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My MIL and my children

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January 26th, 2006, 12:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Carolina Girls... Are the best in the world!
Posts: 637
My MIL is the most self centered, self serving woman I have ever met. She could care less about my children or us for that matter. She caused some problems between DH and I about 6 mo. ago.

We had to borrow some money and she went and told everyone about it. Now, we had asked her not to say anything to anyone. We just don't want our business aired. (funny I am posting this on the internet, huh?) Well, anyway... she runs and tells my SILs that... "there is something going on. She doesn't know what." Then she raised you know what to have it back on this certain day. Now, we had agreed pay day. You can't get blood from a turnip, right? They she decided she wanted it back two days before payday! Um, hello... I told her there was no, way. We didn't have it... thats why we had to borrow it. duh? So, she goes to my SILs again and tells them we wouldn't give her money back. Well, on payday... I hand delivered her money to her. Like we agreed in the first place.

By this time... Emily was sick and I had been at the ER all night w/ her. She gave me some lame story that she was going on this trip w/ a friend... and all the money she had to take was this $200.00. She spends, spends, spends, they just bought a new house and they are totally remodeling it. A brand new truck they don't even drive. They go on extended vacations all the time. So, don't hand me this... crap.

Any way, Emily ended up in the hospital for 3 days. She had a bad virus and could not kick it. Guess how many times she called to check on her... 1 time!!! And came to see her... 0!!!

She NEVER baby sits for us, never has... but, she keeps my SIL's kids everyday!!! She picks them up from school every day. She also keeps my other SIL's kids all the time...

We ask her, and she has to go look at paint samples. Well, after the money thing in the summer. I let 10 years of hostility loose on her. At that point she had been like a month w/ out seeing or talking to the kids. I told her then, that she has always played favorites and that she has never helped us w/ out making us feel like we have put her out....

She went 4 mo. w/ out seeing the kids. Well one day she showed up at the day care to pick up my SIL's daughter. She wen to walk out the front door w/ Emily. Emily was screaming. The daycare director told her to let go of her or she was calling me. She said, "It's Julie's fault that they don't know me. She keeps them away from me. " The lady to her... "Don't you know where they live, you go see them."

Then she went for Hannah, my neice is in her room. She picked her up and Hannah started screaming. I called my MIL and told her that is was just wrong to go up to the daycare and tell them that stuff, then to upset my children. I was SOOOO.... mad!!! I told DH to handle it.

Well about October, I decided to be nice. I was just before Halloween. Then I found out she gave all the g-kids a "goody bag" but, none for my kids. I let it roll.....

Christmas, no gifts for us or the kids. (She say she has a savings acct. for the kids. I have never seen proof of one or a receipt from a deposit. )But, she came over expecting a gift. I gave her a $1.00 frame w/ a picture of the kids. The look on her face was priceless. That was the last time I saw her.

Emily got sick... again... (she really is healthy! This is like a 6 mo. span.) She got pneumonia. Not, one time did she call and see how she was or anything. I did talk to her on Tues. for something, I mentioned that Emily had her repeat chest x-ray and said "oh, it came back good... just in case you were wondering." She got all snippy and said, "I heard she was better." I said, "ok, then"

Thanks for letting me vent... I feel better now...
<div align="center">Mommy to two beautiful princesses...

One of my babies I carried in my heart and one I carried under my heart...

Remember... behind every successful mother.. there is a basket of dirty laundry!!!</div>
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January 27th, 2006, 10:22 PM
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Wow I feel so incredibly bad for you! That's horrible that she treats her own grandkids that bad and the nerve of her to blame it on you! I just hope DH is on your side and understands how you feel. Someday when your children want nothing to do with her maybe she will see the errors of her ways!
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January 30th, 2006, 02:10 PM
Poetique's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 702
you replied to my thread already so just know that you are not alone with the evil IL situation....first off i'm glad that your daughter is okay....i know of 4 kids that had pnemonia this year!!...that seems like a lot to me....

i haven't even had my child yet but i'm sure that my bf's mother will favor her other grandchild and honestly i don't care if she does...as i said in my other thread, i don't even want that woman around my child....

do you and your dh fight about his mother?....i have never fought with my bf about it yet but i'm sure the "best is yet to come".....i'm really sorry that you have to deal with an evil woman, believe me i know how bad it is!!

oh yeah, the part you wrote about the dollar frame and the look on her face being priceless literally made me LOL....thanks haha

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January 30th, 2006, 05:23 PM
MommieinNC's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,119
Wow... I can just imagine what you have to put up with...

I was always the "less favored" child on my dads side, and it always showed. I never got presents from his parents, or even my own brothers and sisters... what I did get was cheap, and quite literally useless...

I remember one Christmas when I was 12... My presents consisted of socks, underwear, and notebook paper...

The other brothers, sisters, neieces, etc? They got segas, nintendos, gameboys, tvs, videos, gift certificates, etc....

I have grown up resenting my fathers side of the family for the way they treated me... I didn't need someone to tell me that I was different... Their actions showed that I was different.

Your MIL better straighten up quick, or one day possibly your children will be like me... and resentful for being treated like the leper, or the not so good one...
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February 5th, 2006, 12:50 AM
nirvanasmarigold's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny, CA
Posts: 6,172
I know how you gals feel my dh has only one older brother who is 7 years older. He is like the perfect child because he married his high school sweetheart, has the nice house, good job and money and three kids (all girls). They live about 60 miles away and she drives down there all the time to babysit or just go visit.

When we told her we found out the baby was a boy she said that she was disappointed because she wanted a girl. I was like who's frickin kid is this anyways! And how could you be disappointed at all regardless of what the sex is? I reminded her that he was the only one to carry on the family name and she was like oh.

We live about 5 miles away and since he's been born his parents have seen him max 4 times (he's a little over 2 months old). But I shouldn't be surprised I guess, they always treated my dh differently than the other son. It makes me soooo mad!! My family literally has not gone one day since he was born without seeing him. They also are my babysitters for when I'm at work.

My dh and I agree that I wouldn't have her watch our ds until he's much older because I would be afraid! Like we were over there the other day and he had just woke up and was hungry and they were like what are you going to do feed him every time he cries?! I can just imagine them watching him and letting him starve or something.

Good they bother me but I love my dear husband so much! I don't know how he turned out to be such a good husband and father.

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February 6th, 2006, 09:16 AM
Lisadear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Trinidad
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what you described of your MIL is a perfect accurate description of believe it or not MY OWN MOTHER!!!

Always brokes yet hopping on a plane every Monday morning to travel somewhere to 'shop', never babysits the kids at all (I pay a sitter and a driver for after school) yet she gladly watches ALL the other grandkids and picks them up from school ... when I am in a crunch and I ask her, she is always "I'm busy or I have something to do or I have to go out", and I could go on an on and on.

Now we live in the same house with her so therefore we get the full blast of the grunts and complaints ... none of the others get this and why? because they are just visitors? do we really have to live somewhere else in order to be appreciated???

kinda really pisses me off actually but hey! as long as I can pay the sitters and drivers and the kids have a lot less to do or put up with her hoggish behaviour, then it's worth it!

xxx Lisa xxx
xxx Lisa xxx<div align="center">

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February 7th, 2006, 11:14 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Carolina Girls... Are the best in the world!
Posts: 637
DH got sick the other day and had to be rushed to the ER. (He passed out) So, I had to call her and ask her if she would pick my kids up from daycare... she said, "You can't go get them?" I said, ''I am not leaving him at the hospital by his self, he can't drive home and they might keep him over night." She said, "I will get them, but you better come right home. (DH's job is in another county, 35 min. away)

My parents were somewhere shopping, they got home and I called them. They gladly went to my MIL's and picked them up for me. They even offered to stay over night.

DH is fine... don't know what happened.
<div align="center">Mommy to two beautiful princesses...

One of my babies I carried in my heart and one I carried under my heart...

Remember... behind every successful mother.. there is a basket of dirty laundry!!!</div>
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February 14th, 2006, 05:57 PM
dotti_85's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 431
Wow!! what an accurate discriptoon of my MIL!!!! why is it always the hubbys father and very rarely our own mothers who feel they have to act like this???
My MIL has always hated me with a passion spending a good lot of the first year of mine and hubbys relationship trying to split us up!!!
3 years down the track i fell pregnant and suddenly the ###### woman thinks she can just go waltsing in turning our lives up side down!!!
We had moved 7 hours away from my loving family and her just to get away from her, and guess what!
yep she followed us!!! ahhhhh!!!! in fact his other sister did too (really dont like her)
Anyway when i when into labour i told dh not to tell MIL untill i was like about to deliver, i did not want her there i had seen her with dh sister when she had her son and i did not want het telling me what to do!!
Well evil sister in law who lived over the road somehow saw us leaving (at 5am!!) and within a hour MIL (who lived in another town 40 min away) appeared !!!!! OMG i wanted to scream
She thought she was the ###### doctor or something trying to "coach" me through my labour! thank god my own moher tunrned up and set some rules!!! she then spent the rest of my labour peering through my legs, scaring the life out of my best friend who was 6 month pregnant making her watch the birth, even though she did not want to then took off within minuites of Giselle being born. Now my daughter was not alive when she came out from having the cord wrapped around her neck, you would think she would hang around to see if she was gonna be ok coz her own grand daughter was nearly pronounced still born!! (they did get her back of cause) but no she was gone!!!
Anyway to cut a long story short she showed up nearly everyday after dd was born for like a month!!!
ahhhh help. After that we never saw her unless we whent to her place or to her work.
Giselle does not even recagnise her!!
She will babysit SIL child at the drop of a hat and spoils him rotten, yet my dd gets nothing!!!
We have since moved back to our home town with my family and are much happier
Needless to say MIL has not contacted dh or my self since we moved, not even for xmas day!!
Oh sorry once she did to accuse dh of spreading some kind of rumour around about his own sister!!!
My god i have no idea how dh turned out so sane! compared to the rest of his twisted family!!!

Sorry i didnt mean to be so long i didnt realise how bad i needed to get that off my chest!! should have put it in a thread huh???
I know exactly how you are feeling girl!!
dont let her get you down.
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February 15th, 2006, 01:33 PM
~Katie~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 15,110
My mil is like that as well, my dh had been married before and had a son and his x is always nowhere to be found, well when she wants something she comes out and my mil always favored his son and we have a daughter together and she did nothing for her. My dh has no idea where the x is now and we don't speak to my mil and we just found out she had his son every other weekend for the past year. But, never called us or asked us about our daughter or told us she had him. Well, it just added fuel to the fire and he has no intentions on talking to her ever. So, you are not alone. We are expecting now and she does not even know.
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March 22nd, 2006, 07:30 AM
Justmeandmyguys's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 116
I know this is pretty old but I had to reply. My soon to be MIL is the same way. I had my son and had to go back to beauty school and she said she would babysit since she does not work........we had to pay her! She watches my sil kids for FREE! So we let her watch him and paid her because we had no other choice. Well, then she decides she doesn't want to watch him anymore! So I was left looking for a sitter or daycare! He is now in daycare and taken care of much better!
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March 22nd, 2006, 08:29 AM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: KY
Posts: 6,027
I feel horrible for you and all the other ladys with monster in laws.
I think id yell at her and then smack the #### oura her..

Makes me even more thankful for my soon to be MIL she is the exact opposite..

Good luck girls.. i hope things get better

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March 22nd, 2006, 01:08 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think in every family you have that.

My in-laws try not to play favorites, God help them, but it seems my kids get the lower end of things. My FIL will watch my BIL's kids at the drop of a hat. We have to schedule weeks in advance for him to watch any of our kids for any reason. My MIL does buy all the kids Xmas presents but my daughter who is 10 notices now the difference in quality of the gifts.

We have borrowed money from her in the past (A LOT of money) but have them mostly paid back. But she has no problem telling my BIL about it and he makes snippy little comments to us. OK we cannot all be like the wonderful oldest son, having a cushy state job making about $80,000 a year & his wife is a PTA so she brings in a decent salary also. My DH went over there last month to give his mom some money. His brother was there so my DH waited to do that in private. His brother gave my MIL some money for stamps or something & looked at my DH & said "it's your turn now."

Here is something REALLY shady:
My BIL's son is 11 months older than our son. When DH's SIL was pregnant with their son, my FIL wanted them to name him Cody, after some Western thing....I don't follow that stuff. We prayed they wouldn't b/c we had the name Cody picked out when we started TTC. They named him Zachary. We were relieved, then soon after found out we were expecting, then a while later found out we were having a boy. We announced the name. About 2 months before we were due with CJ, they got a dog & named him....you guessed it...Cody. We were livid! But we didn't say too much, except my MIL thought it was distasteful. At that Xmas, our Cody was a little over a month old. First of all, my DH's oldest nephew made a big deal about our son's name b/c it is also the dog's name so BIL said for him to just call our son "Jacob" b/c that is his middle name. We told him NO, he was to call him Cody. Well, DH had to the 24 hour pharmacy b/c CJ was sick with a cold & the pediatrician had called in a script for him. While he was gone, my BIL & SIL said "we need to let Cody out of his cage...blah blah blah." When you hear your child's name, you automatically snap your head. My BIL said to me "sorry but the dog was here first and we named him Cody. Sorry about your luck with the names." I told him that my son's name was legal, that stupid dog's name could be changed. I told DH about it later & he said his brother only did that b/c he knew my DH was gone so he decided to take a cheap shot at me. Well all in all, my Cody is still here & they had to get rid of the dog b/c they ALWAYS left it outside, no matter what type of weather and it would bark ALL NIGHT LONG. They live in a subdivision & all the neighbors complained.

Now for my family, my grandmother made it clear growing up we were not her favorites. She NEVER asked my parents to see us, except for Xmas but had my cousins over all the time. Guess it had something to do with something stupid my mom said to her when I was first born. Now it seems I am one of her favorites. Now that my grandfather is gone, some of my cousins are up my grandma's butt. She has no room to breathe now. She told me she appreciates me just calling her every couple of weeks and stopping by on occasion. My one cousin is at her house EVERY day and letting her son tear up grandma's house.

My grandma one year got us so little for Xmas that I guess she went out & bought more for my sisters & me, then said the other gifts were "buried" under the tree. Now grandma gives cash. And all the children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren get the same amounts as everyone else in that group. And their spouses.

So you are not alone. I think everyone has some sort of horror story about either their own family or DH's. And this is the place to get it out! Vent away!
Thank you KimberlyD0 for my absolutely beautiful siggy!

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