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Are some children incapable of making good grades?


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  #1  
June 8th, 2007, 05:34 PM
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The reward system for grades made me think about this---people were saying "if your kid tries hard and still gets a C...". Is this really possible to try hard and still do poorly? Do not include children with disabilities of any sort. I don't think it's possible to try hard and get a C. IF you are truly trying hard -- A's or B's. That said, I'm sure plenty of parents prevent their kiddos from making good grades because of their lack of enforcement and "as long as you're tryign attitude". I mean, is that attitude really a good thing? "All I ask is that you do your best.."?? I don't think that's encouraging excellence.
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  #2  
June 8th, 2007, 06:27 PM
chlodoll
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I believe its possible to try hard and not succeed. I had a very good friend in school who would start all her projects and assignments right away and work hard on them but she never got good grades. I would read her essays and they just were not good. She tried but they still sucked. Maybe some people just dont have certain things in them.
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  #3  
June 8th, 2007, 09:03 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'd always been an A/B student (B's mostly in the math and science areas). By the time I got to calculus senior year of HS, I was trying really hard for a C. The class went too fast for me, the math was too abstract, the teacher was confusing and I got behind. However I did not get a tutor like I should have, I just got frustrated and dropped out after the first semester. Took my C- and split! To this day calculus scares the bejesus out of me!

I believe everyone has at least an area or two where their mind just goes, "Uhhhh...." and calculus was that for me. For someone else maybe it is conjugating Spanish verbs or remembering history dates. And that's completely without any learning disabilities being considered.
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  #4  
June 8th, 2007, 09:13 PM
*Aspen*
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I'd always been an A/B student (B's mostly in the math and science areas). By the time I got to calculus senior year of HS, I was trying really hard for a C. The class went too fast for me, the math was too abstract, the teacher was confusing and I got behind. However I did not get a tutor like I should have, I just got frustrated and dropped out after the first semester. Took my C- and split! To this day calculus scares the bejesus out of me!

I believe everyone has at least an area or two where their mind just goes, "Uhhhh...." and calculus was that for me. For someone else maybe it is conjugating Spanish verbs or remembering history dates. And that's completely without any learning disabilities being considered.[/b]
I dropped out of Spanish 3 due to conjugating verbs. I just "didn't get it"....it was like I was starting a whole new language over again.

Chemistry.....I LOVE science, and I WANTED to be brilliant with Chemistry...I tried SO SO HARD in that class. I even spoke with my teacher and she didn't teach me with the rest of the class. She made up totally separate assignments and lesson plans JUST FOR ME...I'd spend HOURS at home working and reworking problems and equations and formulas and it just never stuck. I tried SO hard and was so disappointed when I still was failing tests and quizzes. I would get excited taking them, thinking I was doing a good job finally and that all my hard hard work had paid off....only to get a paper back with a bunch of red ink I even went to my old science teacher, thinking maybe he could "get the formula through my head" but to no avail...

For what I'd "like" to do for a career, I'd have to master in Chemistry....and I'm TERRIFIED. It's honestly the number one thing that is turning me away from pursuing that career

So when I hear things like this:
Quote:
I don't think it's possible to try hard and get a C. IF you are truly trying hard -- A's or B's[/b]
it's disheartening and sad.

Quote:
That said, I'm sure plenty of parents prevent their kiddos from making good grades because of their lack of enforcement and "as long as you're tryign attitude". I mean, is that attitude really a good thing? "All I ask is that you do your best.."?? I don't think that's encouraging excellence.[/b]
Excellence....why must we expect our children to be rocket scientists? Not everyone will be excellent in everything they come across in life, the only thing you can ask is for someone to do their best. You can't go past that....there is no more past the "best" a person can do....it's past their capacity to fulfill anything beyond "best". Telling a child "your best is not enough, *I* need MORE from you" is NOT giving children the credit of them working hard for what they can do to the best of their abilities.
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  #6  
June 8th, 2007, 09:19 PM
*Aspen*
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Quote:
Quote:
The reward system for grades made me think about this---people were saying "if your kid tries hard and still gets a C...". Is this really possible to try hard and still do poorly? Do not include children with disabilities of any sort. I don't think it's possible to try hard and get a C. IF you are truly trying hard -- A's or B's. That said, I'm sure plenty of parents prevent their kiddos from making good grades because of their lack of enforcement and "as long as you're tryign attitude". I mean, is that attitude really a good thing? "All I ask is that you do your best.."?? I don't think that's encouraging excellence.[/b]
I went to five different high schools. During one year, while I was in process of switching schools, I fell behind in Geometry. Now, considering that I had an A in Geometry only a couple of weeks before, at a more 'prestigious' school, I obviously held education in high regard -at least, at that time in my schooling (i.e., I put forth effort ). My new Geometry class was at an entirely different chapter than where I left off, so I was really, really falling behind. I failed the class, miserably (we're talking like a 30% average); but my teacher felt bad for me (I studied every night, did all of my homework, and even took tutoring), so he gave me a D. My grandparents (I was living with them at the time) did not scold me or punish me for that grade, because they KNEW HOW HARD I was trying to get that grade back up.
[/b]
Reminds me of my previous science teacher (the year before chemistry) I was taking physics and I do not understand a freaking thing to do with physics. I worked my butt off and at the end of the year after finals that he told me I failed, I cried and started yelling at him because I was so upset. I was so angry that I worked so hard and I was going to fail my first class ever. He took pity on me and passed me (barely) because he knew darn well how hard I worked my butt off. Some things I just did not get.

If I were to take the time and learn these things NOW, I probably could, because my mind is more developed now, so for me, I would probably be able to understand now, but back then......my brain just wasn't ready.
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  #7  
June 8th, 2007, 09:29 PM
chlodoll
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I am SOO bad at math. I was so pleased to see my 51% and avoided it ever since LOL! I had a tutor and everything I just cant comprehend it. I dont have a learning disability because I can excel at every other subject that doesnt involve math.
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  #8  
June 8th, 2007, 11:50 PM
kadydid
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My kids generally get mostly get As and Bs and the occasional C, but a few times a bad grade has slipped in there. My oldest last year got an F in Music on his progress report. Apparently he did not like his teacher and actually thought I would not care if he got an F in music. He was wrong Its just music he says

But if he were in a class where I knew he was struggling with the work and I seen him working on it and I worked with him too, I would not take away privileges. I think you know if your kid is not trying between what you see at home and what the teacher is saying.

My middle son has ADD and was doing terrible in school when he was younger, then we got him a tutor and he got caught up and had some extra help and he was doing much better. Then all of a sudden his grades seemed to be slipping again. Turned out he was legally blind. I did not have him on medication for ADD and wondered if he could just not concentrate, but it turns out he just couldnt see. He did not even know that his vision was that flawed. We got him glasses and he had straight Bs on his last report card.
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  #9  
June 8th, 2007, 11:58 PM
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I am completely lost when it comes to math, always have been. I would put every ounce of my brain power into math, but could never fully grasp the concept. Too abstract, I suppose, I don't know, I just never could get the hang of it. I struggled all through school just to pass every math class I took, and college math, I dropped within the first 2 weeks. I am very "right brained" and I excel at reading, writing and art, the analytical and abstract concept of math always escaped me, though.
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  #10  
June 9th, 2007, 06:14 AM
KarateMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
IF you are truly trying hard -- A's or B's.[/b]
When I was a junior in high school, I was taking Algebra 2. I've always considered myself a "math dunce", I worked my rear end off to try and pass, did my homework, went in after school and at lunch time to have the teacher give me extra help, and TO THIS DAY I swear I only passed the class with a C because the teacher had mercy on me and saw that I was trying so hard. I simply could not understand the concepts and I was really trying my absolute best.

I think that part of my problem with math was not developing a good basic foundation in addition, subtraction, and multiplication!
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  #11  
June 9th, 2007, 06:28 AM
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Quote:
So when I hear things like this:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
I don't think it's possible to try hard and get a C. IF you are truly trying hard -- A's or B's[/b]
it's disheartening and sad.

Excellence....why must we expect our children to be rocket scientists? Not everyone will be excellent in everything they come across in life, the only thing you can ask is for someone to do their best. You can't go past that....there is no more past the "best" a person can do....it's past their capacity to fulfill anything beyond "best". Telling a child "your best is not enough, *I* need MORE from you" is NOT giving children the credit of them working hard for what they can do to the best of their abilities.
[/b][/quote]
I was meaning A's and B's in most classes if they are really trying. Of course there will be the occasional class that just does not click right with you.

Should we expect them to be average? I think you should encourage them to 'reach for the stars' and 'do more than their personal best'. Astronauts don't do their 'best', they push themselves to extremes to get what they want out of life. I just think that saying "as long as you are doing your best" is encouraging mediocraty. What if they get a D and you say "well as long as you did your best".. Of course the kid will say "I did". Then the kid thinks "well a D is acceptable to my parents, so I don't need to try harder".

ETA: Why can't we expect our kids to become rocket scientists, or doctors, or pilots, or lawyers? Why can't they be? A child is not going to believe they can be such things if you don't tell them that. And if they get C's in school--and you're telling them that they are doing their best. Well, there goes that pipe dream.
Quote:
I am completely lost when it comes to math, always have been. I would put every ounce of my brain power into math, but could never fully grasp the concept. Too abstract, I suppose, I don't know, I just never could get the hang of it. I struggled all through school just to pass every math class I took, and college math, I dropped within the first 2 weeks. I am very "right brained" and I excel at reading, writing and art, the analytical and abstract concept of math always escaped me, though.[/b]
Me too. I could NEVER understand math. I think math teachers have two different teaching methods. Some I can understand no problem, others I'm lost from the first day. I actually got a C in Alg 1 in high school, then a 99% in Alg 2... How does that make sense? The Alg 2 teacher actually expected a lot more out of us too. Since I've been in college, math has come a ton easier to me. I think maybe our brains just are not ready for advanced math's early on.
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  #12  
June 9th, 2007, 06:36 AM
*Aspen*
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You cannot ask someone to do more than their best, it's not in their capacity.
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  #13  
June 9th, 2007, 06:38 AM
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^Nobody really knows what their best is. Just when you think you have done everything-- there is something else you could have done.
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  #14  
June 9th, 2007, 06:49 AM
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Should we expect them to be average? I think you should encourage them to 'reach for the stars' and 'do more than their personal best'. Astronauts don't do their 'best', they push themselves to extremes to get what they want out of life. I just think that saying "as long as you are doing your best" is encouraging mediocraty. What if they get a D and you say "well as long as you did your best".. Of course the kid will say "I did". Then the kid thinks "well a D is acceptable to my parents, so I don't need to try harder".

ETA: Why can't we expect our kids to become rocket scientists, or doctors, or pilots, or lawyers? Why can't they be? A child is not going to believe they can be such things if you don't tell them that. And if they get C's in school--and you're telling them that they are doing their best. Well, there goes that pipe dream.[/b]
I expect Kailey to be Kailey----whether that is average or excellent or is someone how doesn't learn well at all....SO BE IT! I cannot FORCE her to be something she is not. I will not tell her that her best is never enough. I will never make her feel disappointed and not good enough for herself. I will never make her feel like her best is not worthy of a "good job" because *I* want better from her.

Of course I will ecourage her to reach for the stars and I will tell her she can do anything in the world she sets her mind to. Why is their personal best NOT reaching for the stars?!?!? Why is doing everything she can to her fullest capacity NOT reaching for the stars and being excellent?

Mediocrity..... You seem to think that being excellent is being SUPER DUPER smart. Is average a bad thing? I do not encourage her to be average or better according to my standards. I encourage her to be HER! I NEVER want to make her feel less than others because I repeatedly tell her over and over "your best is not enough"....basically YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. How is that helping?!?!

I do NOT consider her best to be mediocre...

As for this::
Quote:
What if they get a D and you say "well as long as you did your best".. Of course the kid will say "I did". Then the kid thinks "well a D is acceptable to my parents, so I don't need to try harder".[/b]
Again, you imply that unless a child is smarter than smart, they are idiots who don't care. I will be very involved in my child's schoolwork, so I will NEVER say that and I will never make it be to where my daughter thinks this way. What don't you get about "best" is the HARDEST a person can do? There is no more......it's blank......it ends there....
It's not about ME accepting their grades.....Just because I strive for my daughter to be the best she can be and do does not mean I am a mother who doesn't care and will turn a blind eye to my child's academics and say "oh well, you did your best"... There is INVOLVEMENT. As long as I *KNOW* my child is doing her best, and she worked long and hard and put forth tons of effort......how can I be angry at that?? How can I then look her in the face and say "it's not good enough" (you are not good enough)??? THAT right there is setting a child up for failure on so many psychological and emotional levels

Quote:
^Nobody really knows what their best is. Just when you think you have done everything-- there is something else you could have done.[/b]
I do not agree with that.

So it's up to you to decide what your child's best is? If a child doesn't know what their best is, how the heck can a different person (stranger, parent, sibling) know what that child's best is?

Telling a child their best is not good enough (when they work ###### hard for what they've done)....is WRONG on so many levels. It's a slap in the face to the child and it's not giving them credit for all the hard work they have done. It's instilling feelings of "I'll never be good enough for my parents" into the child.

I WILL NEVER DO THAT.
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  #15  
June 9th, 2007, 06:49 AM
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I don't agree with pushing and pushing and pushing a child. That does not make for a happy child. It's more important to me for my child to be happy. There is more to life than academics. If he's great at, say, science, and hates literature, I am not going to push him do excell at EVERYTHING. He can excell in the subjects he likes, and the ones he doesn't like he should still try and grasp, but I don't expect my child to be perfect.
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  #16  
June 9th, 2007, 06:50 AM
*Aspen*
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I don't agree with pushing and pushing and pushing a child. That does not make for a happy child. It's more important to me for my child to be happy. There is more to life than academics. If he's great at, say, science, and hates literature, I am not going to push him do excell at EVERYTHING. He can excell in the subjects he likes, and the ones he doesn't like he should still try and grasp, but I don't expect my child to be perfect.[/b]
Ditto.
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  #17  
June 9th, 2007, 07:05 AM
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Quote:
I expect Kailey to be Kailey----whether that is average or excellent or is someone how doesn't learn well at all....SO BE IT! I cannot FORCE her to be something she is not. I will not tell her that her best is never enough. I will never make her feel disappointed and not good enough for herself. I will never make her feel like her best is not worthy of a "good job" because *I* want better from her.

Of course I will ecourage her to reach for the stars and I will tell her she can do anything in the world she sets her mind to. Why is their personal best NOT reaching for the stars?!?!? Why is doing everything she can to her fullest capacity NOT reaching for the stars and being excellent?

Mediocrity..... You seem to think that being excellent is being SUPER DUPER smart. Is average a bad thing? I do not encourage her to be average or better according to my standards. I encourage her to be HER! I NEVER want to make her feel less than others because I repeatedly tell her over and over "your best is not enough"....basically YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. How is that helping?!?!

I do NOT consider her best to be mediocre...[/b]
I never once said that you should tell your child they are not good enough, or not smart enough. It's not about forcing them, it's about making them believe that they are capable of doing great things. If they think a D is the best they can do, then they will never dream of being a Doctor--because they will think they are not smart enough. When in reality, anyone who tries hard enough(barring disabilities), even if it takes staying up all night studying can do these things. It's all in how much faith you have in yourself and your abilities. I want my daughter to know she is capable of doing ANYTHING, not that a D she gets in school is her best.



Quote:
Again, you imply that unless a child is smarter than smart, they are idiots who don't care. I will be very involved in my child's schoolwork, so I will NEVER say that and I will never make it be to where my daughter thinks this way. What don't you get about "best" is the HARDEST a person can do? There is no more......it's blank......it ends there....
It's not about ME accepting their grades.....Just because I strive for my daughter to be the best she can be and do does not mean I am a mother who doesn't care and will turn a blind eye to my child's academics and say "oh well, you did your best"... There is INVOLVEMENT. As long as I *KNOW* my child is doing her best, and she worked long and hard and put forth tons of effort......how can I be angry at that?? How can I then look her in the face and say "it's not good enough" (you are not good enough)??? THAT right there is setting a child up for failure on so many psychological and emotional levels [/b]
Maybe I'm wrong, but in my experience--those with good grades never had parents who accepted mediocrity as 'ok'. They pushed their children to always try harder, study more, listen more attentively. There is always SOMETHING a person can improve on.

Quote:
Quote:
^Nobody really knows what their best is. Just when you think you have done everything-- there is something else you could have done.[/b]
I do not agree with that.

So it's up to you to decide what your child's best is? If a child doesn't know what their best is, how the heck can a different person (stranger, parent, sibling) know what that child's best is?

Telling a child their best is not good enough (when they work ###### hard for what they've done)....is WRONG on so many levels. It's a slap in the face to the child and it's not giving them credit for all the hard work they have done. It's instilling feelings of "I'll never be good enough for my parents" into the child.

I WILL NEVER DO THAT.
[/b]
Did I say to tell them they are not good enough? Geez, quit reading into my words. There is ALWAYS something more a person can do. People don't get into prestigious professions by doing their personal best, they improve their personal best as time goes on, they aim to have a new personal best. They see their weaknesses and improve on those. They go to bed earlier so they can think more clearly on test day. There is always something that can be done.

Say a child studies for 5 hours one night and flunks a test the next day. Would you say they did their best? The child probably thinks so. And maybe you do too, because he studied for 5 hours the day before. But could he improved? Yes, he could have studied daily rather than cramming, which possibly would have helped his test scores, or maybe he should have gone to bed earlier to be more alert on test day, or maybe he could have read the entire chapter instead of studying only the study guide.

What about a marathon runner? At first their personal best may be a mile in 12 minutes. That is their personal best. Can their personal best be improved upon? Yes. With continued work and sacrifice--he can make his new personal best 7 minutes.

Quote:
I don't agree with pushing and pushing and pushing a child. That does not make for a happy child. It's more important to me for my child to be happy. There is more to life than academics. If he's great at, say, science, and hates literature, I am not going to push him do excell at EVERYTHING. He can excell in the subjects he likes, and the ones he doesn't like he should still try and grasp, but I don't expect my child to be perfect.[/b]
Is a child going to be happy if they feel like a failure academically? IF you don't expect your child to do a good job, do you think he/she will care?(general you)
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  #18  
June 9th, 2007, 07:36 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
I expect Kailey to be Kailey----whether that is average or excellent or is someone how doesn't learn well at all....SO BE IT! I cannot FORCE her to be something she is not. I will not tell her that her best is never enough. I will never make her feel disappointed and not good enough for herself. I will never make her feel like her best is not worthy of a "good job" because *I* want better from her.

Of course I will ecourage her to reach for the stars and I will tell her she can do anything in the world she sets her mind to. Why is their personal best NOT reaching for the stars?!?!? Why is doing everything she can to her fullest capacity NOT reaching for the stars and being excellent?

Mediocrity..... You seem to think that being excellent is being SUPER DUPER smart. Is average a bad thing? I do not encourage her to be average or better according to my standards. I encourage her to be HER! I NEVER want to make her feel less than others because I repeatedly tell her over and over "your best is not enough"....basically YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. How is that helping?!?!

I do NOT consider her best to be mediocre...[/b]
I never once said that you should tell your child they are not good enough, or not smart enough. It's not about forcing them, it's about making them believe that they are capable of doing great things. If they think a D is the best they can do, then they will never dream of being a Doctor--because they will think they are not smart enough. When in reality, anyone who tries hard enough(barring disabilities), even if it takes staying up all night studying can do these things. It's all in how much faith you have in yourself and your abilities. I want my daughter to know she is capable of doing ANYTHING, not that a D she gets in school is her best.



Quote:
Again, you imply that unless a child is smarter than smart, they are idiots who don't care. I will be very involved in my child's schoolwork, so I will NEVER say that and I will never make it be to where my daughter thinks this way. What don't you get about "best" is the HARDEST a person can do? There is no more......it's blank......it ends there....
It's not about ME accepting their grades.....Just because I strive for my daughter to be the best she can be and do does not mean I am a mother who doesn't care and will turn a blind eye to my child's academics and say "oh well, you did your best"... There is INVOLVEMENT. As long as I *KNOW* my child is doing her best, and she worked long and hard and put forth tons of effort......how can I be angry at that?? How can I then look her in the face and say "it's not good enough" (you are not good enough)??? THAT right there is setting a child up for failure on so many psychological and emotional levels [/b]
Maybe I'm wrong, but in my experience--those with good grades never had parents who accepted mediocrity as 'ok'. They pushed their children to always try harder, study more, listen more attentively. There is always SOMETHING a person can improve on.

Quote:
Quote:
^Nobody really knows what their best is. Just when you think you have done everything-- there is something else you could have done.[/b]
I do not agree with that.

So it's up to you to decide what your child's best is? If a child doesn't know what their best is, how the heck can a different person (stranger, parent, sibling) know what that child's best is?

Telling a child their best is not good enough (when they work ###### hard for what they've done)....is WRONG on so many levels. It's a slap in the face to the child and it's not giving them credit for all the hard work they have done. It's instilling feelings of "I'll never be good enough for my parents" into the child.

I WILL NEVER DO THAT.
[/b]
Did I say to tell them they are not good enough? Geez, quit reading into my words. There is ALWAYS something more a person can do. People don't get into prestigious professions by doing their personal best, they improve their personal best as time goes on, they aim to have a new personal best. They see their weaknesses and improve on those. They go to bed earlier so they can think more clearly on test day. There is always something that can be done.

Say a child studies for 5 hours one night and flunks a test the next day. Would you say they did their best? The child probably thinks so. And maybe you do too, because he studied for 5 hours the day before. But could he improved? Yes, he could have studied daily rather than cramming, which possibly would have helped his test scores, or maybe he should have gone to bed earlier to be more alert on test day, or maybe he could have read the entire chapter instead of studying only the study guide.

What about a marathon runner? At first their personal best may be a mile in 12 minutes. That is their personal best. Can their personal best be improved upon? Yes. With continued work and sacrifice--he can make his new personal best 7 minutes.

Quote:
I don't agree with pushing and pushing and pushing a child. That does not make for a happy child. It's more important to me for my child to be happy. There is more to life than academics. If he's great at, say, science, and hates literature, I am not going to push him do excell at EVERYTHING. He can excell in the subjects he likes, and the ones he doesn't like he should still try and grasp, but I don't expect my child to be perfect.[/b]
Is a child going to be happy if they feel like a failure academically? IF you don't expect your child to do a good job, do you think he/she will care?(general you)
[/b]
What's more important to you- that your kid is a sucess at EVERYTHING and gets perfect grades? Or that your kid is happy and is great at some subjects and just OK at others?

Pushing, and excessively high expectations do NOT make for a good parent child relationship. It makes a child feel like they can never measure up to what mom and dad want them to do/be. It makes them feel like they are not good enough somehow. It makes them unhappy with who they are. It makes them think they need to be perfect in order to be loved. That is just not real life. No one is perfect. Love and approval should be unconditional from your family. Family should accept a child for who they are, embrace that they are good at some things and not others.

I expect that my son will be great at some subjects, and just OK at others. This is normal.
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  #19  
June 9th, 2007, 07:39 AM
Cereal Killer's Avatar Aiming for mediocrity
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I can remember in school busting my hump for an algebra test, I studied SOOOOO hard. I felt really confident after taking the test, and the next day got back my grade, A B!!! I was sooo excited! I went home and handed my parent's that test, with a huge smile on my face (remember, I SUCK AT MATH, this had NEVER happened before), and waited for all of the pride and boastful compliments I was going to receive for all that hard work. They looked at it and said "good job, if you tried harder it would have been an A."
"But, but, but....I...I...worked soooo hard for that, aren't you proud?"
"Show us an A, then we will really be proud."

I don't think I needed to be "pushed", I was being "pushed". What I needed was to be motivated, to be validated.

FTR-a friend that I went to high school with made the occassional C, in her highschool career. She is now a neurosurgeon. Just sayin's all.....
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June 9th, 2007, 07:43 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 15,982
I think I agree with a more moderate version of what Laura (HoorahFly)'s saying.

It was just a *given* in my household, in all of my friends' households, in my DH's household - that you will work very hard at school and get good grades. And we did it because we WANTED to, NOT because our parents were the crazy kind who pushed us to be rocket scientists at 8 years old or grounded us for a B. I got satisfaction out of getting good grades, and it made me want to work harder when I got not so great grades in math. It was the same with all of my friends, with DH, with all the people who I surrounded myself with. But that's a whole different debate And unless we see that DD has a learning disability, it will be the same in our household now.

When you're school-aged, your job is SCHOOL. Not friends, not TV, no computer. TV, friends, and computers won't get you into college, or trade school, or a good spot in the military. Someone just posted a graduation speech, outlining how these graduates are screwed because of the world situation. I think it's a little nuts to be encouraging a kid to be happy with a D. There are not a whole lot of people that will fail a class after trying very, very hard, with tutors and extra studying and trying different ways of learning. The person who can fail after all of that is the exception to the rule, and maybe even has a learning disability. I'm NOT talking about just failing or doing poorly in ONE calculus class because you don't understand the material, that happens to the best of people. I'm talking about consisent, across the board Cs, or consistent Cs in one subject.

To add to all of that, part of a PARENT'S responsibility in this equation, is helping your child learn. Reinforcing what they learn at school, by studying with them at home; if you see them struggling with rote memorization, help them think up different ways to remember their material. It doesn't surprise me one bit that homeschooled kids often score higher on standardized tests, because they have their lessons tailored to their individual needs. While we can't expect a public school to do the same...a parent can certainly keep up with what their kid is learning, and reinforce it at home in a way the child will REALLY understand. Can't tell you how many memories I have in my childhood of my mother doing multiplication with me on a car ride to the grocery store, or drawing pictures to help remember evolution.

Just wanted to add, about my mom, that was when I was in HIGH SCHOOL. A parents job at helping with education doesn't end when a kid graduates from 8th grade.

Quote:
I can remember in school busting my hump for an algebra test, I studied SOOOOO hard. I felt really confident after taking the test, and the next day got back my grade, A B!!! I was sooo excited! I went home and handed my parent's that test, with a huge smile on my face (remember, I SUCK AT MATH, this had NEVER happened before), and waited for all of the pride and boastful compliments I was going to receive for all that hard work. They looked at it and said "good job, if you tried harder it would have been an A."
"But, but, but....I...I...worked soooo hard for that, aren't you proud?"
"Show us an A, then we will really be proud."

I don't think I needed to be "pushed", I was being "pushed". What I needed was to be motivated, to be validated.

FTR-a friend that I went to high school with made the occassional C, in her highschool career. She is now a neurosurgeon. Just sayin's all.....[/b]
See, something like THAT, I would be very proud of my DD for. There's nothing wrong with a B and a whole lot of effort.
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