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Why did it take me 11 years to make the best choice for him! Grr!

Forum: Gifted and Talented Children


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March 14th, 2012, 10:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 711
Hello, my name is Kate and I am new here but not to just mommies..

I would like to tell you the story of my son Andy and from there what the heck do I do now comes to mind..

I had him when I was 18. He walked not real early for what I thought (10 months ish) What I guess I never got was my mother screaming at me because when I talked to him I talked to him like I would my friend and not a baby.. I don't know if it has anything to do with it but maybe. His first major thing for me was the fact that I could not keep him in a room. If you put up a barrier he would figure a way out, and not by trial and error. You could actually set something up sit back and watch him sit there for a while and then get up and build a way around it. I thought it was cute. I read to him every night, he started reading at 2.. His speech was not advanced, he talked like every other baby I saw. So when I signed him up for the kindergarden round up and he was put in with no problem I wasn't surprised. What I was surprised with was the system I was met with.

Kindergarden - I got calls constantly to come get him because he will not sit with the group and do the group activities. "What are you doing?" "Learning the letter "O"" "He can read already" "I don't think this is the issue, he is just not listening come get him"

1st grade - New school I got calls almost daily and had to go get him from school twice a week at the least, teacher pissed off at me telling me "I am afraid of what your child is going to grow up to be" HE NEEDS MEDICATION "he just wont sit still!"

2nd grade - I was met with a little more reasoning, they let me get him tested with the school to see where he placed only if I got him tested in exchange for ADHD. (mind you my first and only kid I figured okay) They test him and he is reading at a 9th grade level and math at a 7th grade level. I get him tested with a psychologist they say he has ADHD which wipes everything else out.. they just hyperfocused on the ADHD and did nothing for the advanced skills.

3th 4th 5th grade - Nothing but a battle of wills between Andy the teacher and I.. oh but now I get "You can tell he is so smart, it just makes it heart breaking to see him fail so much" GLAD I had him tested with the school.. other wise I would have been stuck at "he is a failure"

As of last week I pulled him out of school.. He has been on medication but when it worked if was short lived and most of it was just a bunch of side effects no one wants but the school.. Right before I took him out I had taken him off his meds all together, they were causing emotional mood swings and rage outbursts in the classroom.. As soon as I told the school no more medicine they were concerned about when I was going to talk to his doctor and get him back on something.. so yeah, these stanleys have enough balls to demand my son continue to be the hulk instead of the sweet funny intelligent guy he has always been..

After years of fighting and demanding that he just behave I feel a calm.. I do have some lingering school adjustments that need to leave him but as for right now he is happy. I didn't have this opportunity before, I became a stay at home mom a little over a year ago when I just had my second child and I think that little guy is my first little guy's savior.. if it wasn't for him I would be still trying to battle the school to see the light.

I don't know what I am doing, I am scared and feel completely alone as far as jumping headfirst into the world of homeschooling but the last couple days that I have spent with Andy teaching him Algebra I, I can't help but sit back and see that little boy who used to build his way out of a room.
The school system in this country fails those that need it the most, and I am done fighting it!
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March 15th, 2012, 08:21 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Welcome!!!!! *huge hug* You're safe here. You can breathe. Here, we understand that there are great schools and terrible schools, great teachers and terrible teachers, states with gifted services out the wazoo, and states with nothing. We have kids in all situations, including homeschooling. (You should hop over to the homeschooling board, too, by the way. ) Vent all you want, and ask all the questions you want. We don't mind.

I'm Chrystal, BTW. I'm fortunate enough to have been able to homeschool right from the start. I have two boys - my 6 y/o has been HS'ing for 3 years. His subjects range from 2nd (math) to 7th (spelling) to adult (reading). He taught himself to read at 2. He has Asperger's and motor delays, and has been in therapy since birth. We were told he's so advanced in some areas because he's so behind in others. Totally NOT true! I also have a 3 y/o who's doing K-1st, and unlike my Aspie, is extreeeeemely creative. Giftedness runs in both sides of our family, so it didn't surprise us to have gifted kids. What we didn't expect is just HOW gifted they'd be. (We had private testing done.) A few years ago, we talked to the school about modifications or services available, and were turned down flat. All 6 year olds are sentenced regular kindergarten, and there's no chance for parole (gifted pull-out program, not gifted classes) until they're at least 8. We knew we'd be homeschooling!
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March 15th, 2012, 12:39 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 711
I think we would be a lot further if he had the chance.. It bothers me but I am happy to see him now liking to learn again.. oh who am I kidding, loves to learn.. lol He is excited about Algebra and there is a 14 year old in the house ( my boyfriend and his daughter, not his father) who HATES even reading directions.. she is a social butterfly who could care less about school and is always questioning why they have to learn this crude.. but she gets all a's and b's because she always does her homework and it helps the test scores that are lacking.. It is just amazing how different they are.. She just really hates learning and it makes Andy even more of an alien to others.. I am not going to say I am gifted, I have a great memory and all but I am nothing special so I am not sure where it came from.. I do love to learn as well but I just go about my own and research things when I want to know stuff.. Much like Andy always has. His father never showed signs of being gifted either.. he was a good artist but that was all.. So I am not sure where to assign credit (or blame haha!)

It is the start of a journey none the less and I may as well enjoy it now!
The school system in this country fails those that need it the most, and I am done fighting it!
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April 8th, 2012, 03:04 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 2,611
Sorry to hear the horror story of his early years in school. Welcome and best of luck with the homeschooling. I am really glad that you've been able to seize this opportunity for him!

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