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Rant about bf's family

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May 3rd, 2006, 08:58 PM
Poetique's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 702
I don't even really know where to start and I don't want to make it a really long story. To put it bluntly I can't stand my bf's family. I really don't even want my future child to spend time alone with them. I avoid spending time with them at all costs but my bf still doesn't know how bad it bothers me to even be around them. I think it actually makes my blood pressure go up. I drop hints a lot but I don't think he really knows how bad I can't stand them. His mother is a very selfish self-centered woman who acts like a teenager. She is obsessed with her boyfriend and puts her boyfriend before her own family. They are both pretty much alcoholics. My bf doesn't agree with me but to me someone that drinks everyday and even drinks when they are alone is pretty much an alcoholic. She is also a big gambler. Around Christmas time last year my bf and I were sort of struggling with money. Well his mother came over to visit us and had to brag and actually SHOW us an instant lottery ticket that she won 5k on! I'm sure she put the money towards drinking and more gambling, meanwhile we were struggling so bad. I'm not saying that I want handouts or anything but she could have at least offered to help us out and we would have been happy to pay her back. She is also just very rude and abnoxious. She told me that if her mother were alive she would "shoot me in the head" because I don't really want to get married. She also has made a comment about my child being a ######! WHAT THE HELL???!!??? She really has no class whatsoever and her bf is even worse. He made a comment that he had to "get to the baby" first before MY parents got to the baby because he basically implied that my parents will make it a "goody good". Well I would rather have a "goody good" child than an obnoxious kid with no manners. My bf's father is also an #####. It's not even his real father but he married his mother when she was still pregnant with him. I really don't know how they ended up together because they are total opposites. He is not loud a loud and obnoxious alcoholic but he is not a people person and he treats my bf like crap and my bf can't see it. He (my bf) always goes running to him and it's actually quite sad. Now this man makes very very good money and he gives his grandaughter (my bf's sisters daughter) his change but actually picks the quarters and dimes out of his change (so basically he gives her pennies and nickels) It is un-freakin real!
I have so many stories about them that i won't go on about but I just really cannot stand these people and I don't really know how to tell my bf without it turning into a big fight. I also don't want to hurt my bf and I know that is what it will end up doing.

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May 3rd, 2006, 10:24 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 725
Oh my goodness! I'm sorry that you are going through this, especially because you are pregnant. You BF's family don't sound like they are going to be a good influence on your little one. I hope you get through this, and I wish you the best!

Celebrating our Third Anniversary![br]
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May 4th, 2006, 06:25 AM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 1,962
i feel your pain! it's my goal to keep my future IL's away from my baby cause they are horrible, evil people with crap morals, and I don't want them to influence my baby at all.

DF's mom actually called him yesterday to yell at him because she had to hear from DF's ex that the baby is probably a girl - note that she told him she wanted absolutely nothing to do with this baby and that she's an evil, evil woman.
Olivia Grace ~ October 26, 2006 ~ 6:04a.m.

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May 4th, 2006, 07:46 AM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
BTDT!! It was not pleasant either. DH's family is horrible and treat everyone horrible! My DS is 2 and has seen those people 2 times in his life and that was only for a short little period. I will not allow the kids over there with them at all. It is not an environment that children need to be in. Yes it caused fights between DH and I, we even separated for a while due to it, but then during the separation, he realized while he was with them and seen exactly what I was talking about and then he stopped talking to them for almost a year once he realized what they cost him and when the kept calling him and telling him that he was stupid and whatever else, well, he changed our phone number then too. He used to run to them constantly, when they called about anything, no matter what we had going on or what we needed, he went running to them. I had to put a stop to it before I just completely lost it.
It is not going to be easy to do, but you have to take a stand for yourself and your child. That baby does not need to be in that environment. You have to take a stand with you BF and his family. Do not let your child alone with those people especially if they are drunks!

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May 4th, 2006, 12:27 PM
Poetique's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 702
^^^YES, my bf is the same way, he always runs to them no matter what we have planned or whatever. His grandmother calls him for the dumbest stuff like to change lightbulbs and take out garbage. Now I have NO problem helping out elderly folks but this woman is constantly running around going here and there and driving and she is quite capable of doing the things she asks my bf to do for her. I don't even go along with him anymore because she even puts me to work too when I go to her house to visit! I just don't know how to handle this without totally hurting my bf's feelings. Like I said though, it honestly makes my blood pressure go up when I'm around them! I can feel it.

Thanks so much for the replies though ladies!

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May 5th, 2006, 04:55 PM
lapoema's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,190
I feel for you. Just stay away from them as much as possible! That's all I can say. Ugh.

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May 5th, 2006, 09:12 PM
appifanie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 1,962
Like I said though, it honestly makes my blood pressure go up when I'm around them! I can feel it.[/b]
when he TALKS to them mine goes up. they are so horrid. and they're the "oh we didn't say that" sort.
Olivia Grace ~ October 26, 2006 ~ 6:04a.m.

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May 11th, 2006, 05:42 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,597
I refuse to see my DH's father and step mom anymore. I put up with them for awhile, but they are just not the kinds of people that my children need to be around. They do drink too much too in my book, plus they are self-centered. I also hate that the woman treats me like crap, since she thinks that she is better than me. She told me that I was a horrible mother, cuz I wouldn't let them babysit my DD. I am my child's mother and if I want to have her with me all the time then I will. When I got pg she actually through a fit and told me that I had to either get an abortion or give my kid away, cuz she wasn't ready to be a grandma, and I told her not to worry cuz she would never be my children's grandmother. KWIM? She isn't my family and never will be. I love my kids, and I will not make them be around people who think that money is love. My kids deserve attention, time, and love, not just a gift to make up for not coming over for months on end. My DH now realizes that, and he doesn't try to push me into seeing them. He goes to see his dad like once a month at a coffee shop or something, but he won't even see his step mom. They don't even know where we live anymore, cuz we don't want to see them. They use to just show up when it was convenient for them, but that is over now.

I hope that your man comes around soon and realizes how bad they are.

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