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I just don't know what to do anymore

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November 22nd, 2005, 01:40 PM
amy67's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 16
Hi ladies, I am a part of the July 2005 playroom, but I thought I'd come see you all, and see if you have any advice.

Here's the story...
My husband and I have been together for about 4 years. We have two wonderful little boys. He is a great father, and I would never question his love and devotion to our children. When we met we were both in High School, and were both a bit rebelious. When I got pregnant my senior year of high school my life chaged drastically. I stopped drinking, smoking, and doing all drugs. He, however, didn't change much. He stopped hanging out with some of his friends, and he didn't drink much anymore. But he continued smoking pot. I told him that he had to quit by the time my first son was born, and he promised he would. When my second child came he was still smoking it occasionally. It's not all the time or anything, just socially with friends. Well a couple of months ago I couldn't take it anymore so I made him move out. He started going to narcotics annonymous classes, and seeing a counselor. Finally when I thought he was really changed I let him come home. Now the pot is not the problem. He hasn't smoked it in at least 2 months. I am so proud of him for that, but here's our problem.
SInce he's come home all we've done is fight. I don't know if he resents me for making him stop, or what. I just can't deal with it anymore. We are constantly screaming at eachother. Everything that goes wrong with him is my fault. Last night he told me he wouldn't be coming home from work today. I don't know if he will or not, I pray that he does. I am just at my wit's end with this. I cannot stand fighting i front of my children. I love him to death and this is killing me. Do you think it's time to just call it quits and move on, or what? I am so desperate for help right now.

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November 22nd, 2005, 02:29 PM
Posts: n/a

I'm so sorry Amy... totally sucks to go through it. I can hear how much you love him through your words. I hope you two can work this out... is he open about his own feelings? Is he wanting to work on the relationship? Have you two tried couples counselling? Books? If you two break-up, which I hope isn't going to happen, would you both consider couple counselling for the kids - so you both can be "friends" enough to parent?

You're so brave for standing by him through his addiction. I hope it can work out for the best.
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November 23rd, 2005, 09:45 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873

I am so proud of you for standing up and making sure that DH got the help that he needed. I agree with mrobinson, I think you guys need some counseling together to get to the bottom of whatever is going on. Hopefully he came home and you guys were able to talk, and even if he did, I would still recommend that you both seek some help so you can work through whatever it is that is going on.
Hang in there!!
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