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January 28th, 2006, 09:32 PM
teacherinlove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,388
I was having a great day. Isaiah had taken two naps and I was able to get a lot of my homework finished. Well, my friend calls first off, he starts arguing with me about stupid ##### and I told him, "I thought you said i argued to much and wanted me to stop, its really hard to work on this when you argue with me." he replies with, "Oh you love to argue, its your life." Im like fine, whatever. He is going on a date tonight and wanted advice, I was giving it to him and then we start talking about being mature and he says, "I dont know why Im talking to you about this, you are never mature, I have to be the mature one when Im around you or we would be snorting coke all the time." I will admit I have done some stupid ##### in my past and thats a long long story but for him to throw it in my face, it was really hurtful. Secondly, this was a little later, I called him back to see what he was wearing and what his final decisions were since he was pretty nervous, really wants to impress this girl well, I tell him just act like you do around me and you'll be fine. He says, "What pissed off all the time." and I say what and he says, "Im upset all the time when Im around you." to this I just say, "Why are you friends with me if you are always pissed off when you are around me?" and he says, "I dont know." this really hurt my feelings, I stopped myself from crying and told him goodnight and hung up the phone. I cried as soon as I got off the phone. I am really hurt. I have lost all of my friends since I have had Isaiah and this guy was a good if not best friend and for him to say this really hurts.

What is really weird is, when we first were talking he asked me why I was talking about him online. He had looked up my chat conversations and then went into great detail about all of it. He said, "whatever is between us is between us, not anyone else" My question is, how did he find my chat conversations? He must of been searching my screen name.

Another thing that really upset me is he told me he never had a crush on me and never will have a crush on me because I am fat. (it really doesn't matter if he did or not, not really the point) But to say this is just hurtful, I never thought friends said this type of stuff. I never tell a friend they are fat when it is a really sensitive subject. and for me it is, obviously, since I just had a baby. He says he is honest to all his friends even if it hurts.

Im just really upset right now and needed to vent this out. I know I am not perfect and am trying to fix my life right now but its not easy and for someone to come and just throw all your faults out there in a matter of 2 hours its really troubling. I think he knows this and is using it to his advantage. In my opinion, I think he is trying to keep me in a low point of my life so, if something in his life doesn't work out he can "count on me" to fix it or make him feel better at the expense of his life. I feel he is trying to keep me as a side option if he can never find someone romanticly then he will always have me. the only bad thing is, I dont think of him as this way and he knows it but honestly I dont think he does. everyone around me including parents past and present friends have said how much his ations show that he thinks of me romanticly. Im just confused.

Another thing, he thinks its normal for friends to kiss and hug, hold hands. I on the other hand dont think so. well, the holding hands thing, yes, I did this with some of my good girlfriends but that is it. He gives me a hard time about it but I think its unnatural for a guy and girl to be touchy feely in a romantic way if they are not romantic. right? its just really puzzling to me and seriously upsetting.

Either he needs to straighten up or I need to stop talking/seeing his as much and I know this will be hard since I feel we are both eachothers only really true friends right now but Im starting to reconsider since all the things he is saying. But perhaps he is a boy and boys and girls are different. I dont know. Ok this was just a long huge enormous vent.


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