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Child Support Spinoff

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June 4th, 2007, 08:59 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 42,367
IMO, if the money is needed for the kids, there is nothing selfish in pursuing it.

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June 4th, 2007, 09:16 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Do I think you are selfish? No. Would I continue to pursue it? No. To me I would rather cut ties from the beginning than continue to fight it, just because I wouldn't want to waste my energy.
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June 4th, 2007, 09:23 AM
lotus86's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Annapolis, MD
Posts: 3,759
I agree with Megan. And I just want to say, I think it is CRAZY that you are getting less than his other kids. It's not fair. And why are his wages, tax refunds and property not garnished?! That is so crazy! I hope you can find him and get what's owed to you Cece. Is there any way you could petition to get the support amount raised once you are able to find him?
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June 4th, 2007, 09:26 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(quietsong @ Jun 4 2007, 09:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>IMO, if the money is needed for the kids, there is nothing selfish in pursuing it.[/b]
So either way, pursuing it or not, is not selfish? (Which, to a point and in some circumstances, I agree to).
The reasoning behind either is what makes it selfish, not the act itself. If you are pursuing CS for your children, then no, it's not selfish. IMO, if a parent doesn't contribute enough to the child then they need to pay support. BUT, I also take into consideration other factors and I can't make a judgment call without knowing all the facts. In your case, you are not selfish at all.
Duh! (Not to you, to me). Of course the selfishness (or lack thereof) is dependant on the intent of the parent. Stupid me. That's where I was getting confused at, because I have seen both statements made, and was wondering if people were just telling me what I want to hear (about me not being selfish). I understand now.

I guess the real question is, regardless of the lack of selfishness, what is better for the child?

Is there a way that I could pursue the support, without having to remain in contact with the (deadbeat) fathers? That way, my kids could get the support, but not have to face with the heartbreak, kwim?
[/b][/quote]I'm not sure but I think that in some states Child Support and visitation are seperate matters...so technically you could terminate rights on the basis of abandonment but still pursue CS. I would check out the laws in your state.
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June 4th, 2007, 11:21 AM
Posts: n/a
Cece - I don't really have any advice, but I just want to say that no, I don't think you are selfish for going after child support. If you need the help, don't feel one bit bad for going after it.
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June 4th, 2007, 12:14 PM
EmilysMommy04's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Horseheads NY
Posts: 1,997
ok Thats not selfish. Its selfish for people to say anything about it. I went to court for support for my daughter. I was told it was unfair. It wasnt unfair to make him pay for his child. What was unfair was we had an agreement on support 300.00 a mnth well he broke that aggreement by only paying me 200 a mnth then 100 a mnth then he started only giving me 50 a month. I told him he needed to keep to the agreement. He said I cant because If I do then I cant afford to get anymore ink. Well that is to f*in bad i replied. Well I took him to court for my divorce they did custody and support there. He didnt show up to any of the court dates . I was granted sole custody the first court date because he showed no interest in his child. then For support court He didnt show they asked where he worked I told them they found out his wages and I get 468 a mnth for now till he gets a raise then they are automatically taking it out. After that I was granted my divorce. He complains he is broke blah blah blah. He pays 345 for rent on a 2 bedroom. His electric and gas bills during the winter dont go over 120 a mnth. During the summer the electric bills are 68 dollars a month. Those are his bills besides his cell phone but thats all him running them up. He is a freaken corrections officer he has no money my butt. He doesnt have any other bills . He has told me he shouldnt be paying child support because my bf gets to see his daughter everyday. I said well he didnt climb up on top of me and me preggers you did. I said and you destroyed your own family by cheating . You did it all to yourself. Now he is selfish. So no i dont think you are being selfish. You are doing whats in the best interest of your child. To be honest courts dont care how the other parent lives as long as that child is taken care of. Hey fight for your child/children tehy deserve the very best.

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June 4th, 2007, 02:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,780
He has a job, can't they garnish his wages or something?

I can see not pursing child support if the dad has no job and no money, but in your case he does have a job so it seems worth pursuing.

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June 4th, 2007, 02:52 PM
Posts: n/a
Cece, I just don't know what to say. Your situation is heartbreaking and the reality of what so many moms go through who tried to be responsible by having kids. I wish I had advice but some people out there think by screwing you on money, they are hurting just you.

I'm sorry he is being so selfish.
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June 5th, 2007, 03:36 AM
Marissa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,703
CeCe, you are not being selfish, do not ever think that. You deserve to get child support for your children. HE helped make them, so he can help take care of them finacially. He is supporting the other two children he helped make so he can certainly help support your children too.

It's not fair that they keep closing down your case like that. They should be making him pay child support - and the child support payments for your kids should be as much as the other two girls are getting for their kids. Not less! That is completely unfair.

Keep pursuring it. Even if you have to call everyday. Even if you can't afford an attorney, maybe just call and ask if they can give you an opinion and options to get a proper amount of CS out of this guy.

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