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Grandma love =0( Are my a bad mommy?

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June 23rd, 2010, 05:26 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,420
My dd loves, loves, loves my mother. I am a stay at home mom and am very attentive to my dd's needs. We are with each other night and day. At around 6 months she went throughs tranger anxiety and wouldn't even look at anyone else.....including my parents. Since then, we have not seen a lick of it again. She is extremely social and outgoing. I know she loves me and we have a strong bond, but sometimes I get jealous of her love for my mom. (just being honest)...when grandma is here (who she sees at least twice a week)...she wants to sit on her lap, and have only her attention...etc. She never really rejects me...but just is all over grandma. The other day I was trying to do her hair and she got mad at me and ran to my mom. A few mintues later she was sitting on her lap, drinking a bottle and I took her from my mom...she quietly, just scooted back to my mom's lap. I felt so rejected. I know she loves me...but what if she loves my mom more? Is this possible?

My mother and I have always had a co-dependant rel. It was just ehr and I till I was 3. After that..I was attached to her hip; until later in life when I rebelled. I guess I think that my daughter will be attached to her the way I was instead of me. Is this normal? Shoul I be offended? I know she doesn't know any better.....but maybe that's just the point. All she knows is what she wants....and maybe that's not me when gma is around =0( I can't say that she ignores me or is really clinging to my mom...but there are times where she is.
How do I know that my dd will love me the way all children seem to naturally love their mothers/parents?
anyone ever experience this?
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June 27th, 2010, 12:03 AM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,890
No, not at all. I used to feel that way, but now that she hardly gives me a break, I love it Sometimes. Maybe she is that way cause she doesnt see her everyday?

Last edited by Kalia20; June 27th, 2010 at 12:06 AM.
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June 27th, 2010, 06:31 AM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,420
it's possible; I hope.....she sees her like twice a week....How old is your dd?
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July 5th, 2010, 07:10 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I think it sounds perfectly normal. Mine all did the same thing, my dd is still grandma's girl. I think your good as long as grandma doesn't cross the line and do something that she knows you don't allow or allows your dd to do something that she knows she is not allowed.
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July 6th, 2010, 10:37 AM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,420
thanks...she is pretty good about that!!!
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July 23rd, 2010, 09:32 PM
AugustRaine's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 5,771
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I think it is totally normal.

My DD is almost 2 and DS is almost 4. They love me to pieces and I know that but Grandma's are just different. I think your dd is still really young but for me, my kids know I can be fun and play and all that but it is also my job to set the boundaries for them, to tell them no and to enforce the rules. My mom's job is to bend those rules, spoil the kids....it's just the role grandma plays. Because dd loves her doesn't mean she loves you any less. I know it's hard to feel that "rejection" just know it's not true rejection, it's just her reaching out for attention from someone else. At the end of the day, you know she will always love you.
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August 4th, 2010, 07:18 AM
MommyHoney's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wine Country, Ca
Posts: 226
Well, that's how I was with my grandmother too. It sounds normal, I highly doubt that your dd loves you less than your mom...maybe differently.

I had a great bond with my grandmother, if I was around her (and sometimes not) I always preferred her, but it didn't mean I loved my mother any less. I'm not your dd, but I would guess it's the same for her too.

I know how it feels to be rejected, when I pick up my ds from school sometimes he will whine and throw a little bit of a fit saying he wanted this person or that person to pick him up and not me.

I think mommytotwo is right, "At the end of the day, you know she will always love you", all children love their moms.

Thank you so much to Misfitinmn for my beautiful siggy!

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August 4th, 2010, 03:49 PM
Nickswife2004's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,462
My 2 yo is obsessed with my mom. I'm annoyed by it because I feel like my mom "fakes" a lot of the attention she gives my kids, when she's even around them (which isn't THAT often)...but I do think it's a normal thing...
My 5 yo wants to live with "mimi" too, but whatever. I know they'll get passed it.

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September 6th, 2010, 12:58 AM
us_four's Avatar Kristian... mommy of 2!!!
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: eastpointe, michigan
Posts: 1,118
dont feel bad ladies! the other day my daughter called my husbands dad (father in law) daddy. now she calls him daddy when ever she sees him. in fact he came over my house and when it was time for him to go she did not want him to leave and then wanted to leave with him. i actually think its cute. at least they have a relationship. would you rather them be close or no relationship at all??

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