 16th, 2007, 02:54 PM
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
I don't think so(as long as it's not something extrememly dangerous).. I really hate this feeling actually. I used to be a student pilot and wanted to be a pilot for my career. I quit when I got pregnant, and I feel ridden with guilt anytime I think about going back to flying. I love flying, but I feel too guilty.
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May 16th, 2007, 03:17 PM
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I think people should do what makes them happy. Heck, its a risk getting in the car to drive on the highway every day, but we aren't considered selfish to do it. Being a parent doesn't change the fact that you're a person first, parent second. If you want to hand-glide...hand-glide. It will teach your children to enjoy life to the fullest.

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May 16th, 2007, 04:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
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We do risky activities... we bungee jump... we sling shot... I hike mountians... I will do anything once... its not selfish... Its about your outlook on life and doing things that you think is fun... Guess what... I wanna jump out of a plane as well...

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May 16th, 2007, 05:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Gainesville, FL
Posts: 2,306
While I personally won't do anything like that, I don't have a big problem with people who do. Rhink about it - if a person is a police officer (a job with high risk of injury or death), should we say that he or she should change jobs before having kids?

I will say, however, that if someone does decide to do something risky... I hope they check their life insurance policies before doing so. There are many policies that will NOT pay benefits if you die doing a high-risk activity such as skydiving, hangliding and bungee jumping. Unless you declare that such activites are part of your lifestyle when you sign on to your policy (and in all probability, pay higher rates as a result), your family won't get benefits paid to them upon your death. So to protect your children and/or husband, just make sure you're covered.
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May 16th, 2007, 06:30 PM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No, I don't think it's necessarily selfish. Honestly, freak things happen every day and ANYTHING could kill you. Walking down the street, driving a car, even sitting in your house... if it's your time, it's your time, KWIM?
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May 16th, 2007, 06:59 PM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think it is being selfish at all, as long as you are taking all the necessary precautions and not just acting recklessly. Everything is a risk, you can't live under a rock. That's no fun.

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May 16th, 2007, 09:17 PM
rdhdtrue's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it is the individual that needs to decide. I will say that after kids I definitely think twice on any risky activity. My primary reason is because I really have no one dependable to leave them with. My parents are very elderly and the other side is ok to visit but not to stay . I really love roller coasters and started thinking twice about them after my first was born.
Miss Dani has Hurler's Syndrome (MPS1) and had a Bone Marrow Transplant 11/09/2006. Check out how she is doing here http://danicaboni.blogspot.com
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May 16th, 2007, 11:06 PM
ReedsMama06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, I was going to say no... I was thinking about ILLEGAL risky recreational activities if you know what i am saying lol.

I dont know... I think that most things are fine to do even if you have kids. If you find it fun and have the chance to do it why not? I am not a real risk taker but that is just me. IDK there are certain things that i dont think are ok but nothing is coming to mind at the moment.

I know it is not "recreational" per se, but me and DH know a few guys that volunteer for every single convoy when they are deployed to Iraq and look forward to going back just for the action... And both ironically have wives and children with special needs. IDK... I know it is for the greater good or whatever but still. I think they do it for the wrong reasons.
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May 17th, 2007, 08:08 AM
littleln's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,145
I don't think it's selfish at all.

Enjoy your life and I think it's better for your children to see you happy rather than someday realizing you were holding back and not doing the things you enjoy becuase of them. They might wonder if you resent them. As long as you are safe as you can be and aren't going to do anything really really stupid, I dont' see a problem.

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May 17th, 2007, 09:24 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
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I don't think it's selfish unless it is something illegal and/or guaranteed to harm. IMO, there is risk in everything. I mean, look at how many car accidents there are and how many deaths they produce - yet you'd hardly stop driving your car because you have kids, right?

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