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In need of very childish advice...

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May 21st, 2010, 07:16 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
So we al have MIL, some of us get along and some do not. Well mine has issues. She is passive aggressive, has a personality disorder. Which makes her absolutely impossible to think before she speaks.

I am a weak person who loves ZERO drama, stress, confrintaion. I just don't like getting worked up and feeling anxious.

Our not so good relaionship has been going on for a long time. When I got preganant with my first, I spent a lot of time with her. We got along great, then all of a sudden she started putting words in my mouth, twisting what I said, throwing nasty digs in. You would never know it because I am so quiet but I am very sensitive to how ppl treat one another. So I started putting distance between us. Well it got to the point with her I had, had enough and was like whatever a bit and may have hurt her feelings back. She would call and say she was going to come the next day and I would say ok, and be ready for her, she would never come, and never call to say she wasn't coming. She was always late, so being late was something I had done back in return. Nothing I am proud of but not serious things, I just basically acted like her to her.

Well I had lost my second pregancy she said some very hurtful things, if you go to pregancy loss october 2005, you can see a post I made about it. So of course I hate her now at this time. But this whole time I am polite and still talk with her I had just put a huge space/distance between us.

One evening we are sitting and talking and she says, "I apologize if I ever said or did anything." So I feel a bit of peace inside, and I apologize to her. I am willing to start clean. Well later on she starts all over again. And I just figured whatever I will put space between us and that is that. I will no longer share anything remotely important with her It will just be a Hi how is the weather kind of relationship.

I do not call, I do not provoke anything and I try and keep my business and private as possible. I have a FB page and she is now on there. She wants to add me as a friend. I do not want her as a friend, but I can't just say no, all hell will break loose. So I thought I will just deactivate my page, and then there goes all the reconnections I made with people all gone. I really really do not want her to know my business. She has no privalge to it. As far as Dh and the kids go. They get visits, pictures, tales, I don't want her in any part of my life outside of that. I don't want her to be friends with my siblings, or my mother on FB.
I don't want FB conversations with her. I just wish I could fine a place were I don't have at least one difficult person. I wish I didn't always have to miss out on things to keep peace in my life.

Last edited by Prudence; May 21st, 2010 at 07:22 AM.
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May 21st, 2010, 02:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,338
I'm pretty sure you can restrict what she is able to see by adding her on your friends list to her own group and only allowing that group to see certain things on FB. I too have a MIL that sounds very similar to yours and I seriously limited her access to my page---though it's not like she would know any different so there's no drama. If that doesn't work just ignore the friend request, as in don't do anything with it and perhaps she'll leave it be?

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May 22nd, 2010, 10:47 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
Thanks all have to go through everything and try it out.
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May 25th, 2010, 07:04 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
You can totally limit her all access to your FB account if you choose to add her. You can totally ignore her until then, but you need to make sure that your privacy is turn up to where no one can see anything you post, pics, or whatever unless they are friends with you. You could ignore the request and say you never got it until you figured out the whole privacy thing. She sounds a lot like my MIL, she has no access to me or the kids due to her behavior. She has made no attempt to apologize or change, so all is fine by me to not have to deal with her LOL. Good Luck!!
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May 26th, 2010, 07:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
My MIL is friends with both DH and I on FB (figured it was better to be able to see what she was posting instead of wondering what she was saying to people). I agree that you can limit her access. I never put anything on FB that she wouldn't hear about from her conversations with DH.

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