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Children's savings accounts.


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  #1  
June 4th, 2007, 02:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Lafayette, Indiana
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What do you think about people taking money out of their children's savings accounts when the "going gets tough." My DH and have always said we wouldn't unless Emma became very ill and needed medical help we couldn't afford. WDYT? Is it ever okay? Should it always be off limits? What if you take it out and you aren't really in a place that you can ever put it back in for them?
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  #2  
June 4th, 2007, 02:13 PM
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Brody has a savings account. Until he got that he had a piggy bank. We have borrowed from it and I see nothing wrong with that. Especially since WE are the ones putting money into it to begin with. To help US pay for things for him when he needs them...so technically its OUR money (that we're setting aside for him).

Until he starts working and saving his OWN earned money...I feel we have perfect rights to his. Actually the account that is set up in his name, he cannot even access it (to withdraw) until he's 18. We as his parents are the only ones who can do that.

Edited to change "once" to "until".
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  #4  
June 4th, 2007, 02:50 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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No, we don't touch that money. First off, because then we'd get into a habit and she wouldn't have any savings; and second, because we're not the only ones who put money in the account. Her great-grandparents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles all give her money on holidays/birthdays/etc, and that money goes straight into her account. I'd actually rather them get her money or savings bonds (which they usually do) instead of random toys that she'll outgrow. She still gets toys and all from them, but nothing huge.
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  #5  
June 4th, 2007, 02:52 PM
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Quote:
No, we don't touch that money. First off, because then we'd get into a habit and she wouldn't have any savings; and second, because we're not the only ones who put money in the account. Her great-grandparents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles all give her money on holidays/birthdays/etc, and that money goes straight into her account. I'd actually rather them get her money or savings bonds (which they usually do) instead of random toys that she'll outgrow. She still gets toys and all from them, but nothing huge.[/b]
Quick question for you on the savings bonds. Brody has a couple and I'm not sure where to put them. The longer you keep them the more they're worth...so doesn't putting them in an account right away make them not worth as much? Just curious becuase I'm trying to find a safe/secure place to keep Brody's for him.
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  #6  
June 4th, 2007, 03:30 PM
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We keep our daughter's savings bonds in a safe at home. My parents had saved money for me so that I could attend college . I ran off and got married and they took my money and spent it on a cruise to Mexico. They did warn me if I got married before college that they would spend it. I still don't think they had a right to do that. I think they were thinking more of themselves and trying to control me because they didn't like my DH (fiance at the time).
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  #7  
June 4th, 2007, 03:33 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
We keep our daughter's savings bonds in a safe at home. My parents had saved money for me so that I could attend college . I ran off and got married and they took my money and spent it on a cruise to Mexico. They did warn me if I got married before college that they would spend it. I still don't think they had a right to do that. I think they were thinking more of themselves and trying to control me because they didn't like my DH (fiance at the time).[/b]

maybe I'm in the minority here, but I think they had every right to spend it. It was THEIR money.
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  #8  
June 4th, 2007, 03:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
No, we don't touch that money. First off, because then we'd get into a habit and she wouldn't have any savings; and second, because we're not the only ones who put money in the account. Her great-grandparents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles all give her money on holidays/birthdays/etc, and that money goes straight into her account. I'd actually rather them get her money or savings bonds (which they usually do) instead of random toys that she'll outgrow. She still gets toys and all from them, but nothing huge.[/b]

We put money into it but the majority of it has come from relatives' gifts to her....I don't think we know how much of it was "ours" and how much of it was gifts to her to be able to seperate it.
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  #9  
June 4th, 2007, 03:51 PM
*Aspen*
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Unless it's an emergency, no way.

My parents took money out of my savings as a teen to pay for their wedding. Perhaps instead of buying a 7000 ring for my mom they used that money to get married....

I couldn't get a car until they paid me back because that was all the money I had in savings.
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  #10  
June 4th, 2007, 03:56 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
We keep our daughter's savings bonds in a safe at home. My parents had saved money for me so that I could attend college . I ran off and got married and they took my money and spent it on a cruise to Mexico. They did warn me if I got married before college that they would spend it. I still don't think they had a right to do that. I think they were thinking more of themselves and trying to control me because they didn't like my DH (fiance at the time).[/b]

maybe I'm in the minority here, but I think they had every right to spend it. It was THEIR money.[/b]
Nope, I'm with you. If *I* am the one putting the money in...I have every right to take it out. Once DS is putting his own earned money in (or gift money from relatives...not us) THEN I will feel I don't have the right to touch it. Right now though...DH and I are the only ones adding money.
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  #11  
June 4th, 2007, 04:01 PM
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Quote:
No, we don't touch that money. First off, because then we'd get into a habit and she wouldn't have any savings; and second, because we're not the only ones who put money in the account. Her great-grandparents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles all give her money on holidays/birthdays/etc, and that money goes straight into her account. I'd actually rather them get her money or savings bonds (which they usually do) instead of random toys that she'll outgrow. She still gets toys and all from them, but nothing huge.[/b]
Same here. There is some money in their accounts that I have put there, I save up change and deposit that from time, but for the most part it's gifts from family and friends, and since the kids have all they need in toys and clothing I put it into the bank for one day when they want something big, like maybe their first car - we haven't got that far yet. But it's not for dipping into by us - it's technically not our money since it has been designated for them, and I would feel as if I was stealing from my child if I were to use it.
If it was either take it out or starve then I would think about it, but I really can't foresee that ever happening. If we did get in that much trouble financially I would probably get welfare, and since I know people on welfare, and they have enough money to feed and house their family and smoke and drink, and we don't smoke, I think even then we wouldn't need to pilfer from the kiddos.
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  #12  
June 4th, 2007, 04:07 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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Quote:
Quote:
We keep our daughter's savings bonds in a safe at home. My parents had saved money for me so that I could attend college . I ran off and got married and they took my money and spent it on a cruise to Mexico. They did warn me if I got married before college that they would spend it. I still don't think they had a right to do that. I think they were thinking more of themselves and trying to control me because they didn't like my DH (fiance at the time).[/b]

maybe I'm in the minority here, but I think they had every right to spend it. It was THEIR money.
[/b]

I agree. In that case, it was their money that they were saving for you for a specific use, and since it wasn't going to be needed for that, they might as well have it back and enjoy it.
If you had been contributing to it, and putting birthday gift money etc that would be different.
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  #13  
June 4th, 2007, 04:15 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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Quote:
Quote:
No, we don't touch that money. First off, because then we'd get into a habit and she wouldn't have any savings; and second, because we're not the only ones who put money in the account. Her great-grandparents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles all give her money on holidays/birthdays/etc, and that money goes straight into her account. I'd actually rather them get her money or savings bonds (which they usually do) instead of random toys that she'll outgrow. She still gets toys and all from them, but nothing huge.[/b]
Quick question for you on the savings bonds. Brody has a couple and I'm not sure where to put them. The longer you keep them the more they're worth...so doesn't putting them in an account right away make them not worth as much? Just curious becuase I'm trying to find a safe/secure place to keep Brody's for him.
[/b]
We just keep them in an envelope in our safe at home. I should have clarified lol
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  #14  
June 4th, 2007, 04:21 PM
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We have an account for our daughters. No we won't touch it even in financial difficulty. Unless we were starving and had no where else to turn or we needed it for medical expenses and had no other option. But I set up this account to help her out with college or whatever and I don't intend to use it just because I am having it tight at home.
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  #15  
June 4th, 2007, 04:33 PM
Tofu Bacon
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Nope, that money is his.
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  #16  
June 4th, 2007, 04:35 PM
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I think a parent should be free to spend money that they themselves put away, even if the account has their kid's name on it. (Assuming this is a true emergency...) However, any money put in the account by anybody else (grandma, or the child himself, etc) should be strictly off-limits no matter what.
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  #17  
June 4th, 2007, 04:44 PM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Brody has a savings account. Until he got that he had a piggy bank. We have borrowed from it and I see nothing wrong with that. Especially since WE are the ones putting money into it to begin with. To help US pay for things for him when he needs them...so technically its OUR money (that we're setting aside for him).

Until he starts working and saving his OWN earned money...I feel we have perfect rights to his. Actually the account that is set up in his name, he cannot even access it (to withdraw) until he's 18. We as his parents are the only ones who can do that.[/b]
ITA with this. I have RESP's set up to save money for thier college and if family wants to give them money as a gift, then the money goes in there. But a savings account is something only thier dad and I would put money into for them, so if we need it then sure we will borrow it.
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  #18  
June 4th, 2007, 04:56 PM
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If it is absolutly needed. Then it's better to use it then be homeless or starving. That's AFTER all other options are used
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  #19  
June 4th, 2007, 09:49 PM
ahixon
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I borrow from my kids here and there. Nothing big, maybe $5.00. I am the one putting the money in there, and I am sure they won't have a problem borrowing from me at some point in life. I alway's pay it back though. A couple of weeks ago my husband took out $5.00 to make change for a friend, and the next day as soon as he got home Walker asked him where his money was, I laughed so hard that he was keeping up with his money. Right now none of my kids have accounts, just piggy banks, but I will probably open one for Walker on his next birthday.
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  #20  
June 6th, 2007, 07:26 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
We keep our daughter's savings bonds in a safe at home. My parents had saved money for me so that I could attend college . I ran off and got married and they took my money and spent it on a cruise to Mexico. They did warn me if I got married before college that they would spend it. I still don't think they had a right to do that. I think they were thinking more of themselves and trying to control me because they didn't like my DH (fiance at the time).[/b]

maybe I'm in the minority here, but I think they had every right to spend it. It was THEIR money.
[/b]

I agree. In that case, it was their money that they were saving for you for a specific use, and since it wasn't going to be needed for that, they might as well have it back and enjoy it.
If you had been contributing to it, and putting birthday gift money etc that would be different.
[/b]
(Okay a little rant and a bit of background on things. I'm hoping you can see it from my point of view.)

But that's just it. I did need it. I'm 27 and still have not been able to go to school yet. I'm hoping to be able to go after our second child comes. My mother has always done things that were considered wrong and my father always followed her lead. Do you also think it was ok for them to buy me a car and then take it away? One night when I was having a migraine, I called them to let them know I was unable to come home from my fiance's parents home. I told them I would come home first thing in the morning (I even told them I would sleep on the couch and his parents were home). Where is the trust? I did have a migraine and I did sleep on the couch. They told me my father would be there first thing in the morning and take the car. They then sold it to a friend (this friend is highly regarded by my parents and is looked at as a "perfect" son by them. Who knows why. I had even dated him at one point months before he moved in to our house and he slept in the room next door to mine. BTW the friend at the time was an illegal immigrant. Seems they had trust in me then?) Nope, it wasn't a restriction... So they had a right to take it and sell it because they bought it and GAVE it to me, right? If my fiance was a lawyer or doctor, they wouldn't have had a problem at all.. trust me. My brother did far worse things than I did while growing up, yet he never got punished. Why is that? Probably because he told my parents to go to hell and laugh at them every time they tried to restrict him or tell him to do a chore. I did my best as their daughter to do the right thing. I didn't lie, cheat. or steal from them.. yet they had absolutely no trust in me because I picked the man they didn't approve of. They didn't like him because he lived in Norfolk, Va. They believed everyone who lives in Norfolk is trash and ghetto. That is far from the truth.

It's alright. Yes, it was their money. And yes, if they hadn't saved it.. I'd be where I am today anyway. They put that money in savings to provide good educational support for me so that I would have a good beginning and be able to support myself. They took it away because they didn't like who I married. They were hoping that while I went to school I would find someone else to become attached to and leave my DH behind. They wanted it their way and their way only. Shove aside love and look for where the money is at, that is the impression my mother gave me. I don't hold it against them even though I believe it was wrong. I was pointing it out because of the topic of this post. I have to laugh though when my mother and father ask me when I am going to go to college because it would be good for my family (as if they actually care?). This is the woman who told me I'd be living in a cardboard box on the street and my DH would be the black sheep of the family.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long ranting post. My parents are a sensitive topic for me and I could write a book about how much we have been through. And I'd love to say that they have always done right for me and are the most perfect and caring people I know. But, I can't.

I love them and always will, but I won't feel totally comfortable confiding in them or asking anything of them. They are the type to give only when given something in trade.

So, while I thank you for your opinion on this matter.. understand that I have gone through a lot with my parents and them spending that money was only one of the many many things they have done (that could be considered dirty and for their personal gain). I'm going to leave it at that.
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