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  #1  
May 31st, 2007, 10:45 AM
donomama
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This is always an area of contention between me and my husband. He grew up having birthdays that were no big deal. His mom made a cake, he invited one friend over for dinner and cake and he maybe had a present. He never had a birthday party. I, on the other hand, grew up having the biggest deal out of my birthday. I always had a party, my mom woke me up with breakfast in bed, she decorated my bedroom while I was at school, I got tons of presents. These are the kinds of birthdays I want my children to have. It was the greatest memory. My MIL thinks that it is totally spoiling a child to go all out for their birthday, I think you can't possibly do enough to make their day special. What do you think?
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  #2  
May 31st, 2007, 10:48 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
Mine were somewhere in between. My parents always made sure I had cake and we either went out to dinner or I got to chose what we had for dinner. Sometimes I had a birthday party but not every year. I think you have to do what feels right for you and your family. However, it is something that you have to work out with your DH. Tell you MIL she can butt her nose right back out of your business. She raised her children now you are raising yours.
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  #3  
May 31st, 2007, 10:50 AM
*Aspen*
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Quote:
This is always an area of contention between me and my husband. He grew up having birthdays that were no big deal. His mom made a cake, he invited one friend over for dinner and cake and he maybe had a present. He never had a birthday party. I, on the other hand, grew up having the biggest deal out of my birthday. I always had a party, my mom woke me up with breakfast in bed, she decorated my bedroom while I was at school, I got tons of presents. These are the kinds of birthdays I want my children to have. It was the greatest memory. My MIL thinks that it is totally spoiling a child to go all out for their birthday, I think you can't possibly do enough to make their day special. What do you think?[/b]
It is one day out of the year that is ALL about the child. Why not make it memorable and go all out? Dh didn't grow up with these types of things either and he doesn't think they are a big deal now....he says "I didn't have that stuff while I grew up, it just wasn't a big deal"...and it makes me so mad...He didn't do that stuff because he didn't HAVE a family to do that stuff! His mom was a crackhead and his dad is an alcoholic, they didn't do crap for their kids!

Kailey is having a birthday party this year. A bbq at our house, cake...balloons.....we bought her a Baby V Smile. The older she gets the more elaborate her birthday parties will be. I love remembering my birthday parties as a child. I want my dd to have those special memories too.

Quote:
Mine were somewhere in between. My parents always made sure I had cake and we either went out to dinner or I got to chose what we had for dinner. Sometimes I had a birthday party but not every year. I think you have to do what feels right for you and your family. However, it is something that you have to work out with your DH. Tell you MIL she can butt her nose right back out of your business. She raised her children now you are raising yours.[/b]
Ditto!
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  #4  
May 31st, 2007, 10:53 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 751
I say go all out. I have the best memories of birthday parties from when I was younger, I had a hawaiian louau (sp.) birthday party when I was only like 7 and it is one of my best childhood memories.

My SO is the same way. Birthdays (and holidays honestly) are no big deal to him and they weren't a big deal in his family growing up.
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  #5  
May 31st, 2007, 10:57 AM
*Aspen*
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Do people make a bigger deal out of a girls birthday party than a boys? I'm wondering if this is because parents may not decorate as much for a boy (because it may be seen as girly) so it's not played up as much? What about boys who don't do sleepovers because that is "for girls"....that knocks another "fun" thing off the list of things to do on a birthday party....
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  #6  
May 31st, 2007, 11:12 AM
ahixon
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That is so funny, my husband is the same way, he doesn't think that the kids need a party every year. As long as I am able my kids will have a party every year, I may start combining them since all of my kids birthday's are very close, but it will still be a big party. This year we are having it at the lake where we are staying for three nights with all of our friends, I can't wait. I still decorate for my boy's parties, but they are still young. I love having them a party though, it is their day, and even if I start combining them I will still do something small for them on the day of their birthday.
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  #7  
May 31st, 2007, 12:02 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
This is always an area of contention between me and my husband. He grew up having birthdays that were no big deal. His mom made a cake, he invited one friend over for dinner and cake and he maybe had a present. He never had a birthday party. I, on the other hand, grew up having the biggest deal out of my birthday. I always had a party, my mom woke me up with breakfast in bed, she decorated my bedroom while I was at school, I got tons of presents. These are the kinds of birthdays I want my children to have. It was the greatest memory. My MIL thinks that it is totally spoiling a child to go all out for their birthday, I think you can't possibly do enough to make their day special. What do you think?[/b]
That's what happened to me when I was little!

Quote:
Tell you MIL she can butt her nose right back out of your business. She raised her children now you are raising yours.[/b]
((nodding in agreement))

Quote:
Do people make a bigger deal out of a girls birthday party than a boys? I'm wondering if this is because parents may not decorate as much for a boy (because it may be seen as girly) so it's not played up as much? What about boys who don't do sleepovers because that is "for girls"....that knocks another "fun" thing off the list of things to do on a birthday party....[/b]
I have two brothers and they got the same treatment ~ lots of friends, and a big party.

I think birthdays are the best days! I think they should be over the top special. It's their day.
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  #8  
May 31st, 2007, 12:10 PM
*Aspen*
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I agree. I LOVE planning parties!!
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  #9  
May 31st, 2007, 12:29 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
I had b-day parties till I reached 4. Then They stopped. The years would go by and I would watch my 2 sisters and my brother have great birthday parties. Mean while I got nothing. My grandma would make me a cake and bring it over. I asked my mom once why i didnt have a birthday party nor presents from her. She said the cake is your present. Im like its a ckae she said I have better things to spend my money on. This year was different my bf had a b-day party here for me he invited my friends it was great
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  #10  
May 31st, 2007, 12:35 PM
*Aspen*
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Quote:
I had b-day parties till I reached 4. Then They stopped. The years would go by and I would watch my 2 sisters and my brother have great birthday parties. Mean while I got nothing. My grandma would make me a cake and bring it over. I asked my mom once why i didnt have a birthday party nor presents from her. She said the cake is your present. Im like its a ckae she said I have better things to spend my money on. This year was different my bf had a b-day party here for me he invited my friends it was great [/b]
**HUGS**

I've gone through a lot of things like this...
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  #11  
May 31st, 2007, 12:37 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Quote:
Quote:
I had b-day parties till I reached 4. Then They stopped. The years would go by and I would watch my 2 sisters and my brother have great birthday parties. Mean while I got nothing. My grandma would make me a cake and bring it over. I asked my mom once why i didnt have a birthday party nor presents from her. She said the cake is your present. Im like its a ckae she said I have better things to spend my money on. This year was different my bf had a b-day party here for me he invited my friends it was great [/b]
**HUGS**

I've gone through a lot of things like this...
[/b]

It sucks to know she treats me different from everyone else. But I make sure my girls have big blow out b-day parties and they always have a great time
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  #12  
May 31st, 2007, 12:48 PM
M4NE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In a state of confusion
Posts: 2,453
DH and I went through the exact same thing with Daniel's first birthday. He didn't want to make a big deal out of it b/c his parents had never made a big fuss over birthdays. He and I had one of our biggest fights EVER!! (Of course, I was 7 months pg at the time...not a good time to pick a fight with me, LOL) My parents went all out for my birthdays until I went to college. And I go all out for my boys....they usually end up with 3 parties. One at school, one on the day of their birthday with just Mommy, Daddy, and brothers, and then a big party for family and friends on the weekend closest to their birthday. This is their special day and it's also a special day for me as their mommy...I want to make the effort to show them how special they are.
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  #13  
May 31st, 2007, 01:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lafayette, Indiana
Posts: 4,213
Mine were somewhere in between. I opted out for parties with friends at about age 8. I realized I didn't like being the center of attention. But, my parents always made sure I had presents (pretty much whatever I asked for) and left me special notes in the morning, put up these embarrassing "Happy Birthday Ann" banners in and OUTSIDE the house and let me choose what I wanted to do (small sleepover, movie, dinner out, etc...). I'll make the parties as big as she wants them to be (without breaking the bank of course). My DH's family was nonchalant about birthday; he got one or two gifts and a cake...he was never allowed to have parties with friends....but I think he'll be the opposite when it comes to our kids...I can see him going all out too!
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  #14  
May 31st, 2007, 01:24 PM
donomama
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What's with all our husbands getting shafted on their birthdays?


Ann - I love your new siggie. Emma is just beautiful.
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  #16  
May 31st, 2007, 01:37 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
Quote:
Ok...I am like a birthday FANATIC! EVERYONE should have a birthday SEASON (or week) IMO. I do My birthday season starts in January and ends in May.

I don't like to hear that people (kids especially) get shafted on their birthdays (not about presents, but just about the whole 'special' feeling, kwim?). It makes me sad.

I don't think you are spoiling a child just by having a birthday party. Lala is having her birthday party on Sunday (her bday is tomorrow....she's gonna be two, and getting so big where did my baby go?!)...so...lol...we are gonna have a blowout (as with the other kiddos too). LOL for david's birthday (4th) we had like 9 kiddos, a pinata, two cakes, and games galore! Can we spell M-E-S-S....and F-U-N? I am a kid at heart.[/b]

Well HAPPY EARLY 2nd Birthday to LALA
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  #17  
May 31st, 2007, 01:38 PM
*Aspen*
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Hi Cece!!!!
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  #18  
May 31st, 2007, 01:42 PM
donomama
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Cece - You're back!!!! Did you have a good time with Cisko?
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  #19  
May 31st, 2007, 01:46 PM
Ms.Michelle
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Quote:
Cece - You're back!!!! Did you have a good time with Cisko?[/b]


Lala!
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