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Dh/so question

Forum: Gifted and Talented Children


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September 24th, 2011, 07:54 AM
shari626's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,680
My venting post made me wonder something.

How much does your dh/so really pitch in and do household/kid related things. Does he cook? Does he clean? Does he take over to give you a break?

I will be honest - for the 11 years I was a sahm my dh did nothing. I did everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Laundry, errands, lawncare, kids, etc. That was our "arrangement" as the housewife.

When I went back to full time work last year that didn't change a whole lot. He just doesn't complain as much when things aren't done. He doesn't really volunteer to help ~ but knows enough to keep his mouth closed.

I feel like I created a monster by doing everything for him for the last 18 years or so and it's not going to be easy to get him to help. I swear he doesn't know how to use the washer or dishwasher. It's that bad.

So how helpful is your dh without being told?

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!!!

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September 24th, 2011, 08:06 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
If I'm home, it's my job. If he's home, it's his job (mostly). He always does the yard work, because he doesn't like the way I do it. I've had 5 surgeries since the kids were born, and each time, he's completely taken over and done everything for me. He's not a chef, but he knows how to use the microwave and dishwasher. He's not completely helpless.
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September 24th, 2011, 09:50 AM
AmAnDaMo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,671
I'm probably strange, but I *cannot stand* when anyone tries to help me with housework. I have a particular way of doing it, and it absolutely freaks me out if it's not done that way. So to answer your question, I don't *let* dh help. LOL

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September 24th, 2011, 10:26 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 2,615
Mine sounds just like yours, Shari. He knows better than to complain if it isn't done and will do something if I specifically ask him to (with detailed instructions) but will not take any initiative to do it himself. I actually finally caved and hired a cleaning lady (she starts Wednesday, I can't wait!) and I don't know how I will afford it but I can't stand the house the way it is and nobody does anything but me. I'm working two jobs and I do ALL the childcare (DH has changed exactly ONE diaper since DS has been born, and he put it on backwards ) and groceries and housework etc.
It's like he expects things to just keep rolling along as they were when I was at home and we only had one kid.

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September 25th, 2011, 07:05 AM
Butter's Avatar Heather the Mama Duk
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio TX
Posts: 28,853
Jamie does some stuff. The kids and I are home all day so we do most of it.

~Heather, wife to Jamie (15 years; June 5, 1998) and mom to
Ani - 14 (February 15, 2000), Cameron - 12 (October 3, 2001),
Fritz - 7 (July 11, 2006), and Adrian - 5 (June 19, 2008)
Smaller on the Outside

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September 25th, 2011, 11:39 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
Dh & I split things. He's a chef so he does 90% of the cooking - the kitchen is his so he also does the dishes. I do laundry, pay the bills, do most of the house cleaning. He does most of the yard work. I do most of the stuff with the kids though.

We both work full-time so we need to split things or they wouldn't get done.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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September 27th, 2011, 03:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,897
Like AmAnDaMo I dont let him do any of the cleaning(not like he would anyways) because I don't like how he does it. When my inlaws lived here I was going nuts because I HATED how they "cleaned". In regards to the kids 99% is my job. He changed a few diapers with our first,none with our second and finally started to help when my third was born. When my third was born,he had 5 weeks of time off from work so he cooked.Since then, he cooks weekends and any days he has off. He is an EXCELLENT cook. Anything that I do need him to do, takes him at least weeks to do. And if I remind him or ask him more then once,he says I bug I painted the whole kitchen and downstairs bathroom plus everything but the edges in my daughters room all while pregnant.
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