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  #1  
May 31st, 2007, 08:42 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
I know some of you will think "I would never put myself in that situation, but just for this debate, please pretend you were"

If you got pregnant to a man(say it was a one night stand) who didn't want you to keep the child, but you had the baby, would you file for childsupport?

Would your financial situation play a part in your decision?

Why?

- if this should be under abortion debate please tell me and I'll move it, I wasn't sure sine it refernced abortion, but wasn't debating abortion.
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  #2  
May 31st, 2007, 08:46 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
I don't think I would actually.. Althought the other man definately should contribute--takes two to tango.. But I guess I wouldn't want him in my life. It's really hard to say really.
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  #3  
May 31st, 2007, 08:48 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
For me, it would depend on my financial situation. If I could easily do it on my own and be comfortable, no, I wouldn't file. But if I needed the help, I would file for child support. Whether the guy wanted the baby or not is irrelevant, he had sex too and he should be prepared for the consequences of that action, IMO.
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  #4  
May 31st, 2007, 08:49 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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Location: Near Washington, DC
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Yes I would. If he didn't want the child, he should have thought of that before he had sex. When you have sex with someone, you're saying that you're willing to assuming the responsibility of a child (if not emotionally, then financially). A woman shouldn't be blackmailed into having an abortion because the guy says "Kill it or I won't pay".
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  #5  
May 31st, 2007, 09:16 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
What if he then decided to be a part of the child's life? Would if be fair to expect him to pay 1/2 of the child's expenses?
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  #6  
May 31st, 2007, 09:31 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, that would be fair.
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  #7  
May 31st, 2007, 09:42 AM
*Aspen*
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I AM WITH LOTUS

oops caps srry naking
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  #8  
May 31st, 2007, 10:24 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I AM SO GLAD! teehehe
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  #9  
May 31st, 2007, 10:25 AM
*Aspen*
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LOL!!
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  #10  
May 31st, 2007, 10:57 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 16,959
Yep, I'd file for child support. Usually child support doesn't even cover child care expenses....
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  #12  
May 31st, 2007, 11:04 AM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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Quote:
Yes I would. If he didn't want the child, he should have thought of that before he had sex. When you have sex with someone, you're saying that you're willing to assuming the responsibility of a child (if not emotionally, then financially).[/b]
Ditto.

ETA And I would do so even if I did not want him in my life - because my child deserves the opportunity to know who their father is and that I did not prevent him access (unless there was some reason he would be unfit).
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  #13  
May 31st, 2007, 11:06 AM
mom_knows_best's Avatar Super Mommy
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Defiantly.. To me sex is like a contract lol. Both people should take responsible actions to what could happen. It wasn’t just one person, takes two to tango.
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  #14  
May 31st, 2007, 11:41 AM
tevinsangel
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I wouldn't because I most likely would not want a one night stand hanging around in my life. I wouldn't inform him that I was pregnant or anything. I would definitely keep his information though just in case my child would want to know who their biological father was someday (for a relationship or medical stuff etc).
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  #15  
May 31st, 2007, 11:45 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Location: New Jersey
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Quote:
Yes I would. If he didn't want the child, he should have thought of that before he had sex. When you have sex with someone, you're saying that you're willing to assuming the responsibility of a child (if not emotionally, then financially). A woman shouldn't be blackmailed into having an abortion because the guy says "Kill it or I won't pay".[/b]

I 100% agree! It takes 2 people to get pregnant. Why should the woman shoulder all of the responsibility when they both got themselves into that situation. Any adult should be fully aware that pregnancy is possible any time you have sex with someone. If you don't want to take that chance at all then keep it in your pants!
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  #17  
May 31st, 2007, 11:51 AM
*Aspen*
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Quote:
Quote:
I wouldn't because I most likely would not want a one night stand hanging around in my life. I wouldn't inform him that I was pregnant or anything. I would definitely keep his information though just in case my child would want to know who their biological father was someday (for a relationship or medical stuff etc).[/b]

This brings up another issue. If both of you were willing participants, and both knew it was going to be a one night stand, is it fair to not tell him. He wasn't doing anything wrong since you both were willing (I think its wrong, but thats why I wouldn't be willing) so why should he be punished by not ever knowing he even has a child? Assuming hes a generally nice guy who wouldn't beat the kid or anything, what is gained by keeping him in the dark? You (general) did the same exact thing as he did, how can you profess to be a worthy parent to the baby, yet him not even deserve the chance?
[/b]
I agree. I think men have a right to know they have a child.
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  #18  
May 31st, 2007, 11:58 AM
tevinsangel
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I've never had a one night stand but the thought of a complete stranger and his family and friends (that I know nothing about) playing an active role in my child's life, scares me. Perhaps, I would see if I could get to know the guy better, see if he is stable, normal, hopefully not a psycho. If after a few months (before I started showing etc), I felt he would be a positive role model, then I would let him know. If he did not want to be involved though, I would not pursue child support etc. I would just have him sign away his parental rights because I wouldn't want to deal with him, his mother etc. down the road (guess I've seen to many talk shows lol).
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  #19  
May 31st, 2007, 12:02 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
If you got pregnant to a man(say it was a one night stand) who didn't want you to keep the child, but you had the baby, would you file for childsupport?

Would your financial situation play a part in your decision?

Why?

- if this should be under abortion debate please tell me and I'll move it, I wasn't sure sine it refernced abortion, but wasn't debating abortion.[/b]
(I would have aborted but I'll pretend I had the baby.)

This is a tough one. My nieces's mom never did demand money from the father (Dh's brother) and she did it. I think she was on assistance for awhile as well but I don't know if *I* possess the same class she does. I probably would because once the baby is here, no holds barred. The more proper option would be to get support from the government instead. (I truly feel in my heart you can't drain blood from a stone, but I would try.)
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