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February 11th, 2010, 11:49 AM
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murphy NC
Posts: 12
Ok this is going to be long but I haven't vented in a long time and I have so much build up that I can't take it anymore. I haven't had anyone to really talk to bout 2 years ago in 08 I had a little girl and I was so deppresed cause the man I thought I was going to spend my life with just up and left me hanging. My parents witch growing up wasn't much of a parent figure actully came and got my from Verginia and we live in North Carolina. Anyway after I had her I was pretty much abandoned and dropped of somewhere luckly a place called Reach took me in and I stayed there for a little while but I was told that it was getting time to find a place and even though I had barly found a job. Between trying to find someone I could trust to babysit, and finding a way back and forth to work I had nothing and I had people that should have been there for me telling maybe I should go with adoption. I hated the idea so bad I would cry all the time I loved her so much I would just hold her and she was the only thing that made me happy. Well I lost my job and my mom finally let me stay with them but then all of a sudden she was telling people I was hittin my daughter witch I would never do and there wasn't a bruse anywhere on her body and that done it I was so deep into depression my sister told him they would take her and that I could still be called mommy and see her and everything so i agreed it all happened so fast i felt like they litteraly pulled her from my arms soon after that i moved in with a friend cause i was pretty much homeless after that and one thing led to another we started being together as a couple he helped me out through not being able to see my daughter and all the lies my mother was telling on me neither one of us had a job but somehow for the next 6 months we managed to get through but we started fighting and the glow we had was gone we would fight over everything little or big he wouldnt pay attention to me he wasnt being intament or nothing i felt all alone again we came close to leaving each other several times and the things he would say to me would just stab through to my heart and it got so bad he was putting his hands on me then i found out that i was pregnant it was a shock considering it would be like 2months before we would even do anything still the fighting continued to get worse finally i just had to leave him and try to figure out my next move by this time i had found a job even though it wasnt the best job i was lucky to have one now were back together coming upon our delivery and our 2 years actully together things are a little better but im the only one who works so i take care of both of us and we recently moved into his moms witch is stressful on me we never do anything anymore ive tried talking but it dont work our intamency is gone and nothing ive tried to do to bring it back works it kinda hurts my feelings to think of the things he could be doing when im not hear or when im asleep. Wow this is long but I couldn't keep things in anymore I hope someone can help me or give me some advice or something I would greatly adpreciate it.
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March 9th, 2010, 11:26 PM
*~ Joni ~*'s Avatar Jordana Jacoby & Jamason
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: PA and AZ
Posts: 8,673
It sounds like you're doing everything you can do. I don't have any advice but wanted to give you
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April 24th, 2010, 05:37 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,329
Just wanted to give you some positive vibes. It does sound like you're doing all you can. Lots of luck to you.
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April 26th, 2010, 12:03 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
(((HUGS))) If you not happy and he is hurting you, get out of there!!! Try getting a hold of a local women's shelter or domestic violence shelter and go there. Save every penny that you can from your pay check. What are your plans for this baby? When are you due? Have you been getting prenatal care? Apply for state benefits and WIC to help you until you get back onto your feet.
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