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Dont know if I should stay or go

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July 25th, 2009, 04:05 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 13
I have been married to my husband for almost a year now(Aug 22,08) since we have been together I have been the main provider in our relationship.. He did work but not for long after we got married I have two boys that are not his.Since we been married we have been split apart from each other at least 3 times since we have been together... Not because we could not get along or cheating on each other, but because we got kicked out of our apartment that I paid all the bills and rent he did not once help me car rent, a car payment, lights or anything...then all my saving ran out and we got kicked out so now I'm back to living at home with my mom and my two kids(not by him) my car got repoed... So now he is living in a different city that is 45mins from me he is suppose to be looking for a job everyday so that we can get things back together and be like a real married couple.. I'm just tried of doing everything.. If I have to be the main one to do everything why are we even married... I feel that the man is suppose to take care of his wife and family and make sure they have what they need. Who knows how long it is going to take for him to get a job.. I had a job I was a waitress but because my car got repoed I had no way to get back and forth to work.. I dont know what to do I love him with all my heart and do want to stay married.. but as long as this keeps going on I cant put myself through this.. IT feels like we are not even married we have to always split up... Please help lady's
TTC baby#3
Jaelen 5yrs old
Taye 3yrs old

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July 27th, 2009, 01:41 AM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 13
Have you applied for housing assistance or any other help? Why can't your husband live at your moms house with you?

You said that he has not really worked since getting married, is it because he can not find a job or is it because he does not want to get a job? If it is he can not find one do not let it rip you apart, remember when you get married your vowels include for richer or poorer.

If it is because he is lazy then I think it is maybe time for you to move on, it is not right that you are the only one supporting the family, weather or not those kids are his when he married you he took on the role of step dad, if he can not treat your kids as if they are his own I would not even be with him
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July 27th, 2009, 05:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Baytown, TX
Posts: 2,462
Well I think the last thing you should be doing at this point is ttc #3. I recently left my husband due to him cheating. It's a hard road but he sounds like a drain on you more than anything else as it is. Good luck!
Brynne mom to Isabella Grace (4-18-09) and Juliet Lily (12-8-10)

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August 2nd, 2009, 08:34 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Um, I agree with holding off on TTC!! Why is he not living with you? What sort of effort is he putting forth to get a job??
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August 3rd, 2009, 08:57 PM
pictureunrelated's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 435
I have to agree with the others on waiting to ttc.... And this is a really hard situation but mainly one you have to answer for yourself ultimately. The only person who really knows if you should leave and what would be best for you.... is you.

Did you guys discuss your feelings that men should take care of their wives before you got married?

The lines of communication need to be opened and the sooner the better.

I wish I could give more advice but not knowing the man and if he has any emotional or mental or big life problems like death of someone, depression, etc, etc. I can't make a sound judgment on if hes just being lazy or what. But I do sincerely hope everything works out for you in the end.
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August 4th, 2009, 04:01 PM
Posts: n/a
I hope your dh is able to find a job. If thats the only problem in your relationship then I think you should stay with him a little longer and see what happens.

I would ask for assistance.. everything helps when your in hard times.

I do understand in away how you feel about your dh.. I to love my dh but at the same time it does drain you and bring you down when issues arent fixed.

I hope yous get back on track soon.
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