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So Mad...Can't sleep

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April 15th, 2010, 12:07 AM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
Can anyone help me get over my anger or explain why I shouldn't be mad...Please!

I have an adorable 18 mo old lil boy named Ronan and my husband and I searched high and low for a name we both agreed to --actually loved -- and our lil guy has become his name.

So, I immediately became angry when we rec'd the news yesterday that my husbands cousin just named her son the same name!

His family are serial repeaters... there are numerous examples of babies being named the same name but it usually spans a generation...like aunt and niece, unlce and nephew, grandfather and grandson, etc.

I guess my anger stems from several things...
I prefer to not be a copy cat and I chose my children's names based on their lack of popularity based on where we live and within both of our family structures. I feel like now I am forced to be part of serial repeat that I tried so hard not to be. Plus, it is not like she and i chose a Tom or Mike....it is not that mainstream (yet!)

I can also CLEARLY remember this cousin commenting on the lack of originality within my husband's family...immediate and extended. And now she has not only proven to be hypocritical but inconsiderate and "breaking all the rules" in baby naming.

I am currently grieving the loss of my third child (second daughter) in the second trimester-- unexplainable miscarriage -- and feel like I am now, in a way, grieving a loss all over again...strange as that may sound. I guess it would have been different to me if there were 10 years between them but there is only 18 months and they are right next to each other in the family tree of great grandchildren!

I am resenting the fact that I am seriously considering changing my son's name.

I am resenting the fact that I am losing seep over this!

Help talk me out of this spiral of anger, please!
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April 15th, 2010, 10:00 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
If I were you I'd tell her that you are upset. tell her that you chose that name because you didn't want the same name 12 times in the family.
Me: B 28
DF: S 29

DSD:S 12
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

Getting Married 6/11/16!!!

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April 15th, 2010, 07:27 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Wow, how inconsiderate!!! You have every right to be upset. I would never even think about doing that to someone, or at least not before asking first. I would also tell her how you feel and about how she was not going to be like everyone else on the whole name thing. (((HUGS)))
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April 15th, 2010, 08:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
I would be livid.

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April 17th, 2010, 04:13 AM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 373
I am surprised how often this happens. I have known a couple of people who even told their chosen name and then someone else had a baby first and took the name! Sorry this happened to you. Does your child have another name you could use? How difficult would it be to change? And will you be in contact with this other person often? If you never see them, then fine. Or even, comment often both have the name but of course mine was first, the one who gave the name... I picked unusual names and have heard a few comments but mine is mine and no one else has gone there!
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April 17th, 2010, 11:28 PM
ashleighgurl's Avatar Loving Wife and Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Arizona - formally, Michigan
Posts: 12,794
DH and I were considering a couple different girls names, and they were actually top on the list, but then we found out that his cousin had already named her two girls those names. So, we decided against it. Even though Kyleigh is common, no one in our family has the name that we know of. I would be really upset, and would explain to her how you feel.
Kyleigh - 7 years old
Our beautiful miracle baby..
Welcomed after 2 years of TTC.
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June 12th, 2010, 05:48 AM
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 99
I think it was terrible that they did this, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it. If you feel comfortable talking to her about it then do so, if not (and you may not want to hear this) you'll need to let it go. I say this becuase I know how it feels to feel very angry inside and it's only hurting you. Know that your little Ronan is one of a kind regardless of who else has his name. He's yours and you're a fabulous mommy. Besides now your cousin will have to go to every family reunion telling everyone she named her baby the same as yours. She will look unoriginal.
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