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I Dont think he loves me!!

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November 22nd, 2005, 03:27 PM
Jasonsmommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 123
Let me give you a little background before I start.
My boyfriend and I have a son who is now 6 months. My boyfriend was married before about 7 years ago and she cheated on him and I think that really hurt him even though he doesnt tell me that. I have known my boyfriend three months before I got pregnant so really we have been together about 1 1/2 years. which really is not very long. SO I know we really didnt get to know eachother.


I dont feel like he loves me. He never and has never showed me any real affection since our son was born. When I tell him how he feels he tells me Im over reaction and I should grow up. His comments like that really hurts my feelings because I feel like he doesnt love me enough to show me any affection or even let me know how he feels about me.

We now have our lives in track and are planning our future together as a family which is great but now he wants to move to Vermont from CAlifornia to move closer to his family which is great and everything but I dont want to move feeling that he doesnt love me and then we break up and Im stuck there. I cant move away from Vermont and take our son that would be just mean. I would be stuck there with no family and shared custody of our son.

Am I over reacting or can men continue lives with women they done love? I feel like he feels he has to be with me and hes just doing what he has to do for our family. He dosnt believe in romance, or affection, or happliy ever after. HE believes that now we have a son and now we have to have a family and so on.
It bothers me that he feels this way I actually hate it. I cant bear the thought of leaving because I love him so much But I dont want to be with someone who doesnt love or want me.!!!!!

What do I do???
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November 22nd, 2005, 04:04 PM
Posts: n/a
Oh sweetie - I'm so sorry to hear this...

I'm going to PM you...

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November 22nd, 2005, 04:58 PM
M!che!!e's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NYC born and raised. Now stationed in Savannah, Ga HAAF!
Posts: 12,264
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i want to say im sorry you are going through this. i think you have all right to question your boyfriend's lack of affection. i dont think men can live with woman they dont love, but i kno many do it anyways. i say try counciling. if he wont do it then i think you need to assess what is important. i kno you love him and it's hard but you deserved to be loved by someone! and that includes the hugs, kisses and caresses no matter what.

i wish you best of luck in this situation and if you want pm me!

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November 22nd, 2005, 05:03 PM
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I forgot these awesome suggestions as a guide:
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November 23rd, 2005, 07:38 AM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 444
I'm sorry your BF is reacting to you in this way. I also agree that you should be able to ask him anything you want about the relationship. It's unfair for him to make you feel wrong for wanting to know how much he loves you. I know that my DH and I have been together for 11 years now and our first child was conceived only 7 mos after we met and we weren't exactly involved yet at that point, so it was rough the first few years. We kind of grew with one another. I really hope things work out for you.
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November 23rd, 2005, 12:29 PM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
Posts: 189
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Hi, Ive never posted on this board, but your situation sounds similar to mine.

I met my dh shortly after his ex gf cheated on him. We were then pg after only a few months. Its hard, I will tell you that, and it still is. I really suggest counciling for the both of you to do together. It took time, b/c my dh is like yours, not all mushy about love. (Mine wont buy flowers b/c they die) But he did come around and we talked and I told him what I needed from him if we were to make us work. (This actually all happened right after Peyton, my 2nd son was born)

Good luck, and dont forget about yourself. You need to be loved to.
wife and mom to patrick(s) and peyton.
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